Welcome Now to OBLIVION! An Elder Scrolls Let's Play.

[Fooflyer]

AND SO IT ENDS

[Zink]

It definitely is NOT ending.

I won't be able to update today, but an update tomorrow is DEFINITE. And the week after next week is a vacation, so you can expect A LOT of updates then to make up for all of this.

AND I MEAN A LOT

SERIOUSLY

YOUR HEADS

WILL EXPLODE

FROM THE SHEER AMOUNT OF UPDATES

(at least, the bandwidth on my photobucket account will...)

[Plasma]

A pretty anti-climactic ending if you ask me.

[Miss Starseed]

It is pretty anti-climatic when something ends but not really.

[Zink]

So, apparently, there was this door to a mysterious cave right behind Sheogorath's throne.

This whole time.

WOW



As soon as I enter, I see a gnarl. I immediately punch the daisies thing to death.

I think it is really sad how poorly kept this whole place is.

Really sad.



The only thing that seems out of place here is this funny-looking thing.



Well, that, and this vine door that has been completely corrupted by order.

I guess order really doesn't like doors.

...Still, I'm not going to be able to get through with those crystals there...



I go back to that funny looking thing form before and interact with it. It spawns a gnarl. For some reason, it doesn't attack.

I am okay with this.



It turns out that these non-aggressive gnarls are able to open these doors.

...I guess that gnarl I beat to death when I first entered was completely innocent, then.

WHOOPS



There are still plenty of the kind of aggressive kill-me-on-sight gnarls that I am used by now.

...I'm guessing the fact that they are glowing white means that they are corrupted by order, and that is the reason they are attacking me.

daisies, order's gotten surprisingly clever.



I find another amber matrix in a hallowed stump, but it's for a mace.

CURSE YOU HALLOWED STUUUUUUUMP!



Hey... is that... a priest of order?

Oh boy! Maybe it's Syl! I hope it is so I can kill her and become the true Duke of Dementia!



Awww... it's just a regular priest of order.

You just wait, Syl! I'll get you yet!



Anyway, somehow killing the priest makes all order crystals in the area magically disappear.

This is yet another thing I am okay with.



One of the gnarls I have to lead to a door gets stuck walking back and forth in one space, so I come up with a clever clever plot.



I punch it so it becomes aggressive, and then run like hell over to the door.

BEST PLAN EVER!



DRAMATIC CLOSE-UP!



When I get to the door, I turn invisible. The thing soon loses track of me, and decides to get back on track and open the door.

Mission success!

Since I am invisible for the time being, I decide to take advantage of this to get as far into the cave without being spotted by orderly-gnarls as I can.



And by that I mean "Be invisible for five seconds, see a hallowed stump, and decide to forfeit invisibility in order to open it"



Hey, more priests of order!

None of them are Syl, though.

I kill them and the crystals in the room disappear. This apparently cleanses the pool of Mania.

This is yet another thing that I am okay with.



You have no idea how boring it is to follow these guys.

They move so slowly

IT IS PAINFUL

PAINFULLY SLOW



Oh look, more priests of order that aren't Syl.

That's

just

DANDY



So, it turns out, as you can see by the "shard of order removed" message up there, I could have just opened those doors myself using shards of order from dead priests instead of waiting for those painfully slow gnarls.

I guess I wasted all that time for nothing then! Hahaha...

AJDFIOASDHGIOJASDOFIJNGHDASDFG RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEEE

ALL THAT TIME I COULD HAVE SAVED

ALL THAT TIME



Oh boy, more priests of order that aren't-

...Wait a minute...



Holy crap! Down there! At the top of those stone steps! That is Syl!

...Well, it looks like it is time for me to finally finish the job. The job, of course, being my hostile takeover of Dementia.

I decide to be careful by going into this fight strategically...



And by "strategically", I mean "lunging in head-first Charlie Friggin Manhuge style!"

COME ON YOU ORDER BASTARDS, LET'S SETTLE THIS THE BEAT-YOU-TO-DEATH WAY!




I ignore the pathetic underlings and head straight for the traitor.

TAKE THAT, DEMENTIA/ORDER/WHATEVER PIG!



Syl's down, but the battle is not yet won!



I chase down the rest of the priests of order and teach them a lesson about what it is like to be punched to death.

I figured the best way to teach them was through example.

I think they learned well.



Well, Syl's dead, the fountains or whatever have been cleared up, I'm the Duke of Dementia, and it will only be a few moments before I'm a goddamn god

Today is a good day!



I head out of the secret cave I never knew existed and talk to Haskill.



Godhood awaits!

I head to the fountain and activate it.



Oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy oh boy

...Wait, that's it? No explosion? No flashy effects?

That's it?

...Well, that's sort of anti-climatic. But at least I'm a god!



...Buuuut I still have do everything for everyone, according to this Golden Saint that just showed up out of nowhere.

...I may have overestimated how great this whole "godhood" thing would be...




Oh well, at least the Golden Saints are really polite to me, right? Plus, this doesn't sound like that big a deal. If it actually were a big deal, I'm sure this messenger would sound a lot more panicked. This will probably be a nice, calm, mission far away from here.



I head to the Golden Saint captain nearby and ask her what this small problem is.




WOASDIOSAHOIJG WHAT

THAT IS NOT A SMALL DEAL

THAT IS A NOT A SMALL DEAL IN THE SLIGHTEST

I WOULD DESCRIBE THAT AS QUITE A BIG, IMPORTANT DEAL



...Well, it looks like this is it. The final battle with order. A grand battle to the end, in my own courtyard. Life or death. Order or madness.

...I care not what they through out me. I'm ready. I have my staff of godhood, I have my inventory full of countless magical items, and, most importantly, I have my fists.

I am ready. It's time for me to say something I've wanted to say my whole life...



LET'S

GET

DANGEROUS

[Superior Bacon]

AAAAH YESSS <3333


i was having such a crappy day but this made it completely better <3333

[boq]

Oh Lord, that last screen is so epic!

[Mr. Mander]

LET'S

GET

DANGEROUS

YOU.

BEST PERSON EVER.

[Squigzog]

Zink you are awesome.

[Zink]

Well, I got my staff, I got my servants, and I got my fists. I think it is time to tell those order punks to get the hell off my lawn



CHAAAAAAARGE!

Wait where is everyone?

...I expected, you know, an army or something.

Not... nothing.



Oh wait here they come

BIG BATTLE



I use the staff I have.

Let's see what this thing does!



Everyone simply stops moving.

They bodaciously just freeze.

Completely.


...I think I like this staff




Of course, the way the forces of order are getting in are through those two order alters I pointed out a very long time ago.

Maybe, if someone, I don't know, listened to me earlier and did something about these things while we had the chance, we wouldn't be in this mess! But noooo! We had to do things the hard way!



I start punching a few knights of order to death.

There actually aren't all that many for a climatic final battle. There only seems to be around 3-5.



I also use the staff of Sheogorath again. Just because.



I doubt I will ever get tired of everyone freezing like this.

I am going to abuse the hell out of this staff.

...Assuming I don't get annihilated by the angry god that is bound to show up...




Anyway, I kill the only priest of order there is (you'd think they'd bring more than one for the climatic final battle, especially considering there is more than one alter) and shut down the two alters.

It is really easy to overload them since I had like 15 hearts of order in my inventory.

How anticlimatic! Seriously, this is all just so easy and boring! They call this a final battle!? I'm downright disappointed! The forces of Order should be ashamed of themselves! Why, if I were in charge of Order, I'd-




Wait what the hell why are all the knights of order being sucked into the sky through a glowing portal of doom

Did they destroy GLaDOS when I wasn't looking?



Oh hey look it's Jyggalag

He... uh... looks fairly rustled off.

And really big.

And wielding a sword that is bigger than me.

...Yeah...

...Well, I'm screwed.



He immediately starts giving me a beating unlike anything I had experienced before.

Wait, I know! I'll use the staff! That must be the way I can defeat this angry god! The staff will probably make him explode or something!



...Orrrrrr it will have absolutely no affect whatsoever.

...I do believe I just wet myself.



...Well, this isn't that bad, right? I just have to take down a giant, angry, sword wielding god of Order

with my bare hands.

...Okay, yeah, maybe it is that bad.



...I am considering not getting up again and just letting him kill me now.

It would probably be quicker that way...



...Okay... come on... I can do this... just have to concentrate... get him with a good right hook, then hit him with an uppercut...

Also not getting cleaved in half by his giant sword might help.



I am punching a god.

I am punching a god that is trying to kill me.

This is the most badass yet suicidal thing I have ever done.

...At least I'll probably get a legend or something about me once I'm dead...



Ugh. He just keeps doing damage, and my fists seem to do nothing. I can't heal as fast as he hurts!

Okay, you know what!? I've had it!

That guy thinks he can just teleport in to my realm in my palace and then walk all over my nice neat lawn?

NO

If I die, then so be it! I've come to far to give up now!

Jyggalag, prepare to learn what it is truly like to feel the wrath of Charlie Manhuge! No enemy has managed to defeat me yet, and that ain't about to change now!

PREPARE TO DIE, THE CHARLIE MANHUGE WAY



I'm actually doing it.

I'm actually fighting a god with my bare hands

and I'm doing damage!

I might actually have a chance!



Fighting Jyggalag, even with the help of a semi-cheesy "I will never give up" speech, is not easy.

He is one brutal fighter.



I think I have been hit with enough lightning from this guy to power a medium sized town for a week.



I am low on health, I'm running out of potions, and I can't use healing magic fast enough. I am not good condition.

Jyggalag doesn't look like he's doing so well either.

I just have to go in for the kill while I still have the chance



...I did it?

I DID IT!

I'M NOT DEAD

I MANGED TO KILL A GOD WITH MY BARE FISTS!

Haha! Let that be a lesson to all you so-called "immortal" deities out there, you mess with Manhuge, you die!



The body soon disappears.

That's a shame. I've always wanted to loot the corpse of a god.



...Uh...

...Why is there a glowing portal floating over my lawn?



I am not sure I like where this is going.



Jyggalag's head appears. He then gives me a whole bunch of backwtory I don't care about.

Due to the lack of subtitles, you guys can't read what he said. I'll summarize it for you.

Jyggalag had a great empire. He was conquering everything. The other gods were like "shit, man, I like my realm and he might conquer it" so they decided to make him insane

The end.

Anyway, by defeating him, I've ended the cycle and stopped the Greymarch and now Jyggalag can go frolic wherever he pleases without having to deal with re-conquering his own realm and only truly being himself during the Greymarch.

I guess that means I didn't completely kill Jyggalag, I only kind of killed him.

I feel slightly less badass now, but still, that's impressive, right?



The portal then vanishes.

...What a jerk.




He could have at least had the decency to clean all these bodies off my lawn. Look at this mess! It's going to take exactly three in-game days for these to get cleaned up!



I head back into my throne room. I do not recognize that lady in the dress right there.



Apparently she's a healer.

Since I'm still just a little bit sore from my battle to the death with god, I tell her to heal me.



Holy crap!

Look at the top right corner!

THAT IS A VERY LOT OF HEALING SPELLS

A VERY VERY LOT

Anyway, I decide to go talk to my magic butler. He probably has something to say right now.



"Matters"? I hope you don't mean I have to work or anything.



Ugh, duties I must attend to? That doesn't sound fun at all! I was hoping being lord of the realm just meant that I get to say "I'm a god" and sit in a fancy chair! I didn't expect to, you know, actually have to lead anything!



I can handle fights on my own. NEXT



Sounds dumb. NEXT



Sounds... really awesome, actually. NEXT



Sounds useful. NEXT



Aww, that's a shame. It would have been awesome to show off to everyone back in my old dimension that I had control of the weather.




Just let the armies do it. I have better things to do than protect settlements whose occupants were probably already murdered by me anyway.



I tell him I want entertainment. Just to see what the entertainment is.




A lady walks in, bows, and starts dancing.





The dance resembles someone drowning in slow motion.

Remind me to never request entertainment here again.



Enough of these shenanigans. It is time for me to approach my throne.

Also, where the hell were those guards right there when I was, you know, fighting the final battle with order!? Cowards.



Oh, look, they left some clothes for me on my throne.

That was very thoughtful of them.

...Whoever "they" are.



Well, here I am. After all this time, I've finally become a ruler of my own realm.

...Eh, it isn't as great as I expected.

[Zink]

NEXT TIME- KILLING EVERYONE IN THE REALM OF CYRODIIL

Right?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

No.

I have way to much to do there still.

Now, killing everyone in the realm of the Shivering Isles, that's much more plausible.

[Mr. Mander]

If you can't make it rain flaming dogs I will be disappointed.

[Trygve]

If you can't make it rain flaming dogs I will be disappointed.

Well, Odds can make it rain burning horses.

[Superior Bacon]

That was so badass aaah.

I LOVE THIS LP

[Decker]

OM NOM NOM DELICIOUS MOUSE CURSOR