Let's Zap to the Extreme!

[Ultra Bidoof]

And now for Sonichu

First, the pages that were uploaded in August 2009



Finding out that homosexual people like you comic==hellish experience.

Chris is such a coward.



I can't tell if they're talking in innuendo or not.



I forgot to mention that Chris's self-insert was also a Power Ranger at some point.

It was something like Power Rangers Turbo, but with go-karts instead of race cars.



Oh right, there are also Transformers in this issue. The pizza girl is supposed to be a homogram(meant to say hologram but I'm leaving that in).

Chris never explained why his transformers even need holographic drivers if everyone knows about them, or why they're working undercover as pizza delivery vehicles.



I bet Chris tried to do this when he got arrested last October.



"You murdered a few dozen cops! Good for you!"



That's pretty much all this issue is. Transformers and fight scenes. And it somehow sucks booty.



I'm not sure why there are police cars in the woods. I'm pretty sure the police cars are not-Decepticons-but-basically-Decepticons, so I really don't know why they just don't enter giant robot mode.

I also like how two of the cops apparently flew through their windshield and died.



I know those are vines, but honestly they look like ribbons.



Thank god for that disclaimer. Imagine what would happen if all the kids reading this decided to use their superpowers to tie up cops and slam them into the ground headfirst?

You're a terrible role model Wild.



Wild that has got to be the most autistic response to anything ever.



Now would be a good time to use one of your *GENERIC ATTACK* things, Chris. But nooo, we're supposed to just assume that Reginald can reflect lasers with his claws now.



Yes, we needed to know that the plane-robots hit grass. That was a completely necessary explanation.



Dat face in the last panel.



If you look at this upside down, Chris clearly drew an inverted cross inside a pentagram.

Since Chris is a flawless artist, I can only conclude that this is intentional and they are attempting to summon Satan.

Tragically, the robots have no souls, and Satan will not accept the offer because he's got better shit to do.



Yeah whatever. Robots, fight scene, Chris trying to prove that he's straight by trying to draw straight things.



And that's the last of the pages he uploaded in August. After that, he got hit with writer's block and couldn't write for a month.

I'm not sure why all the pages were fight scenes. Chris might have been suffering from writer's block at the time, and he really didn't have a plot in mind for this episode beyond "Giant Robot attack, I leave the Time Void, stretch this out to 70 or so pages". Not to mention that fight scenes require him to actually draw things.

So the rest of the issue is just fight scenes.

[Ultra Bidoof]

I...uh...well, shit.

Chris may have bought a hooker last sunday and lost his virginity. The inner circle directed him to a classifieds website that had a significant amount of hookers on it.

Word is Chris was afraid that he'd be sent to jail and die there. I'd just like to remind you all that jail and rape prison are separate things.

[Eat_box]

... PFFFFFAHAHAHAHA

[Blitz Walrus]

Hooooooly fuck.

[Ultra Bidoof]

One of the inner circle agents definitely led him to the hooker's house.

Now, I'd like to point out that Chris lost his virginity to a hooker at the age of thirty, and only because he was afraid that he'd go to rape-me-in-the-shower-and-shank-me-in-my-sleep prison. That, and he hated being a thirty year old virgin.

He did not disclose this to anyone but the agent that led him to the hooker, the girl he's trying to pick up at the moment, and whoever he sent the facebook message to. I can now write a list of insults that will work on him:

-You didn't actually lose your virginity
-You took thirty daisies years to lose your virginity
-It doesn't count as losing your virginity if you use a hooker
-The hooker was a tranny too and you lost your virginity to a guy


Oh, and according to Cogs Chris is terrified that he might go to jail. He's convinced that if he goes to jail, he'll die. He plans on starving himself if he gets sent to jail, likely in protest but I don't know for sure.

[Silver_Wolf]

Starving to death is harder than it sounds, chris-chan.

edited:
can't type

[scebboaliwiw]

Maybe not to him.

[rambage]

too lazy to starve himself

[Silver_Wolf]

Gah, harder! I meant to say harder. I fail at typing.

[Gryewolf]

What an idiot.
Everybody knows that if you stay a virgin until you're 30 you become a wizard.
He could have honed his magical powers and shit.

[FatOldRobot]

He already has the Curse-ye-ha-me-ha and his massive muscles.
Why would he need anything else?

[Nachalnik]

[FatOldRobot]

I think the commenter in the first picture sums it up nicely.

[Gryewolf]

He doesn't really know how a hooker works does he?

[Sol Reaper]

He doesn't know how anything works.