Now that Dementia is under my control, I may as well see what errand Sheogorath wants me to do next.
I see they have yet to clean the bodies off the castle courtyard.
Wait, what? They didn't even bother to clean up the bodies rotting in
Sheogorath's own throne room?
This city really needs a better sanitation department.
Anyway, it turns out that Sheogorath wants me to rebuild the gatekeeper.
Relmyna? Didn't I bottle her tears and use them to kill her "child"? And then sell them?
I kind of doubt she'll be pop flyin' to see me...
...Hey, just because it is true doesn't mean you have to hurt my feelings like that...
I journey to the ruins where Relmyna lives.
I am attacked by a shambles and what appears to be a mini-gatekeeper.
Although it isn't an
easy fight, I still win. However, I remember I need to get some repair hammers, so I journey all the way back to New Sheoth to get some.
It turns out that the loading screen hasn't caught on to the fact that
I'm the Duke of Mania.
Hey, guys, if any of you have time, I want you to photoshop slowpoke into that picture.
Anyway, it is nighttime when I return. This isn't important in any way, but I thought you should now.
The ruins are filled with shambles, which try to kill me, despite the fact that they probably belong to Relmyna and therefore should be on my side since we are both on the side of Madness.
BUT THIS GAME ISN'T THE PLACE FOR LOGIC.
I am also attacked by more Gatekeeper Jr. editions.
And hounds that have no skin.
In the ruins, there are many rotting corpses lying around, but some get up and attack me.
They are really,
really easy to kill. Also, they are called failed experiments, for some reason. You would think that zombies would be considered a success.
I come across a strange room with a gate for a floor and lots of buttons.
Through the floor, I can see a High Elf girl cowering in the center of some sort of room.
I find a scroll on a nearby desk.
So, apparently, this is all a setup for some sort of inhumane experiment. I only have a
big issue with this!
The issue, of course, being how it makes no
god daisies sense that a hunger would prefer a virgin elf girl over a ....un....virgined... elf girl! Why the hell do all these monsters in things like this like to eat virgins so much? Are they against abstinence-only education or something?
Also, why do these creatures like to attack
me so much then? Does Charlie Manhuge taste like a virgin elf girl? Okay, yeah, I suppose I am an elf, and I admit that I have yet to become... un...virgin...ated (it turns out that most girls are not, in fact, attracted to sociopathic murderers), but if there is one thing I am
not, it is a
girl.
Well, anyway, guess I may as well find out what those switches do. I go ahead and press the nearest one.
Turns out that was the "drop the test subject into a bottomless pit" button.
Whoops.
Anyway, I continue through the ruins, which, by the way, contain many sights that some would describe as "gruesome".
I find a room with a gate, behind which are two more gates.
So, wait, does this mean if I press that button I'll get to watch a shambles and skinned hound fight to the death?
Neat!
I press the button. The creatures come out and fight for a little while, but then they get bored or something and head back into their cages.
Weird.
I little bit later I stumble across yet
another test chamber. I wonder what sort of strange, most likely inhumane experiment is set up here?
So I get to see some reptilian monsters that have formed a brotherly bond tear a right noble limb from limb?
Awesome!
There's the breton, cowering in the water, somehow managing to keep his face submerged and yet not drown.
I hit the button to release the monsters. A single baliwog and scalon emerge from their cages.
They kill the breton
really quickly.
However, despite the supposed bond these creatures supposedly had, the scalon immediately kills the baliwog after the breton is dead.
Well, that was fun.
After a little while more of running through the ruins, fighting Relmyna's crazy pets, and seeing dead corpses everywhere, I finally find Relmyna herself. She's torturing one of her test subjects and taking notes.
As I expected, Relmyna is not pop flyin' to see me.
She tells me to get some magical artifacts necessary to rebuild the gatekeeper.
OH BOY, MORE RUINS TO EXPLORE, WHAT FUN
At least I get a key to easily get back in here. That's sort of nice.
Anyway, in this room, there are a bunch of test subjects in cages. Normally, this would be no big deal, but there are also
buttons!
I can't wait to find out what they do!
One cage is rigged with a dart trap, which kills the subject when I push the button.
This one has
two buttons. I decide to go with the lower one.
The subject is immediately struck with a magical blast of energy and killed.
The next is just another dart trap.
And the last is rigged with spikes.
Well, that was interesting, I guess.
OH BOY YOU GUYS, I HOPE YOU ARE READY FOR MORE EXPLORATION OF RUINS NEXT UPDATE!
