Anyway, I head back to Sheogorath's Palace to find ou-
...You can't tell because there were no subtitles, but that Dark Seducer just called me the
duchess of Mania.
What the hell?
"After all"? Haven't I
already proved myself worthy? I'm certainly more capable than your cannon fodd- I mean Dark Seducers and Golden Saints.
Suddenly, I stop getting a close up of Sheogorath's face, yet I am unable to move. That usually means that an NPC is about to talk with a different NPC and I am supposed to watch.
Yep, I was right. There's a Dark Seducer (a male one, the first male to appear in this LP). He brings news about some sort of attack at some sort of place.
Also, I'm sorry, but
what the hell is he wearing?
I'm guessing that I'm expected to single handedly fight off the forces of order now, right?
Why can't your armies just handle something themselves for once?
I ask him where Jyggalag is, because I actually don't have any other choice of conversation.
PLOOOOOOOT TWIST!
Oddly enough this really doesn't seem to change all that much.
Anyway, I talk to the Dark Seducer.
OH BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO DO ALL THE WORK FOR THEM!
Seriously, though, what the
hell is this guy wearing? I mean...
what the hell? Why would
anyone wear something like that
on purpose?
What a weirdo...
On my way to Pinnacle Rock, I am attacked by
more hungers.
DAMMIT YOU GUYS I MAY BE AN ELF AND I MAY BE A VIRGIN BUT I AM NOT A GIRL! HOW LONG IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO GET YOU GUYS TO REALIZE THAT!? DO I NEED TO TAKE OFF MY PANTS AND SHOW YOU MY PENIS?
DO I!?
Luckily, Hungers can't swim, so I simply head across a lake to escape.
As I near Pinnacle Rock, I find some Dark Seducers standing outside the ruins.
Syl? I should have known!
...How does one go about defecting to the Forces of Order, anyway? Aren't the knights of order soulless abominations? How on earth are you supposed to join them when their leader is busy being the lord of Madness?
Why would they capture the captain, anyway? Do they have any reason to? Wouldn't it make more sense just to kill her and get it over with?
Well, I really must point out that I
have conquered Dementia. Thus, I
am the Duke of-
WAIT A MINUTE!
If Syl still lives, doesn't that mean that
she is still, technically, the Duchess of Dementia? Well, she isn't
really, but as long as she still lives I will be unable to call myself the Duke of Dementia!
Someone remind me to add "Kill Syl" to my to-do list.
Anyway, I head into Pinnacle Rock. Maybe Syl will be there.
Dead Dark Seducers are everywhere. These guys are
really terrible fighters, aren't they?
The forces of order are, obviously, everywhere.
However, thanks to the help of that one named Seducer and her two generic unnamed warriors, killing the knights is much less time consuming.
I would probably appreciate their help more if they didn't immediately turn on me after the first battle.
I have no idea why they are attacking me. Maybe they don't like me because I am the Duke of Mania, or maybe I accidentally punched them during the fight.
Whatever the case is, it is one of the worst mistakes they will have ever made.
I make short work of them. THAT, my friends, is why you
never betray Charlie Manhuge!
You can't really tell which bodies belong to the warriors and which were already there when I came in, though. Only two were the warriors I killed.
I beat the captain into a coma, too. When she regains consciousness, she seems much less hostile. She probably learned her lesson.
Once again, I am baffled by the fact that a
Dark Seducer base contains statues of nothing but
men.
Really, it makes no sense. Whatsoever.
A little while later, I find some male Dark Seducers.
Although they are fighting the order knights now, they were in the same room together before I entered. They actually didn't start fighting until I came in. Maybe they became friends or something or were having a conversation but when I came in they were all like "oh shit quick we need to start fighting or we will be marked as traitors"
As he looked at me and said this, he realized something.
I was male. And yet I was able to fight just as well as the females. He then started to wonder why this was. Perhaps, he realized, men were not as inferior to women as he had initially thought. He began questioning the entire way Dark Seducer society was built, and vowed to one day change this. He was the Mazken that started what became known as "The men's rights movement"
At least, he would have, if he wasn't killed by a knight of order almost immediately because male Dark Seducers are about as useful as brightly colored camouflage.
Male mazken are just embarrassingly terrible.
I finally find the captured captain. She is in a cage made out of crystals.
Chime? What chime? I don't see any-
Oh, it's over here. How the hell did I manage to miss this coming in? It's right in front of the daisies doorway!
Anyway, I ring the chime and the cage breaks.
Wow, you'd think
someone would have had the decency to tell them that Syl had defected. This all could have easily been avoided with better communication!
So, apparently, the wellspring is what the Dark Seducers (and presumably Golden Saints) use to come back from the dead.
I can see why they think it is so important. Not everyone is lucky enough to be able to abuse the grand magical force known as "the save function" like I am in order to avoid death.
However, Order has apparently made it to the Wellspring, as the two captains turn to stone or something.
Apparently turning off the wellspring does this.
...Yeah, I don't get it either.
Why do priests of order always try to run away? They should just accept their fate and realize that being punched to death is their destiny, and embrace it rather than avoid it.
You have to admit, it is definitely an
interesting way to go.
\
I'm guessing that weird pyramid thing is the wellspring. Or, at least, where the wellspring
usedto be before Order put a pyramid thing on top of it.
After destroying the nearby Forces of Order, I run around the room hitting chimes until the thing explodes.
Wow, the wellspring actually looks... really unimpressive.
Huh.
I can now summon both Golden Saints
and Dark Seducers! What fun!
Armor too? Wow, this is actually a really good day in the way of rewards!
Unfortunately, Syl seems to have escaped. Oh well. I'll just kill her another day.
Oh god.
This armor... it's so...
ugly
This is the kind of thing that, if you ever see your friend wearing it, you take a picture of them and post it on the internet for them to be laughed at for eternity.
It is that bad
Someday, I want to see an attack from order that can be held off
without me singlehandedly slaughtering all their knights with my bare hands.
