Zink's Safari Tour Into Webcomic Hell

[Tatzel]

http://saraseven.deviantart.com/gallery ... 4#/d2kgf0c

What do I win

A mind full of fuck

This is so horrible, but I can't stop reading it

[[Citation Needed]]

I think this one is the worst page.


If just for the last panel and all the text.
That is not how suspense works.

[General]

Late but
my god Freddy Fucking Fish hell yes
The last one I played was the one where you had to collect keys or something like that
nostalgia'd hard

[iconsting]

(Zink, if you don't want this here just drop me a PM and I'll move it to my own thread)
Ladies and gentlemen, there's been a slight detour in our journey. You see, Zink is off stuffing his face with the provisions he's supposed to bring back to the rest of us. He'll be back to feed you the bones off of the crispy KFC chicken he had for lunch, but in the meantime, I'm supposed to keep you entertained and from cannibalizing each other.

Avert your gaze to the right, where we find a comic by the name of Sparkling Generation: Valkyrie Yuuki. A comic about an anime fan who is tranformed into a Magical Girl warrior. IT'S JUST LIKE ONE OF MY JAPANESE ANIMES!

It also features the Norse gods, who are far inferior to the Greek gods.

Anyway, I'm sure you guys are close to reverting to the instincts of a hungry cougar, so let's get this pain train a-rolling

So our story begins with our protagonist staring at a case to what is assumed to be the DVD of a popular anime show known as Magical girl. He looks at the case with extreme excitement due to promises of epic battles and, more importantly, pantyshots.

Notice that the second panel is actually a photo with the protagonist drawn in. Why? Probably because the artist was having trouble with the background of this panel so they just said FUCK IT and used a google image or something. This will not be the last time you see this.

Here we find out that our protagonist, Yuuki Kanazuchi, is a student who lives alone, values anime over his future, and apparently entertains himself by watching shows about Magical girls. Because he likes them. A lot.

Let's play that drinking game we played during Gamer Chicks, only instead of trying to find the punchline, find a funny one; and instead of taking a shot, you cut off a finger. If anyone makes the next five panels with six fingers or more, they're cheating.

FUCKING SHIT THE BLOOD IS EVERYWHERE OH MY GOD MY WHY-ahem, I hope none of you cut off your finger yet, because this is supposed to be a serious page.

So the movie turns on and opens with a magical animal thing by the name of Hermod. He does an odd intro for these shows and Yuuki is upset. He proceeds to talk to the TV because it makes him aroused when suddenly the show goes 3-D. Assholes forgot to tell him to put on his glasses. Good thing he has one of those 3-D television sets that didn't exist when this comic was written otherwise this would have been really odd for him.


So Hermod wasn't just a 3-D projection, he jumped out of the television. How? Use your imaaaaaaginaaaaaation.

He goes on to do what a Norse messenger god does best: read stuff. By reading this all-important message, he does maaaaaaagic. This strips poor Yuuki of all his clothing and stabs him in the chest. See, if Hermes was here, he'd have just given useful advice and been o his merry way. Hermod has to be a little prick about it.

Oops, he said booty, which is a rude body part. It's also not funny. Say goodbye to your index finger!

With a SHAKOOM! Yuuki somehow recovers from the gaping hole in his chest and gets new clothing. He's also a girl now.

While Hermod Nods his head in approval thinking he's a stud, he fails to realize that Yuuki is freaking out at the two tumors that have sprouted on her chest. Hermod calms Yuuki down by reassuring her that they're just his tits and Yuuki responds that she was afraid of that.

What the fuck did you think they were? daisies it, it's hard to type with nothing but my pinky and thumb. Don't make me do that to myself- aw shit.

Aaaaaaaaand this panel is nothing but him jiggling her tits, slowly realizing that there's nothing to be afraid of. Then Hermod slaps her in the chest, ruining the good time.

Way to go asshole, you're a buzzkill. Why, if Hermes was here, he'd help the poor girl jiggle her fears away.

Anyway, that's the end of the first issue. This comic has many issues, and I plan to rip them all a new one. However, in the meantime, I should probably get out of here before Zink shows up and realizes that I've just stolen some of his bad comic material. Feel free to tell him whatever stories you'd like about why there's blood and fingers all over the place.

This is your unofficial tour guide iconsting signing off for now.

[[Citation Needed]]

At least the art isn't bad.

[General]

the last panel
MY MIND IS FULL OF FUCK

[iconsting]

At least the art isn't bad.

I have already read through the entire archive to date and noticed that both the writing and art make significant improvements. There's still plenty of bad, but the writer is making a attempt to improve at least.

[Taruta]

[Crawfish]

It's not bad exactly.

Just weird.

[Exeres]

I'm pretty sure the trade-off to art that doesn't make my brain want to murder something is the story, which is so thinly veiled that a truly retarded titmouse could figure out that the artist just wanted to draw tiddies.

[Dragoon]

It's not bad exactly.

Just weird.

This

[Exeres]

Let's leave the trashing to Zink. This isn't Webcomic Hell, this is just webcomic-related torture.

[Ganelon]

Did I make a bad call on this one? I mean, I knew from the start that it was far from the worst I've got, yet you guys are telling me that it improves. I'm going to have to take a closer look now, to see if it really does belong on the list.

Also, in the interests of this thread, I'm going to stop providing material in this manner. If Zink wants ideas, he can have everything I've got, but there's no need to ruin the surprise by posting it in his thread beforehand. I'll just do it with PMs.

[Wordsmith]

This thread needs to be revived

[Zink]

This thread needs to be revived

Does it?

Don't get me wrong, this thread had potential. However, I started this thread for the purpose of having something to write and update that would be faster and easier to update than my LP, so that on days where I couldn't update that I could update this. However, this ironically turned out to be WAY more work than I expected. Altogether, updating this thread once was far more time-consuming than updating my Let's Play.

So, for now, I'm afraid this thread will remain dead. Finding webcomics to bash wasn't easy, the thread wasn't too funny, and right now I'd rather focus on either updating my LP again or doing something else.

When summer arrives and I have inordinate amounts of free time, I might update again. Until then, the chances are slim, I'm afraid.