AWKWARD ZOMBIE

that guy with no pants had it coming to him.

well of course.

but the audacity of that particular pant-less man to walk around in CHARLIE MANHUGE'S presence, it's beyond sickening.

I was kind of hoping he would get caught at some point, honestly. I wanted to see what the crime system in the Shivering Isles is like.

Charlie Manhuge should begin the aggressive expansion of Mania by invading Crucible and imposing martial law. Kill everything.

Well, now that my business as Duke is done, I should probably go see what is going on with the Fringe.



Well, the outside of the gates of madness don't seem too bad. I see no order crystals anywhere, nor can I hear the screams of those being slaughtered by the forces of order! Maybe the armies of madness where able to fight off order and my involvement won't be necessary!



Woah

The parts behind the gates of madness... aren't exactly in as good a condition.



Order really did a number on this place... Crystals everywhere, and not a plant to be seen.



I find some Golden Saints in the town fighting off order knights. Oddly enough, all but one are male.

I help them fight kill the knights and talk to their captain.



Yes, yes, I heard.

Skip to the part where you tell me to charge into the enemy stronghold alone. We all know that's how this quest is going to go.




So the knights are coming from the spire?

The solution is simple, then.

BLOW UP THE daisies SPIRE!

Come on! It can't be that hard! There must be some sort of explosives or siege weapons in this dimension!




Why is it that I'm always the only one who is actually able to get stuff done? Can't you guys hold off a few soulless abominations that know no fear or pain without me?



Anyway, because I am the Duke of Mania, I control the jobs of the troops. I tell a few to wield swords, a few to wield axes, and a few to wield bows. Nothing special. I figure I'm going to have to do most of the work anyway.




THERE IS A FIGHT!



After a long time of killing forces of order, they finally stop coming. About daisies time.



Finally! We get to the point where I have to singlehandedly storm the enemy fortress and save the town!

I AM NOT SURPRISED IN THE SLIGHTEST!



OH BOY, I SURE LOVE DOING ALL THE ACTUAL WORIK

YOU GUYS ENJOY YOUR LITTLE TEA PARTY OUT HERE!



I attempt to visit a few of the houses, but oddly enough, the crystals seem to have formed in oddly specific ways that block the entrances.

Huh.



Anyway, I approach the ruins and-



- a crystal randomly pops out of the ground.

Well, the forces of order are definitely around here somewhere. Argh, I'm going to hate fighting my way through all of them. I wish there was I way I could easily get to the spire without having to deal with all those knights...

Hey, wait... I have an idea....



Ha! These order robes that I stole off a dead priest are perfect! I'll blend in perfectly with the forces of order, and this hood conveniently hides my face!

It is the perfect disguise!



Why, I bet that barely-visable knight in the back there will not suspect a thing!



Okay wait he is hitting me with his sword he is definitely suspecting a thing crap



At least he died easily.

daisies, how did he see through my perfect disguise? Maybe he saw me change. That must have been it! I'm sure the other knights will remain fooled!



For example, this knight here is probably completely convinced that I am a priest of order! He's probably just charging at me with his sword drawn so he can protect me or something!



Okay, I think this picture sums up how wrong I was about the whole thing.

Clearly, that knight had decided to defect to the forces of madness, and had attacked me thinking that I was a member of the forces of order, and he thought that, by killing a priest of order, Sheogorath would be more likely to allow him to join madness.

That must be it. I'm sure that I'll have better luck once I'm inside the fort!



The fort, unsurprisingly, looks like the inside of every other fort in the realm.

How original.



I am once again attacked by a Knight of Order. Okay, clearly, he noticed how I was in sneak mode when I entered the ruins, and thought that was suspicious, and thus decided to attack. I'm sure the rest of the knights will believe my disguise as long as I act more casual.



It looks like this fort used to have a Grummite problem.

Key words being "used to".



See? Acting casual worked! No one is attacking me now! Sure, you could argue that the reason no one is attacking me is because that no one is even around, but I say that's is only part of the reason!



Okay I am being attacked by a Priest of Order and his knights perhaps I was wrong



daisies, what could the issue have been that time?

...Oh, I know! I must have been acting too casual! This is a warzone, after all. The priest probably noticed that I was trying to hard to blend in, and attacked!

I'll fit in better next time!



That is a really nice statue of a hunger.



Yeah, I can't really take a good look at it because I'm being attacked by knights of order (who are clearly only attacking me because they saw my battle with the priest and not at all because they can easily see through my disguise), but still, it is really nice.



See? These priests and knights aren't attacking me! I told you my disguise was flawless!



Okay, yeah, I guess it's possible they are only not-attacking me because I am in sneak mode and it is possible they don't notice me, but that strikes me as really unlikely.



Okay, clearly the reason they are attacking me now is because they saw how close I was sneaking behind that priest and thought that I must have been trying to assassinate him! I don't blame them! Who wouldn't think someone is a spy in a situation like that?



My block rank goes up.

I am now able to do something I was already able to do.

Woohoo.



See? I told you my disguise was flawless! That knight is just standing there! Sure, he has his sword drawn, but he isn't chasing after me or anything!



Okay, maybe he slashes at me a bit when I get too close, but he's probably just claustrophobic.



Although he falls for my disguise (EVEN IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE IT) I kill him anyway. He is a member of the forces of order, after all. He's still my enemy.



After a while, I get close to the core, and am able to see it through a window. It looks really well guarded. I'm going to have to use all of my super spy skills to blend in with that crowd, and overload the core while nobody is looking. It will be hard, but-



-Huh? You? Aren't you the guy who claimed to be the mayor of Passwall? What the hell are you doing here?



...This hood completely conceals my face! How were you able to recognize me? You must be psychic or something!

And, for your information, I got past them using my extremely clever and totally-working disguise!




That's okay, I would have done the same thing in his situation. The only reason I'm not is because I have a god breathing down my neck. Also I have the opportunity to become a god myself.

Face it, order just has way cooler stuff.



Yeah, no. You'd totally blow my cover and expose to everyone that I'm not really a priest of order (WHICH IS SOMETHING THEY TOTALLY DO BELIEVE REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU MIGHT THINK). You can stay here and die like a good little NPC.



Good luck with that. I hope they give you a good epitaph.



Hey, that guy actually had a fairly nice little camp here.



I take just a brief nap and level up!

Honestly, at this point, leveling up probably puts me at a disadvantage.



You know what? Screw this undercover business. I'm sick of it. Trying to blend in is hard.

I'm going to do this the Charlie Goddamn Manhuge way!



GERONI-FRIGGIN-MO YOU ORDERLY BASTARDS!



I quickly punch the priest to death and shove hearts of order into the obelisk until it shuts down.

Unfortunately, I still have these knights of order to deal with.



Also the place is collapsing.

... I should probably get out of here...



I am being chased by a very large amount of Knights of Order and it is not fun.

Okay, that settles it, as soon as I lose these guys, I'm going to try to blend in again.



That weird looking cave entrance wasn't there before...

Oh well, it's an escape route, why am I complaining?



Only two knights of order follow me through that door, and they are easily dealt with.

I still have to escape, though.



Haha, that knight was crushed by rubble. It was funny.



Oh god I'm about to be crushed by rubble this is not funny



Clearly, the only reason that Knight of Order is attacking me is because he is panicking because of the place collapsing and he deals with panic by attacking people. Not because he sees through my disguise. Because

MY

DISGUISE

IS

PERFECT



Oh god there is falling rubble and there is lightning

This does not bode well for me



Oh, hey, I managed to escape.

I wonder how those Golden Saints' tea party is going.



By the look of all those dead knights of order, I'd say pretty well.



My "light had been lost"? What is that even supposed to mean?

Also, how can you recognize me with this order hood on? If anything, you should be attacking me right now!



So? Kill them.

It isn't that hard.



...Okay, fine, whatever. At least you aren't asking me to do all the work this time.



And so, the spire that threatened Passwall is destroyed, all thanks to me and my brilliant disguise!

Man, I am such a genius! My 80 intelligence really shows!

This thread made me go out and get Oblivion.

I hope you're pop flyin'.

Sleuth wrote:Charlie Manhuge should begin the aggressive expansion of Mania by invading Crucible and imposing martial law. Kill everything.

How the hell did you know I was planning to-

UH WAIT I MEAN NO THIS ISN'T WHAT I WAS PLANNING TO DO NEXT UPDATE NOT IN THE SLIGHTEST

NOPE

NOT

AT

ALL

zombiejesus wrote:This thread made me go out and get Oblivion.

I hope you're pop flyin'.

Have fun discovering it isn't nearly as fun as I make it look.

The disguise didn't work, you dumbass!


I mean, those NPCs have been in their places there for pretty much their ENTIRE LIVES, probably spending 95% of it talking about mudcrabs! I think they'd notice that you aren't one of them if you casually stroll up in a non-repetitive, non-pointless manner!

Plasma may be right.

If you had gone up to one of the Knights and started to discuss the latest deals at The All Saints Inn, I don't think they would've suspected a thing.

Charlie Manhuge is looking good.

Plasma wrote:The disguise didn't work, you dumbass!


I mean, those NPCs have been in their places there for pretty much their ENTIRE LIVES, probably spending 95% of it talking about mudcrabs! I think they'd notice that you aren't one of them if you casually stroll up in a non-repetitive, non-pointless manner!

Also I must point out that they haven't been in their places their entire lives because the forces of order are only just now invading the Fringe.

Unless of course I just didn't notice them the first time I went to the Fringe in which case that really says something about my observational skills.

Bacon wrote:Charlie Manhuge is looking good.

I thought you knew how to pronounce it.

So I decided to play Oblivion a while ago. It lacked sound and whenever you started a new game it would crash. I uninstalled it. Recently I re installed it. The problem remains.

After reading through this, I started playing Oblivion again (Namely, making a new game and starting over, since I screwed myself over so many times in my old game), and because of you, I now find it far more entertaining.

I think I like this thread.