AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Miss StarSeed wrote:KILL THEM BOTH

HACK THE GAME IF YOU HAVE TO

As Fooflyer and I said earlier, they both need to be killed eventually. This just decides who is killed first.

Mania is barely the winner.

Barely.

Well, guys, I hope you dislike stoned dork's with neat hats, because next update, one's gonna die.

i have yet to understand why you think that looking like a bee makes you cool

Well, Mania seems to be the winner. The stoned dork will be dead by tomorrow!

I tell Sheogorath about my decision.





Yeah, I'm really looking forward to that part.

It should be hilarious.



I have an intelligence of like eighty-something. I think I can outsmart a drug-addicted politician.



...Huh.

I just realized I have no idea where to get Greenmote, or how I am going to poison his food.

I know! I'll ask the magic butler!



I can't believe I don't use this ability more often!



...I can't believe I didn't think of that.

Thanks, magic butler!



I decide to talk to the Duke. After all, who spends their day closer to Thadon than Thadon himself?



...Well, okay, looks like I'm not getting any info off of him.

I decide to ask his advisor/assistant/whatever Wide-Eye.



Yeah, he's a decent leader, I guess. The people of Mania seem pop flyin' enough.

Of course, when I'm the Duke, there will be very few people unhappy. Even less than there are now!

Because you can't be unhappy and dead, you see.



OH GOD TOO MUCH INFORMATION

I DID NOT NEED THE MENTAL IMAGES THAT LAST BIT GAVE ME

THE LESS I SEE OF THADON, THE BETTER



So, Thadon already takes Greenmote, huh? Getting him to overdose should be easy, then.

I ask her about her daily routine, since I have the option to, for some reason.




I ask her the location of the silo



If that is the case, I will just have to discreetly follow you until you lead me to the silo! It will be simple!



I am so unbelievably sneaky.



I have to be the most discreet assassin ever.



I must be the greatest investigator in the world.



She activates some sort of statue that causes a secret passageway to open up.



This must be where the Greenmote is!



Wow, it looks like a generic cave down here!

WHAT A SURPRISE!



I'll probably need to sneak by some guards, so I decide to change into my Dark Brotherhood outfit.

IT MAKES ME SNEAKIER



I was right about guards. The tunnel is full of Golden Saints. Unfortunately, I can't just kill them, since these Golden Saints are considered guards, unlike the ones in the ruin. Attacking them would just get me a bounty.



Oh god a golden Saint is right there I'm gonna get spotted



...Or not.



Uh oh here comes another one I'm screwed



...Oooooorrrr she will just walk right past me without noticing me at all.

...Well, I'm not complaining.



I find a strange mixing bowl in a hallowed log.

Queston seems to think it is important.

Queston usually knows what he's talking about, so I should probably donate this mixing bowl to that museum when I have the chance.



Deep in the cave, I find an strange doorway.

This must be where that drug is!



Oh, hey, look, Wide-Eye is down here.

How inconvenient for her.



Sorry Wide-Eye, it's nothing personal, but I can't risk having you spot me. Thanks for the help all those other times, though.

Also why the hell do you have so little gold on your corpse I expect more than that when I loot a body



Anyway, I get a few doses of Greenmote, and sneak the hell out of there.



However, I now have to break into a different part of the castle so I can poison the Duke's food before it is served.



Although the passage is well-guarded, there are plenty of nice dark corners and gaps for me to hide.



There's Thadon's food. Just sitting there. Getting cold. With no one around.

...His chefs must suck.




Anyway, I poison his drink and his food with way more Greenmote than is medically recommended.



I then sneak the hell out.



I shall be attending the Duke's dinner today. I wouldn't want to miss the show, after all.

I decide to change into more fancy attire so that I don't look too suspicious or out of place.

Charlie Manhuge is one classy guy.



I wait until around 8:00 P.M. and then sit at the table. The duke eats a little bit, drinks a little bit, and then gets up to recite a soliloquy

This is gonna be good...



Annnnnny second now....



Looks like the Greenmote is kicking in. Thadon appears to be in a lot of pain.



The other guy at the table stands up to get a better look at the whole situation, but doesn't do anything other than stare as his leader slowly dies of poisoning.



Thadon looks at his servant and reaches out for help, and the guy immediately starts cheering for the Duke's amazing performance.



It is not long before Thadon is dead, never again to recite soliloquy, take drugs, or talk about his sex scandals.



That doesn't stop his servant from cheering for his dead body, though.



Well, no sense just standing here, I'd better get to looting the body.



Wow, it turns out that nice hat he has is actually an enchanted helmet! Although it isn't exactly the best in the way of defense, it has some really good enchantments. I kind of need that magicka boost since I don't wear my apron anymore.



Plus, I think it looks good on me.

It makes me look more duke-ly.



On my way back to Sheogorath, I take a nap in a beggar's bedroll and level up.

My endurance stat is but one point away from being 100!



Woah, it looks kind of different in here. Looks like everyone is all ready for the ceremony.



I approach the alter.



I then put Thadon's blood into a bowl



Which bursts into flames



And then the flames explode.

Wow.



I am a Duke now!

I NOW HAVE ACTUAL POLITICAL POWER

OH BOY SO MANY RESIDENTS OF BLISS ARE GONNA BE DEAD NOW

I mean, I am the Duke, I do have a right to execute them. I mean, yeah, the guards might get angry, but that's only if they see me.




Sheogorath is about to tell me something (which was probably going to be awesome), when suddenly, Syl bursts in.



She is really angry that Thadon is dead. She calls Sheogorath a foolish leader and announces that she will defect to the forces of order. She also mentions that the Fringe is being attacked by said forces of order.



Oddly enough, Sheogorath just lets her go.

I wouldn't if I were him.

I ask him why.



Basically he let it happen because it never happened before.

That's the kind of logic I should expect from the god of crazy.




Must I do everything?

...I guess I really don't have a choice. Fine, fine, I'll go slaughter the forces of order. But I'd better get a reward for it.

...I mean, there isn't really anything I could do about it if I don't get a reward, since you are kind of a god at all, but I'd... be... upset?

Also, I got a few rewards for becoming a Duke.



I got a really useful ring,



And the ability to summon a Golden Saint once a day for 60 seconds.

Both of these are incredibly useful.



Well, anyway, I guess I should check out the Fringe.

...Well, maybe I'll abuse my power just a little bit before I go...

hat looks like a beetle

Yes yes abuse it

Hat looks better than that terrible glass crap

i never said it looked bad





i said it looked like a beetle

I think it looks like a beetle too, but in a good way.

charlie is now a heracross

Zink wrote:I decide to talk to the Duke. After all, who spends their day closer to Thadon than Thadon himself?

This is disturbingly close to Sheogorath logic.

YES

THE HAT

YESSSS

See: My sig.

I say that the heavily-armored beetle man should abuse the hell out of his power before saving the Fringe.

i got my first touch of rage spell. Haha ha ha oh god.