Hiveworks Comics
Awkward Zombie Store
Awkward Zombie is on the Internet
Twitter Patreon
It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
Posted April 8, 2007
\"Hunter Weapons
Log 10.222.8
Science Team is attempting to reverse-engineer Samus Aran's arsenal, based off of data acquired from her assaults on our forces. Progress is slow, but steady. Command would dearly enjoy turning Aran's weapons against her. We believe we can implement Beam weapon prototypes in three cycles. Aran's Power Suit technology remains a mystery, especially the curious Morph Ball function. All attempts at duplicating it have ended in disaster: four test subjects were horribly broken and twisted when they engaged our Morph Ball prototypes. Science Team wisely decided to move on afterward.\"
-- From the Space Pirate datalogs of Metroid Prime. Okay before I mesmerize you with tales of heroism and fantasy, I need to announce that I love Space Pirates. I'm going to run away from home and become a Space Pirate. Some day. So I've been playing alot of Metroid lately (and right when they announce that they're probably holding Corruption back past June, greeaaat), and I remembered something that kinda bothered me about the first Metroid Prime. There are doors on the Space Pirate frigate Orpheon only accessible with some of Samus's unique weaponry, which the Pirates only develop later in the game (conveniently, right after you acquire it yourself)...but what I want to know is why they built doors they knew they couldn't open. Then again, the frigate was probably designed by the same Science Team that decided it was a good idea to engineer Pirate armor that leaves a gaping hole in front of what looks like a very large and vulnerable vital organ. Um, seriously. But maybe, if you punch a Space Pirate square in the heart, he becomes all huge and strong for like thirty seconds.