Corrupt a Wish

[Superior Bacon]

Granted. It's because we're all dead.

I wish I wasn't so lazy.

[NDividedByZero]

You are now dead.

I wish I cud maek sum sikk beets on dis here drunpadd, yo.

[YCobb]

Granted- it turns out that "maek sum sikk beets on dis here drunpadd" is an ancient satanic chant that triggers the apocalypse.


I wish I didn't have gym class.

[Nefarious Bear]

Granted. Before this wish, you had the urge to become a serial killer, but was too lazy. you now begin to kill everyone in your neighborhood, before long your guilt overwhelmis you and you end your life.

I wish i had more cheddar (obtained in a legal way)

Edit: Fuck i gave this wish a detailed corruption only to be ninja'd. Fuck.

[D-vid]

Granted, enjoy your cheese.

I wish there were no ninjas, only doctors who were also ninjas.

[LordSeth]

all the doctors are ninjas. and since you have to give their name for insurance and the like, they hunt everyone down and kill them.

I wish that the world became completely literate.

[Rinoko]

Granted. In addition to being literate, everyone instantly becomes enormous jerkwads.

I wish I had the nerve.

[Noble Wrot]

Granted. The nerve is very sensitive and experiences sharp pain every time you pee.

I wish I could have Chinese food for dinner.

[Zorinth]

Granted, but since you are new no one cares.

I wish my download speed would go faster without destroying my internet or computer.

[Rinoko]

Granted. Your computer begins to download so fast that it downloads whatever it can find, whether you wanted it to or not.

I wish I was a more talented musician.

[Blitz Walrus]

You become the John Lennon of our generation, with a sound like that of The Who and The Beatles had they Voltroned together. But before you get the chance to play you fall into a wood chipper

I wish I could fall asleep faster.

[Ryugexu]

Granted - but you wake up naked outside three blocks from home every day.


I wish I could draw better.

[Silver_Wolf]

Granted, but art has just become illegal everywhere and you're in jail now.

I wish that I wouldn't talk in my sleep.

[D-vid]

You don't talk in your sleep anymore. You scream in your sleep.

I wish I could hold all these lemons.

[Trygve]

Your dog died.

I wish there was some food in this house.