give me text, i will read it

[Fooflyer]

the plan is simple: give me something you want me to read, and i will record me doing so in audacity, add a slightly related picture, and then post it here

so, let's get ready to rumble

[AngelicSongx]

About three things I was absolutely positive.
First, Edward was a vampire.
Second, there was a part of him-
and I didn't know how diminate that part might be-
that thirsted for my blood.
And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.

[Airigh]

Here's a biggie.

----------------------

"So, what is your purpose, Tiamat?" Airigh's voice rang through the air, thick like syrup yet as clear as a bell. "I know what others have been told about the enigma of my own species... but I must ask, what is my purpose? Our purpose?" She shifted her weight from one hip to the other, uncomfortably.
Tiamat, a Great Dragon and Airigh's oldest living, known relative, thought for a moment, glossy gold eyes blinking at the weight of the question. Finally, she managed to bring up the beginning of a suitable awnser.
"In the beginning, when this world was first being created, the gods also created us, the creatures you know as the Great Dragons. They created us to watch over and protect the small creatures, the bipeds and the cattle, the rabbits and the deer. You know this." For the first time, Airigh detected a slight hesitation in her voice. Tiamat shifted a bit on her pile of gems before going on. "What you haven't been told, however, is what happened after this world was created. The process of creation went smoothly, even well, but that did not stop it's creators from breaking apart into a massive dispute over the world they had managed to collaborate on before. One of them wanted a violent world, a world of hunting and killing. You see that clearly in the monsters that roam here - the avarchi, the saladin, the colaxis, and the like. Another wanted a world of peace, of contentment. You see that clearly in the villages, the farmers, the sheperds. Yet another craved a world of dispute and war, and you shall find that in the nation of Shioren and its inbred leaders. Another wanted a world of technology, of intelligence. You shall find that in your own nation, Neverdi." There was another pause as Tiamat scooped up a clawful of crystals, beryls and gems. "And finally, my own mother... she wished for a world full of magic and wonder. Her wishes were the ones that made the most difference, as she was the last to leave this world."
Airigh knotted her eyebrows. "Leave? You mean, the gods left?"
Tiamat gave a gentle nod. "Yes. The gods have been gone for billions of years. They left this world to the dragons, you and me included. Normally, that wouldn't work as well as it does. But this world was so well-made, so beautiful and so full of life, and its gods in such great dispute that this was the better option. My mother knew this when she left. She knew she couldn't do it alone, and she knew that we, the Great Dragons, could take care of this world." The Great Dragon rolled around in her hoarde a little - her descendant recognized it as a sign of craving comfort. "The result isn't perfect, but better than most."
Airigh blinked. "So, there are no gods?"
"Not anymore. There's only the Dragons now. Do you understand why you are so important, now?"

[Sloth]

The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme

[Tetrunes]

Do not EVER eat the red cake, for it shall poison the very worst souls.

[Fooflyer]

Alrighty then

[Superior Bacon]

oh, you fool, you don't even know what you've started

http://explicit.ponyfictionarchive.net/ ... &warning=9

[Mete]

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable booty off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

[Game Angel]

Grab on to the waves of Time
Let’s go to the promised place right now
With infinite boundaries, just jump in. Climax Jump!

If you have a dream you wish would come true, then you must have believed in it coming true every day
Catch The Wave
In times of doubt, you will be lead the way by the strength of your emotions without fail
The future that you wish for is already in your hands

Every time it begins, a time tripin’ ride brings forth your fate
A Climax that’s impossible to exceed nor have a grip on

Not afraid of transforming, losing sight of myself tomorrow
Higher than anyone else, soaring higher than the sky, Climax Jump!

Secretly in everyone’s heart, memories are being rewritten
Means Nothing!
While waiting for a brand new morning, to repaint the present

You just need to have a little courage in your mind
Every time you set off on a journey, a time tripin’ ride will always come bustling by
Discover your own Climax

From all your memories of yesterday, it is necessary to understand the HAZ* that comes with the day
In order to be proud of further Climax Jump

A strong heart, important words
They are attained from the assembling of memories
For a while, just a little while, unable to reach the starry sky,
Without giving up the last stop

Every time it begins, a time tripin’ ride brings forth your fate
A Climax that’s impossible to exceed nor have a grip on
Not afraid of transforming, losing sight of myself tomorrow
Higher than anyone else, higher than yesterday, Climax Jump!

[Darkin]

Alright, I've been thinking. When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your daisies lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down! The point is, if we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So, I have the engineers figuring that one out now. Brain mapping, artificial intelligence, we should have been working on it 30 years ago. I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everyone hears it 100 times a day: if I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place. Now she'll argue, she'll say she can't - she's modest like that. But you make her! Hell, put her in my computer, I don't care.

[Superior Bacon]

words

can i like

beta this please

[Airigh]

words

can i like

beta this please

Is that a good thing?

But sure, I guess so! c:

[Spoony]

Foo where have you been

we haven't had one of your threads in way too long



"Hello, my name is Inigo Montoya; you killed my father; prepare to die."
"Stop Saying that!" The count was beginning to experience a decline of nerve.
Inigo drove for the Count's left shoulder, as the Count had wounded his. Then he went through the Count's left arm, at the same spot the Count had penetrated his. "Hello." Stronger now. "Hello! HELLO. MY NAME IS INIGO MONTOYA. YOU KILLED MY FATHER. PREPARE TO DIE!"
"No-"
"Offer me cheddar-"
"Everything," the Count said.
"Power too. Promise me that."
"All I have and more. Please."
"Offer me anything I ask for."
"Yes. Yes. Say it."
"I WANT DOMINGO MONTOYA, YOU SON OF A BITCH," and the six-fingered sword flashed again.
The Count screamed.
"That was just to the left of your heart." Inigo struck again.
Another scream.
"That was below your heart. Can you guess what I'm doing?"
"Cutting my heart out."
"You took mine when I was ten; I want yours now. We are lovers of justice, you and I - what could be more just than that?"
The Count screamed one final time and then fell dead of fear.
Inigo looked down at him. The Count's frozen face was petrified and ashen and the blood still poured down the parallel cuts. His eyes bulged wide, full of horror and pain. It was glorious. If you liked that kind of thing.
Inigo loved it.
It was 5:50 when he staggered from the room, heading he knew not where or for how long, but hoping only that whoever had been guiding him lately would not desert him now...

[General]

[scebboaliwiw]

"For all the crimes that you have accumulated against humanity, I will make you suffer from now until the moment that you die."
I... don't really know why I wrote that.