Vampire Adventure

[Fooflyer]

In my defense, I wrote that while you were posting.

>Search his body for something useful to put in Inventory.

sozolz, yanimae
INVENTORY:
>explorer's outfit
>explorer's hat
>shovel
>a banana
>long sleeved t-shirt with some odd language on it
>long pants
>sandals

Put some of his blood in the glass vial and then maybe put the banana that guy had in it. Because fruit and blood go together very well.

Then drink it

You position the vial so that it catches the blood seeping out of the arteries. In a short matter of time, you have a full vial, and blood all over your hand -- you lick that bit off.

You then proceed to loot the banana from the mutilated corpse.
And then mash it up with your hands and put the chunky bits into your mouth, while quickly emptying the contents of the vial in with it.
You make sure to clean off the banana on your hands in the guy's blood.
After drinking/eating the weirdest mixture in the world, you notice some more prey coming around the corner. Apparently, they must've heard you killing their associate.

Better check your name while you still can.

take the shovel and chuck it at any other humans you smell

You take the shovel and quickly chuck it at the prey coming around the corner, effectively knocking one out with your questionable aim.
His partner is distracted by the it, and begins vain attempts to revive him.

[Badfish]

Go into the sun and sparkle

[Zink]

Notice that your name is clearly "Kevin Von Thunderpickle."

[Fooflyer]

Notice that your name is clearly "Kevin Von Thunderpickle."

After quickly glancing at the old inscription, you notice that the prey has vandalized the exact spot where your name should be.

There will be hell to pay.

In the meantime, however, you decide to name yourself "Kevin Von Thunderpickle", to mark a new age of terror and bloodshed.

Go into the sun and sparkle

As much as you'd like to go out and burn yourself in the hopes of sparkling, you have more pressing matters to attend to, namely the really tasty/angry human that is charging at you with the shovel you just threw.

[Zink]

Shove the sandals down the not-dead-or-unconscious guy's throat.

[Fooflyer]

Break his knee, get him to tell you of any schoolgirls he knows so you can stalk them.

While making a quick but ultimately unnecessary swoop to the left, you stick out your leg, tripping him over and landing him onto the ground.
You walk over, admiring your quick handy-work, and do a quick little stomp on his kneecap.

After holding him in place and lowering yourself down to his ear, the timid human seems quite calm. Scared shitless, but calm.

You whisper in his ear an ancient tongue, requesting the location of any schoolgirls so that you may stalk them.
Unfortunately for you, your language is long dead and are the only one who speaks it.

He reveals in horror and attempts to run away, you merely break his other knee and question him further, making his eyes bulge in pain and horror.

He reflects confusion and, after a long while, you simply shove your hand into his skull and pull out his brain.

Shove the sandals down the not-dead-or-unconscious guy's throat.

In an act of humour, you run back to the guy who you impaled with a pick-axe, take his sandals, and run back and shove it down the unconscious individual's throat.

He wakes up.

[Defenestrator2.0]

[Zink]

The only other currently-not-dead adventure thread is the space one.

I really don't think this is that big a deal.

[Fooflyer]

Def has an odd habit of only knowing how to post images.

[Xeraphem]

Anyway,

Knock the dude out again, rob him for all he's worth, including clothes.

This, and then use the ancient rite of the Curb-stomp.

[Yewkewbius]

Kick him in the face, kill him, and move on

[Fooflyer]

Anyway,

Knock the dude out again, rob him for all he's worth, including clothes.

Interrupting the prey's attempts to reason with you, with one great blow, you punch him in his head.

His ears are bleeding, but you can smell he's alive, barely.

After drinking the blood from his ears just because you were thirsty, you proceed to take all the items on him.

YOUR INVENTORY
CLOTHES
WEARING
>tuxedo
>cape
>boots

NOT WEARING
>akubra hat
>ancient helmet
>ancient cuirass
>ancient greaves
>ancient gauntlets
>ancient boots
>buttoned dress shirt
>belted dress pants
WEAPONS
>ancient cutlass
OTHER STUFF
>bloody vial

It would appear that this particular adventurer has looted the crypt of your father, who was a vampiric general, and stored his armour in his over sized backpack.
Only when the army's soldiers realised he was a vampire did they butcher him in his tent, and some years later his armour was recovered by one of your sisters and brought to your family tomb.
It would also appear you just killed the leader of this expedition.

Near you is a gate that leads into the servant's crypt.

Kick him in the face, kill him, and move on

For raiding your slightly beloved father's crypt, you kick him in the face, caving it in.

And then you just rip the shit out of him
You're not even sure if he can be defined as human anymore.

You enter the servant's crypt. In there is about 10 or so explorers, 3 of them armed with weird little things that smell like gunpowder. Using your natural acrobatics, you climb up to the scaffolding near the ceiling. They can't see you, but you can see them.

You figure some of the tomb's traps must still be in pretty good shape, because one of the intended traps, a massive, undead hulking bear is on the floor motionless.

[Yewkewbius]

Go into the servant's crypt

[Deiphobus]

take their stuff and pretend to be an archeologist. walk into town.

[Fooflyer]

Go into the servant's crypt

You are already in the servant's crypt.

take their stuff and pretend to be an archeologist. walk into town.

Not only do you have no idea what strange language they're speaking, but you have to get past these guys AND trek a mile or so to the entrance/exit.

I also hardly believe they'll just GIVE someone all their stuff when that particular someone is covered in the blood of their colleagues.