AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Woahshit Decker is alive

Ame no Akai wrote:Dude.

You can summon a bunch of chicks whenever you like.

How is this uninteresting my fucking god man

Quoted for truth.

I have had the ability to summon them for a while now.

It is just that, now, I can ask the ones near the throne to follow me.

I don't think they even can leave the Shivering Isles.

That does not stand in the way of losing your virginity.

Them not existing from the waste down on the otherhand...

Well, sitting on a throne doing nothing all day like Sheogorath did is actually really boring. I'm going out to do some god stuff.



It turns out that my ability to control the weather is a greater power. Meaning it can only be used once a day.

And it only lasts 15 seconds.

That kind of really sucks.



I use it and it starts to rain, as well as regenerates my health a little bit for 15 seconds.

Amazing.

Well, that was pretty much the one thing I got from being a god that sounded awesome. And it sucks.

Sigh.



While selling some stuff, I notice that I can sell the staff that enables me to be a god at all.

And the merchant would pay the same amount for it as he would for an apron.

I find this odd and disturbing.



Despite being the Prince of Madness and in complete control of the realm, everything is still trying to kill me.

...I get the feeling my status as "god" is one of those "in name only" things...



Oh well. At least it is a good name to only have.

...I wonder if my title gives me the ability to jump higher...



...Nah, that seems to be around average hei-



OH GOD THAT WAS ACTUALLY A CLIFF THIS IS VERY BAD VERY BAD INDEED

I live though.

I haven't been in this town before, so I talk to one of the residents.




Well, looks like something needs doing in this town. I suppose I should be the one to do it. I am the leader, after all. It is my responsibility to help those in need. And then execute them for having the audacity to order a god around.

I do the stupid conversation minigame until the weirdo trusts me.



...O...kay?

I find the guy she mentioned so I can give him the spoon.



...This just gets more confusing my the minute...



Oh boy I feel an assassination coming on




This sure sounds like an assassination!

I LIKE THIS DEVELOPMENT!



Kill what's-her-face and take the notebook. Got it.

This shouldn't be too difficult.



I find her running all over the settlement checking up on the two people I just talked to.



Well, that was fun. It has been a while since I last murdered someone.

...At least, I think it's been a while. I'm not really sure.



I tell him she's dead and give him the notebook.



He rewards me with a book that raises my destruction skill,



And a ring that sucks.




I reward them with immediate execution.

Who the hell did they think they are, saying they couldn't trust me? I am lord of the realm! I will not tolerate that kind of disrespect!



I wander around for a bit more until I come across another town. At least, my map says it's a town. It looks to me like a bunch of ruins.



Well, I certainly wouldn't want to live here.

Someone really should take care of this flood problem. The people of this town must be so irresponsible.



Man, this place is a wreck- wait what the hell is that a ghost



I suddenly see two ghosts. One that is glowing white, and one that is glowing green. They attack each other, and then the green one attacks me.



It was probably the worst mistake that ghost ever made.



Despite being ghosts, they are not at all immune to my punches.

Soon that ghost is naught but a memory.



However, some more green ghosts, who are apparently evil, and white ghosts, who are apparently on my side, show up.

THERE IS A FIGHT



Despite my assistance in the fight, the white ghosts refuse to talk to me.

Jerks.

I manage to find the door into the interior of the city/town/whatever but...



...Yeah, I don't think I'm going to be getting in this way.

That is a lot of chains.



Did you know that ghosts can be paralyzed?

I find that odd.



Anyway, there are some more ghosts, some more fights, blah blah blah.

In that particular picture I got knocked over and found myself face down in a puddle of mud.

It is not a flattering picture.



What's this? A cave entrance that appears to lead into the interior of the fort/town?

That'll do nicely



Of course, this cave is also full of ghosts. Only the green ones, though.

Unfortunately, those are the ones that hate me.



One even attacks me underwater.

What the hell did I ever do to them?



I find another door that I won't be going through anytime soon.



But, luckily, I also find one that I will be going through anytime soon. That is, now.



I am immediately approached by the ghost of some sort of count.

I am pretty sure that he is the first non-guard NPC I've met so far that has recognized me as the leader of the realm.

I'm probably going to help him out just for that.




...I'm going to expected to do something about this, aren't I?



...Sigh...

Is there any reason you could not fix these yourself?



Well, at least that's convenient. That'll make it easier for me to concentrate on the stuff you should be doing.



I decide to take out a torch since I won't be fighting. It will improve the quality of the screenshots.



I talk to a nearby ghost. Based on the generic name and one-line response, I'd say that this one isn't important.



This entire place is full of ghosts. Is there a word for that? Ghostful, or something? There should be.



All of these ghosts pretty much say the same thing.

Honestly, I think they are kind of over-reacting a little bit. It's not like everyone should be a soldier and fight. If that was the way it worked, most people would be dead.

...Okay, yeah, they all died anyway, but still.



Punches to the face don't seem to help these ghosts at all.

This saddens me.



I find an important looking glowing doll.

I take it.



I find what appears to be the guy in charge of the armory. I figure that he's probably one of the people that did something wrong, since it was a battle, after all.



Okay, he doesn't seem so bad this far.



...Wha-

WHAT

How did this guy get put in charge of the armory!? With management that bad, no wonder you all died!



I figure I need to get some weapons or something from him, so I pick the lock and head in.



He runs up to me and casts some sort of spell on me...



...which immediately teleports me back outside the armory.

I guess I have to be sneaky for this one!



I discreetly sneak back into the armory.

The guy somehow doesn't notice me despite the fact I am holding a torch and thus should be really noticeable.



The only thing here that looks important are these glowing arrows. I take them.



In another section of the fort/town, I find a bunch of soldiers guarding an entrance...



...while a bunch of fanatics come in through a different entrance, kill a bunch of people, and head into the fort.

Nice guarding there, folks.



What's this? A button?

MUST

PRESS



It opens a secret passageway. I'm not sure what the point of having a hidden door is if you are going to make the switch to open it so obvious, but whatever. It was probably just installed for the awesomeness factor.

I decide to talk to that priestly looking fellow over there first, though.



He tells me some stuff I already know.



I head into the secret room and find an important looking glowing dagger, which I take.



I head back to that area with the terrible guards. It turns out it repeats itself, and it is here where the mistakes are that I must fix.

The first mistake is this lady here, who is obsessed with counting, much like a certain resident from Split, and has no arrows.

I remedy this.



Well, the arrow thing, anyway.



Nearby, I find a different important looking guy. He wants more magicka. For some reason.

I give him the fancy dagger.




Wait what



He hits me with the dagger and takes all my magicka. He still gets killed in the endlessly repeating battle, though, along with the counting lady with the arrows.

Looks like there is still more that needs fixing.



Inside the fort again, I find the skeleton of a small child.

I wonder where they managed to find one considering that children don't exist in the world of the Elder Scrolls.



I head back to the repeating battle and find a different important looking character that I somehow missed. He is very concerned about his "betrothed".




So apparently this guy let a bunch of people die to save his betrothed, whoever that is.

I guess I have to do something about that.



I notice that I have the option to burn that one doll I found in a nearby fire for some reason.

I do so.



Apparently, that doll was his "betrothed".

That is more than a little bit creepy.



The repeating fight is much less in the favor of the fanatics, now.



Queston tells me to go talk to the count. I see no reason to argue.



You are the count.

You aren't exactly supposed to be the greatest warrior there is.

You are just supposed to be able to tell people what to do and handle taxes and stuff.

Calm down.



Wait, if I take your place, doesn't that completely destroy the point of me getting everyone to fix their mistakes and-

...Ah, what the hell, who cares, this way is easier anyway.



The helm looks like a madness helm. The people of this town must have been great customers for Cutter, that one smith who makes the madness armor and weapons.

I have no idea how I am able to see out of this thing.



Anyway, I head outside and fight the fanatic.



It puts up quite a fight, but in the end, it dies.



The curse is lifted.

Hooray. I guess.

I'm not quite sure why I bothered to do all of this. None of this was my problem.



Everyone soon fades aways, and the town is left empty.



The helmet is pretty good, but I prefer the magic boosts of the crown of Mania, which also has the advantage of being light armor.

I'll keep this helm in case I change my mind and decide to go with all heavy armor for a while or something, though.



Well, I'd say that was all almost entirely a pointless waste of time.



(I was hoping I could wrap up the Shivering Isles this update, but that ghost quest took way too long, so it looks like it is going to have to be two updates. OH WELL.)

That was....interesting. Cool helm, though.

I am so :fsjal:ing because I got Oblivion but I never bothered with the main story

<333

Murdering yaaay

Decker wrote:I am so :fsjal:ing because I got Oblivion but I never bothered with the main story

lol main story lol

Seriously, though, I'm going to take my time with the main story, so don't get too excited. I'll work on it a little bit at a time, or whatever feels best at the time.

It got the point where it was telling me to go into oblivion gates on my own and I was like "Nooo I need reinforcements"

The one outside Bruma was really goddamn confusing

EDIT: SORRY NOT BRUMA, That's the one with reinforcements.

The one outside the town you ask for help, Skingrad or something. It's at the bottom, in the west, but not the furthest west, the next-furthest-west


EDIT: The poxy assholes with the red armour

That's Skingrad. Or possibly Anvil, but most likely Skingrad.

...I'm just trying to get enough posts here so that the next update isn't on the same page as that behemoth I just posted.

I'll help

ZINK AM I DOING A GOOD JOB

OH BOY I HOPE THE NEXT PAGE IS SOON