No problem, Scebboaliwiw. I'm glad you asked! The stats have a couple of functions. For one, they determine how the other prisoners treat you. If any of your stats are "low" (probably below 75%-80%), the prisoners give you specific insults. If your Intelligence is low, you're made fun of for being "retarded" and promptly beat up. If your Agility is low, prisoners make fun of how slow you are and promptly beat you up. If your Strength is low, prisoners call you a weakling and promptly beat you up. If your respect is low, prisoners say you just want respect from the wardens and give you a firm open handed pat on your butt... then promptly beat you up.
However, at the same time, when your stats get higher, prisoners often challenge you to fights to prove they're better than you. They don't really have specified insults, they just say they're annoyed to see a "big man" walk around.
Stats also unlock new activities. Higher strength means you can make things in the workshop, and higher intelligence means you can cook or do paperwork in the library. These activities earn you cheddar, which you'll eventually need to get out of jail.
Intelligence is raised by reading.
Strength is raised by working out.
Agility is raised by... running around, I guess.
Respect is raised mostly by winning fights.
The crime at the beginning determines how long your sentence is, and how prisoners react you you (some call you an animal, others scoff at how minor your crime is).
Most of these things will be gone over in the next two updates. I hope to get my next update completed by tomorrow! Thanks for all the support! I haven't given up on this, I'm just taking my time, making sure everything is clearly written out and easy to understand. No worries!
Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
♪Lu lu lu lu lu la la♪
-
Nancymaker
- Posts: 2424
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:19 am
- Location: Land of Neeps and Tatties
- Contact:
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
This is exciting.
I am excited.
I am excited.
Chopstix wrote:clone me is probs a lesbian so we're both barking up the wrong vagina
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
It seems just as my eyes close, a blaring voice comes over the P.A.
Ugh, I guess it's time to start the day... My first full day at Southtown Correctional Facility... I guess I should really just spend the day in South Block. I need to make some allies so I don't just spend the whole day getting the crap kicked out of me. I should also get that broom back and work my way out of this financial pitfall.
While wandering around the block, my foe Broom Thief approaches.
Aw, man! I'm pop flyin' for you! I know we haven't really been great friends, but I'm always pop flyin' to see a fellow inmate go free!
JUST KIDDING.
I then proceed to beat the living daylights out of Broom Thief. Chaos erupts in South Block, and many prisoners flee, fearing they will be sucked into battle. For some reason, a prisoner from West Block is here. He takes cover behind a potted plant.
What I found even more surprising was that Broom Thief no longer had the broom! Instead, some prisoner I had not yet encountered ran away with it. Just as I was about to chase after him, he reappeared. This is what he had to say:
His words do not faze me. All I can think of is "BROOM". This man looked nowhere near as tough as the real Broom Thief.
... And he isn't. I easily steal the broom from him. Still, he finds the nerve to threaten me.
I am unshaken in this new position of power! You'll have to excuse the overwhelming foreground element of bulging muscles and bad tattoos, but you can clearly see Fake Thief totally defeated and me with the awesome broom right???
After my sudden victory, I try to get my sweep on. Another foe of mine, Don King, interrupts me.
Don King, please! I may have a low intelligence stat, but even I know how to read a newspaper. You're in here for conning your fighters out of millions of dollars, like always. A pathetic man like you could do nothing to harm me, The Great Zangief! Now I suggest you slink away to your cell before you really make me angry.
DON KING! NO! I WAS WRONG! The guy must have been taking lessons from Muhammad Ali!
Just as suddenly as he appeared, he vanished. Don King, a man I now truly feared, had let me live, and let me keep my broom. I took this as a sign to stop all the violence, and start making some cheddar (And I did, look! I earned $5!)
It's not long before, yet again, I am interrupted. This time by a rather rotund Caucasian fellow with blond cornrows.
... Ladies.
If this was the Zangief from yesterday, he would have been worried. However, this is not the old Zangief. This is the NEW Zangief. This is the Zangief that solves night time mysteries! This is the Zangief that survived a punch from Don King! This is the Zangief that has a BROOM!
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I now know that 95% of the time, after someone has finished talking to you, they will immediately start punching you to emphasize their point. From now one, I will be the first to strike!
ZANGIEF PUNCH!
With one blow, I have subdued Cornrows! Before I can finish him off, Warden Smokey steps in, yelling:
So, this pathetic creature is called "Original G"? Well then, Original G, I will remember this...
... For when I am done running awaaaaayyyyyy! It's hard to notice, but what happens is that, for some reason sweeping is both physically and emotionally draining. Right now I'm pretty close to insanity, and if I lose my fight with Warden Smokey, I will definitely go crazy.
Luckily, a fight breaks out among the other inmates, and the Warden is forced to let me go. VICTORY! I know I'm risking a bit by sweeping when my happiness is so low, but I'm so close to breaking even, surely I can earn $10 before going crazy.
... Nope.
Alright, so I did cut it too close. Right now I am temporarily insane. I am now going to go around and beat up as many people as I can. That's not something I really want to do, but when you go insane, your character does not respond to the controls. I can only hope someone is able to keep me down until I gain back control.
Sure enough, I rush over to the person closest to be and beat them other the head with my broom. Crazy people are hard to beat up on their own, but with a crazy person with a weapon? That's a situation I usually flee from. I look on helplessly as Zangief bludgeons his opponent. Even Don King can only look on in the distance. Warden Smokey turns away, pretending nothing is wrong. I expect the worst, when suddenly...
Yes! Four Eyes gains the upper hand! Usually I'm not pop flyin' about getting my face punched in, but if it prevents more days getting added to my sentence--- Wait, who's that character in the background? Is that Broom Thief?!
Curse that scoundrel! He himself distracted Four Eyes long enough for me to recover! Now my crazed self has control of the situation! I stand over my opponent, ready to land the final blow! Why, Broom Thief?! WHY?!
... You bastard! This was all just a part of one of your crazy broom stealing schemes! Sadly, I am powerless to stop him, as Crazy Zangief is too preoccupied repeatedly punching Four Eyes in the face. I can't help but notice Warden Smokey making his way over, unable to ignore this behaviour any longer.
In my madness, I ease my grip on Four Eyes to listen to Warden Smokey. Four Eyes takes this opportunity to slip away. Smokey continues to berate me.
Surprisingly, I ignore Warden Smokey. I ignore Four Eyes. No, only one word echoes in the depths of my mind:
"BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM"
My movements are fast and silent. Broom Thief does not hear me approach, his mind absorbed in sweeping.
Taken by surprise, I land one of my famous "Zangief Punch!"'s. The foolish Broom Thief is stunned, and it looks like I have finally gained the upper hand!
But alas! It is not so! It seems Broom Thief is well versed in "Broom Kenpo" and overpowers me with ease. Content with his work, he leaves, broom in hand.
That will be a decision he will regret! With that last blow, he knocked some sense into me. I've broken free from the constraints of insanity! Finally!
Haha! Now, with sanity back on my side, Broom Thief is powerless! I quickly grab the broom out of his hand and....
... And he just kind of runs away. Huh.
OH GODDAMN IT! EVERY daisies TIME I GET THIS daisies BROOM, SOME daisies SCRUB SHOWS UP LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!
I WASTE NO TIME WITH PLEASANTRIES, AND RUSH HEAD-FIRST INTO MY OPPONENT
RRRRAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!
... Raugh?
Fake Thief (Yeah, that was Fake Thief! The guy I beat up this morning!) walks away triumphantly. In my bruised, beaten state, I find myself laughing.
He forgot to take my broom... HE FORGOT TO TAKE MY BROOM!
VICTORY!
I bask in my victory and sweep away until my health bar is nearly drained. Not only have I paid back my debt of $20, I've actually earned $50!
Ah, just in time, too! Dinner is being served! My time in Southtown is finally taking a turn for the better! Could it be that I've finally settled back into prison life?
...W....Wait... Fake Thief.... We had this conversation just this morning... Why are you... What...
WHAT IS THE MATRIX
I WAS A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME
I WAS IN A COMA THE WHOLE TIME
I AM TYLER DURDEN
MY LIFE IS ACTUALLY A TV SHOW
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
I.... I get it. I finally get it. I get it. This is a game I can't win. I must lose. Don't you realize? I had that conversation with Fake Thief already. Then I kicked his booty all the way to next Sunday. So what did South Block do? It called a do-over. As Freddie Mercury once sang:
"Is this the real life?... Or is this just some Saw bullshit where the only way I win is by cutting off my arm or something."
I... I don't know what to do... I... Maybe I should to make a jailbreak or...
EVERYBODY OUT OF THE BRAIN! THIS ZANGIEF NEEDS TO DEAL WITH HIS HUNGER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab3XCYMLpEk
Man I hope they're serving Mac N Cheese in the canteen today.
To be continued...
Ugh, I guess it's time to start the day... My first full day at Southtown Correctional Facility... I guess I should really just spend the day in South Block. I need to make some allies so I don't just spend the whole day getting the crap kicked out of me. I should also get that broom back and work my way out of this financial pitfall.
While wandering around the block, my foe Broom Thief approaches.
Aw, man! I'm pop flyin' for you! I know we haven't really been great friends, but I'm always pop flyin' to see a fellow inmate go free!
JUST KIDDING.
I then proceed to beat the living daylights out of Broom Thief. Chaos erupts in South Block, and many prisoners flee, fearing they will be sucked into battle. For some reason, a prisoner from West Block is here. He takes cover behind a potted plant.
What I found even more surprising was that Broom Thief no longer had the broom! Instead, some prisoner I had not yet encountered ran away with it. Just as I was about to chase after him, he reappeared. This is what he had to say:
His words do not faze me. All I can think of is "BROOM". This man looked nowhere near as tough as the real Broom Thief.
... And he isn't. I easily steal the broom from him. Still, he finds the nerve to threaten me.
I am unshaken in this new position of power! You'll have to excuse the overwhelming foreground element of bulging muscles and bad tattoos, but you can clearly see Fake Thief totally defeated and me with the awesome broom right???
After my sudden victory, I try to get my sweep on. Another foe of mine, Don King, interrupts me.
Don King, please! I may have a low intelligence stat, but even I know how to read a newspaper. You're in here for conning your fighters out of millions of dollars, like always. A pathetic man like you could do nothing to harm me, The Great Zangief! Now I suggest you slink away to your cell before you really make me angry.
DON KING! NO! I WAS WRONG! The guy must have been taking lessons from Muhammad Ali!
Just as suddenly as he appeared, he vanished. Don King, a man I now truly feared, had let me live, and let me keep my broom. I took this as a sign to stop all the violence, and start making some cheddar (And I did, look! I earned $5!)
It's not long before, yet again, I am interrupted. This time by a rather rotund Caucasian fellow with blond cornrows.
... Ladies.
If this was the Zangief from yesterday, he would have been worried. However, this is not the old Zangief. This is the NEW Zangief. This is the Zangief that solves night time mysteries! This is the Zangief that survived a punch from Don King! This is the Zangief that has a BROOM!
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I now know that 95% of the time, after someone has finished talking to you, they will immediately start punching you to emphasize their point. From now one, I will be the first to strike!
ZANGIEF PUNCH!
With one blow, I have subdued Cornrows! Before I can finish him off, Warden Smokey steps in, yelling:
So, this pathetic creature is called "Original G"? Well then, Original G, I will remember this...
... For when I am done running awaaaaayyyyyy! It's hard to notice, but what happens is that, for some reason sweeping is both physically and emotionally draining. Right now I'm pretty close to insanity, and if I lose my fight with Warden Smokey, I will definitely go crazy.
Luckily, a fight breaks out among the other inmates, and the Warden is forced to let me go. VICTORY! I know I'm risking a bit by sweeping when my happiness is so low, but I'm so close to breaking even, surely I can earn $10 before going crazy.
... Nope.
Alright, so I did cut it too close. Right now I am temporarily insane. I am now going to go around and beat up as many people as I can. That's not something I really want to do, but when you go insane, your character does not respond to the controls. I can only hope someone is able to keep me down until I gain back control.
Sure enough, I rush over to the person closest to be and beat them other the head with my broom. Crazy people are hard to beat up on their own, but with a crazy person with a weapon? That's a situation I usually flee from. I look on helplessly as Zangief bludgeons his opponent. Even Don King can only look on in the distance. Warden Smokey turns away, pretending nothing is wrong. I expect the worst, when suddenly...
Yes! Four Eyes gains the upper hand! Usually I'm not pop flyin' about getting my face punched in, but if it prevents more days getting added to my sentence--- Wait, who's that character in the background? Is that Broom Thief?!
Curse that scoundrel! He himself distracted Four Eyes long enough for me to recover! Now my crazed self has control of the situation! I stand over my opponent, ready to land the final blow! Why, Broom Thief?! WHY?!
... You bastard! This was all just a part of one of your crazy broom stealing schemes! Sadly, I am powerless to stop him, as Crazy Zangief is too preoccupied repeatedly punching Four Eyes in the face. I can't help but notice Warden Smokey making his way over, unable to ignore this behaviour any longer.
In my madness, I ease my grip on Four Eyes to listen to Warden Smokey. Four Eyes takes this opportunity to slip away. Smokey continues to berate me.
Surprisingly, I ignore Warden Smokey. I ignore Four Eyes. No, only one word echoes in the depths of my mind:
"BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM"
My movements are fast and silent. Broom Thief does not hear me approach, his mind absorbed in sweeping.
Taken by surprise, I land one of my famous "Zangief Punch!"'s. The foolish Broom Thief is stunned, and it looks like I have finally gained the upper hand!
But alas! It is not so! It seems Broom Thief is well versed in "Broom Kenpo" and overpowers me with ease. Content with his work, he leaves, broom in hand.
That will be a decision he will regret! With that last blow, he knocked some sense into me. I've broken free from the constraints of insanity! Finally!
Haha! Now, with sanity back on my side, Broom Thief is powerless! I quickly grab the broom out of his hand and....
... And he just kind of runs away. Huh.
OH GODDAMN IT! EVERY daisies TIME I GET THIS daisies BROOM, SOME daisies SCRUB SHOWS UP LOOKING FOR A FIGHT!
I WASTE NO TIME WITH PLEASANTRIES, AND RUSH HEAD-FIRST INTO MY OPPONENT
RRRRAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!!!
... Raugh?
Fake Thief (Yeah, that was Fake Thief! The guy I beat up this morning!) walks away triumphantly. In my bruised, beaten state, I find myself laughing.
He forgot to take my broom... HE FORGOT TO TAKE MY BROOM!
VICTORY!
I bask in my victory and sweep away until my health bar is nearly drained. Not only have I paid back my debt of $20, I've actually earned $50!
Ah, just in time, too! Dinner is being served! My time in Southtown is finally taking a turn for the better! Could it be that I've finally settled back into prison life?
...W....Wait... Fake Thief.... We had this conversation just this morning... Why are you... What...
WHAT IS THE MATRIX
I WAS A GHOST THE WHOLE TIME
I WAS IN A COMA THE WHOLE TIME
I AM TYLER DURDEN
MY LIFE IS ACTUALLY A TV SHOW
WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
I.... I get it. I finally get it. I get it. This is a game I can't win. I must lose. Don't you realize? I had that conversation with Fake Thief already. Then I kicked his booty all the way to next Sunday. So what did South Block do? It called a do-over. As Freddie Mercury once sang:
"Is this the real life?... Or is this just some Saw bullshit where the only way I win is by cutting off my arm or something."
I... I don't know what to do... I... Maybe I should to make a jailbreak or...
EVERYBODY OUT OF THE BRAIN! THIS ZANGIEF NEEDS TO DEAL WITH HIS HUNGER!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ab3XCYMLpEk
Man I hope they're serving Mac N Cheese in the canteen today.
To be continued...
♪Lu lu lu lu lu la la♪
-
HisanTakura
- Posts: 1887
- Joined: Tue May 04, 2010 2:28 am
- Location: Gettin wasted with Myk
-
Cori
- jackie chan jackie chan jackie chan jackie chan jackie chan
- Posts: 8249
- Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 6:45 pm
- Location: hella
- Contact:
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
...why is your health almost empty in one screenshot, then at like 40% in the next?
[8:18:42 AM] Joh Terraem: Cori, I've always found your encyclopedic knowledge of dicks to be quite charming and repulsive at the same time
-
Nancymaker
- Posts: 2424
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:19 am
- Location: Land of Neeps and Tatties
- Contact:
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
I propose the name of this LP is change to 'The Unending Broom Saga'.
Keep being hilarious! I love this stuff.
Keep being hilarious! I love this stuff.
Chopstix wrote:clone me is probs a lesbian so we're both barking up the wrong vagina
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
R1, R2, L1, CIRCLE, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP, LEFT, DOWN, RIGHT, UP.Coriserai wrote:...why is your health almost empty in one screenshot, then at like 40% in the next?
If you're talking about the sequence before and after the Canteen Announcement, I went to bed for awhile (look at the time difference).
However, that's not to say there are not cheat codes. I can boost and change every feature of my character. I do that when I get bored. I don't want to do that for Zangief.
Thanks, Nancymaker! Glad everyone is getting a laugh out of this!Nancymaker wrote:I propose the name of this LP is change to 'The Unending Broom Saga'.
Keep being hilarious! I love this stuff.
Will Zangief and the broom ever live happily ever after?! Find out next time!
♪Lu lu lu lu lu la la♪
-
BurntToShreds
- Posts: 9310
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 11:55 pm
- Location: Houston, Texas
- Contact:
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
Oh boy, the cafeteria! I can't wait to see Zangief flip out and hit somebody over the head with a tray? Is that even possible in this game?
Burn 'em to shreds, tear 'em to ashes.
-
electronic goat
- BAPHOMET
- Posts: 2218
- Joined: Sat Sep 26, 2009 2:36 am
-
Alexandy13
- Posts: 4828
- Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2009 4:50 am
- Location: The number you have dialed is no longer in service
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
Got this, keep dying though fights driven by insanity. Also, DO NOT PISS OFF THE WARRDEN WITH AN SMG! HE WILL MAKE YOU REGRET IT!
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
I downloaded Hard Time and...I can't seem to advance past the main menu. I've tried every key and nothing. Help?
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
This is wonderful.
And in the end, Zangief and Broom lived happily ever after.
And in the end, Zangief and Broom lived happily ever after.
-
Nancymaker
- Posts: 2424
- Joined: Mon Feb 22, 2010 2:19 am
- Location: Land of Neeps and Tatties
- Contact:
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
Making a push for the next page in the hopes of an update.
I'll probably download it at some point too... But it seems like it's one of those games that's more hilarious to watch than to play.
I'll probably download it at some point too... But it seems like it's one of those games that's more hilarious to watch than to play.
Chopstix wrote:clone me is probs a lesbian so we're both barking up the wrong vagina
-
scebboaliwiw
- Posts: 5647
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:33 pm
- Location: Califormania
Re: Zangief goes to prison: A Hard Time Let's Play!
I'm assuming that this game has no voice acting, but I'm trying to imagine what it would be like if the creator did try to get voice acting for it.