Taboo Topics (Heavily moderated)

[TheStranger]

How else are they going to get noticed? Im not condoning the idiots who jmped on the bandwagoin because it was cool, but the sheer hopelesness of getting ANY major publicity or influence in a nation the size of the US makes any grassroots campaign almost doomed from the start, especially if it requires actual physical dedication rather than just donating cheddar or signing a list.

[Lambeth]

Americans really need to learn how to protest again, they're really bad at it. I remember hearing that people went to go eat at chick-fil-a to support the CEO's "family values". Fuck gays and give me a cock sandwich!

[Lotharu]

I think that was less of a protest and more of a "If you don't agree with the company's morals, don't eat there. If you do agree, eat there."
The type of thinking of the fastest way to get your point across is through a company's wallet.

[Kamak]

And technically, it worked. While the traditional marriage side ate there that one day when the protest was centered, many people boycotted Chik-Fil-A in the months that followed, and of course, supporters didn't go eat there every meal to make up for it.

That resulted in the company amending their position, essentially leaving the debate, and re-evaluating what their donated cheddar went towards.

The protest worked.

However, boycotts seem to be almost the extent of our ability to protest, and nonviolent resistance is a joke when people throw hissy fits about how they're being sent to jail for protesting.

[Lotharu]

Or they don't know how to peacefully protest and expect everyone to ignore them breaking smaller laws when they protest something "so much bigger", then saying they're being put in jail for protesting.

[TheStranger]

OR cops are incredibly trigger pop flyin' and love to antagonize peaceful protests into riots so they have a reason for going police brutality.

[Riku]

It's usually what Lotharu said.

[Lotharu]

Littering is a huge issue with "protests". The occupy movement left Central Park a disaster area. Then there was the other stuff, like destruction of public property just by being one place for days or weeks, public indecency, vagrancy, drug use, etc.

[Syobon]

In some cases it might also be a few idiots ruining it for everybody else.

[AngelicSongx]

Wasn't sure where to say this, but, does someone really have depression if they talk about it all the time, and continuously say they never had friends (till now), and always mention they have no future?

[TheStranger]

Wasn't sure where to say this, but, does someone really have depression if they talk about it all the time, and continuously say they never had friends (till now), and always mention they have no future?

I doubt it, that sounds more like someone with really shitty self esteem fishing for compliments. The word "depression" has been watered down to "some days I feel sort of sad".

[Wry Bread]

Wasn't sure where to say this, but, does someone really have depression if they talk about it all the time, and continuously say they never had friends (till now), and always mention they have no future?

I doubt it, that sounds more like someone with really shitty self esteem fishing for compliments. The word "depression" has been watered down to "some days I feel sort of sad".

That's not necessarily true. I've had clinical depression since toddlerhood, and I used to be like that. I actually didn't have any friends that didn't steal from me or beat me up in front of other people until middle school, and that lasted a short but very enjoyable time until they moved on. Then in high school I had friends sophomore year for a few months, but then the group broke apart. I'm not talking about people who behaved in polite or friendly ways toward me; a lot of people were very polite to me in high school, at least. I mean people who were interested in spending non-necessary time around me (not partnered up for a class assignment, not excluded from their usual lunch table, etc.) We're talking locally, I mean.

Currently, I have exactly one "local" friend, an ex who lives over an hour away.

The thing to keep in mind about depression is that it's not just "I feel sad a bloo bloo." People suffering from it are often physically incapable of optimism because of the way their brain produces chemicals. You don't get to just decide what your feelings are; you only get to decide how you act upon them, and even then, it's debatable to what degree full control is possible because of the way chemical emotions alter the patterns of the brain. It's not a matter of willpower, laziness or pessimism for attention. They just can't. My parents get angry at me a lot and claim that I purposely choose to remember only miserable things from my childhood as a slur against them, but the fact is, people who suffer or have suffered from depression have the opposite of "rose tinted glasses," and it's not intentional.

That said, do people sometimes use the label of "depression" as a "get out of selfishness free" card? Sure. They do it with "autism" and "bi polar," too. But it's a horrible and hurtful mistake to a) assume anyone who seems "too negative" is faking, and b) to extend that suspicion to anyone claiming depression. The other thing not to assume is that just because a person is capable of experiencing happiness during moments of excitement or fun that they cannot be depressed. Depression doesn't mean you're NEVER pop flyin'; it's often characterized by the default emotion when nothing is going on changing from "okay" to "powerfully unhappy," lethargy, a feeling of malaise, and a great deal of difficulty trying to do anything at all, including things you traditionally enjoy. There was a period recently when I was barely posting, and this is related to that.

Even if they do have "shitty self-esteem," that's not something to be ridiculed for. Low self-esteem and issues like depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand and fuel one another. It's painful, it's miserable, and having others approach your problem from the point of view of "why don't you just quit sucking/be pop flyin' for once" only drives home the point of "there is something wrong with you, you are inferior," both because they are being blamed for something they can't control and because they are unable to "just get over it" and feel they have now failed yet again and that it's their fault they can't feel pop flyin' more than temporarily.

[Vax]

Wry is exactly right. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes it's good to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to depression or low self esteem. It's true that some people misappropriate the label all the time or self-diagnose in a misguided way, but it's better to take someone at face value if they say they suffer from depression or any other type of ailment. That doesn't mean you are required to take depression or low self esteem as suitable excuses for someone's shortcomings as a person, or let slide any unsavory behavior based on their personal problems. Even people suffering from such things are responsible for their actions.

In the long run though, I think believing someone claiming to suffer from depression when it turns out that they do not is better than the alternative of being skeptical towards a person who actually really needs help and support, if that makes sense.

[Wry Bread]

Wry is exactly right. Sometimes, not always, but sometimes it's good to give people the benefit of the doubt when it comes to depression or low self esteem. It's true that some people misappropriate the label all the time or self-diagnose in a misguided way, but it's better to take someone at face value if they say they suffer from depression or any other type of ailment. That doesn't mean you are required to take depression or low self esteem as suitable excuses for someone's shortcomings as a person, or let slide any unsavory behavior based on their personal problems. Even people suffering from such things are responsible for their actions.

In the long run though, I think believing someone claiming to suffer from depression when it turns out that they do not is better than the alternative of being skeptical towards a person who actually really needs help and support, if that makes sense.

There was a really, really good post I read somewhere, maybe on cracked, that made the point that when people try to say "Oh, you shouldn't believe them, they're just tricking you", the only logical answer is "Why would that ever reflect badly on me? In a million, million years, why would giving another person the benefit of the doubt and extending them compassion ever seem like a foolish thing, even if you find out their problems weren't as 'bad' as you thought? If they're claiming it, they probably have something wrong going on in their lives anyway. That's the point. They want or need the attention to feel better about themselves."

That ALSO said? Sometimes, yeah, it's very plain that someone is trying to execute an insultingly crude caricature of what they perceive a disorder to be like. I knew a girl a few years ago who would get online and say things like "*CRAI CRAI* EVA-01 just dieded! sob, sniff!", including the asterisks actions and contrived boo-hoo noises, but when asked what the cause of death was, how they were handling it, when the wake was going to be, or any information at all about said "gf," they would just go "idk, lol. i'm really sad though!"

But again, unless they're being abusive to others due to their problem, or it's something like that I just typed, it's really, really better to just be as compassionate as you can, because you can't know. If you were "tricked", you were still being a good person and the other party obviously felt they needed the attention for some reason. If not, you're still being a good person.

[AngelicSongx]

I understand what you're saying, and though you're right about it not reflecting badly on me, is it possible to try and help too much? Like, I know I'd find myself hours trying to comfort a depressed friend. I guess I need to get the mentality of them feeling automatically better, but does that also mean that I try too hard to help them? And even if they're not faking, and it's important to listen and be compassionate, if they bring it up every single moment when things are pop flyin' and all right what do we do? Listen to their problems again and again? Ignore them? Try and get them to concentrate on what we're doing to momentarily forget how hard their past was?

Though I liked what you said here:

Even if they do have "shitty self-esteem," that's not something to be ridiculed for. Low self-esteem and issues like depression and anxiety often go hand-in-hand and fuel one another. It's painful, it's miserable, and having others approach your problem from the point of view of "why don't you just quit sucking/be pop flyin' for once" only drives home the point of "there is something wrong with you, you are inferior," both because they are being blamed for something they can't control and because they are unable to "just get over it" and feel they have now failed yet again and that it's their fault they can't feel pop flyin' more than temporarily.

It made me feel bad because I remember the times I try and tell them to "just get over it". But most of those times it's because I'm trying to help someone else or do some other important thing. Although, I do realize what it's like to have their feelings sort of cast aside.