AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The person I killed was the yellow champion, and arguably the toughest arena opponent in the game.

The guys that porkchop killed, although they were armed, were pit dogs, the lowest rank of arena opponent in the game.

I think I come out on top here.

Oops. I was confusing this fight with that Argonian duel thing.

Never mind my previous statement.

I rest up for tomorrow. There is going to be a BIG fight, and I want to be as ready as possible!



I talk to the blue team guy again. What a nice guy! I was about to talk to the yellow team champian again but then I remember that she is dead and my day gets just a little bit better.



The Gray Prince is still being all emo about the vampire thing, but he can just suck it up and deal with it because HE HAS A VERY IMPORTANT MATCH AHEAD.

I have to talk to the battle matron to get the match started, though.



Yes, I've gotten myself into a fight. It is something I do all the daisies time. Can we hurry this up?



Okay, if want to know how the rules are different, I am now allowed to wear whatever armor I want and loot my opponents corpse.



Raiment of Valor? Sounds like an interesting piece of enchanted equipment that is both impressive and useless.



Now I have to choose a name! It can be whatever I want, as long as it's on the list of options I have to choose from. Hmmmm... what should I pick...



I decide to go with the Messenger of Death because it combines two of my favorite things: killing people and mail.

But enough formalities, for it is time to fight!



It's time for the match of a lifetime! The Gray Prince charges towards me and...



...Does... Nothing....

...O...kay...



I try punching him in the face to get him to fight, but he doesn't. I decide to try talking to him.



...Really? REALLY?

You want to die JUST because your father was a vampire? He wasn't even that bad of a vampire either! It's not like his journal was about all the people he's killed for their blood or anything! ARGH, I CAME HERE FOR A FIGHT, NOT AN EXECUTION!



I attempt to use touch of rage, but that doesn't work. I mean, it technically works, as he started glowing red, but it didn't work in the sense that he didn't attack me.

Touch of rage is starting to become outdated, anyway. It only affects those up to level 18, and since I am level 21, pretty much everything is a high level than that.



Well, I suppose I am just going to have to beat him to death without him fighting back. *sigh*



The crowd goes wild as I slay the Gray Prince, despite the fact he clearly wasn't fighting back. This crowd would probaby cheer at the gallows.



No one seems to have any issue with me stripping their former hero nearly naked and taking all his stuff.



The Battle Matron is very impressed that I have one the battle. Because repeatedly punching a man who is doing nothing but standing still is incredibly hard and amazing.



This means I'm better than all of you! Huzzuh!



The Raiment of Valor looks terrible, has crappy stats, and is worth a lot of cheddar.

I won't be keeping it for long.



It was, my not-friend-anymore.

It was



I think I get enough of that traveling from town to town. I think I'll pass on this one.



As I leave the arena, Mr. Ugly Hair here asks to follow me around. I decide to let him. He might make a good distraction for a bear or something, plus I could always just kill him if I'm in a bad mood.



As I'm buying and selling some stuff, I notice something in the back of the alchemists shop.

Nirnroot

I only need one for of these things! However, that shopkeeper is always watching me, and Martin and the Adoring Fan will probably get mad if I kill her in front of them. But, luckily, I have plan.



First, I head up the stairs. The shopkeeper follows me a bit, as the shopkeepers are programmed to always keep an eye on you.



Then, I quickly dash downstairs and grab the Nirnroot before she can return. Now I have all the Nirnroot I need for when I return to Skingrad!

Anyway, I decide my next destination should be Cheydinhal. I start heading there right away.



I encounter a small town on the way, called Bell's Gate. I head into the inn, because I haven't slept in a proper room in a while.



Oh my god.

That is the tiniest face I have ever seen in my entire life. That is downright disturbing! I... I... think I'll leave now. I don't want to rent a room anymore.



Outside, I see some sort of hunter-lady wearing a very valuable looking glass helmet.



It looks pretty good on me.

She also had some valuable arrows and bows, so I now have some stuff to sell when I make it to Cheydinhal.



I figure that, while I'm killing people, I may as well get rid of that Adoring fan. He was beginning to get annoying.



WHAT IS THIS A BEAR I DON'T LIKE THIS ONE BIT



THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR BEING A BEAR YOU STUPID BEAR.



As I continue on my journey, I notice that Martin is really angry at me for some reason. He just keeps glaring at me. Maybe he's finally starting to realize that we aren't actually going to Weynon Priory.



Like trolls, Spriggons are one of those enemies that just don't pose a threat anymore.



I finally arrive at my destination! I'm so glad I made it to- Wait, does that sign say Bravil?



Godammit!

Cheydinhal is east of the Imperial City!

I went south!

AAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGH

The Grey Prince was the worst battle ever.

If you don't do the vampire quest he puts up a fight.

Did you seriously have any trouble in any of the arena matches? I completed everything in the arena without healing myself mid-battle once, before I hit level 15.

Doesn't the difficulty scale with the level?

Zink wrote:

CHARLIE MANHUGE, meet BRENDA MANHAIR

Bacon wrote:Doesn't the difficulty scale with the level?

Yes it does. I too could probably do the arena at a low level without healing, but ONLY at a low level. That's why I had so much trouble with the battle for Kvatch quest. What was supposed to be a large amount of scamps becomes a nigh-unstoppable army of deadroths and spider-things.

Also, the Gray Prince would have been disappointing even if he had fought back. Due to a bug in the programming, he is permenantly set at level 10, even though he is supposed to be 10 levels higher than the player.

Aren't all whiny emos permanantly set to level ten?

Bacon wrote:Doesn't the difficulty scale with the level?

Yup, in some hideously bad game design referred to as Empty Levels, whereby levelling up tends to benefit your opponents more than it benefits you! It'd be easier to beat the arena on a low level than on a high one.

Exception being if you take an utterly Munchkin route to levelling and skill selecting.

Oh right I forgot about that. In that case I'll just shut the hell up and sit over there.

I honestly don't mind the leveling thing. It makes the game more interesting, plus you still at least have the pleasure of ahnihilating enemies that used to be a threat with only a few punches, like what happened with trolls and spriggons, even if there are newer, tougher enemies to replace them.

Plus, with a game like Oblivion, level scaling is the only way it could work while remaining balanced and challanging. Think of leveling less of a way to get tougher, and more of a way to better customize your character.

Okay, looks like I have to go all the way back in order to get to Cheydinhal. How could I make such a stupid mistake!?



I decide to cut across the river. I'm not sure if it's actually faster due to the slightly reduced speed of swimming, but whatever.



I find some more Nirnroot. I don't think I even need any more of this stuff, but whatever.



Down the road, I find an Imperial Guard fighting a minotaur.

He wins.



More down the road, I find a bandit that has an axe that lights me on fire. I think it says something when your first reaction after being lit on fire isn't "OH GOD I AM BURNING ALIVE THE PAIN" but rather "I CAN'T SEEEEEE"



I finally make it to Cheydinhal, for reals this time!



There are a lot of trees here for some reason. It's actually a really nice looking place.

Anyway, I have to find some sort of adbandoned house or something if I want to find the Dark Brotherhood.



This looks like the place. Somehow, I am able to open that door by just picking the lock despite the fact that it is clearly boarded up.



In the basement, I find a door that looks to be made of pure evil incarnate. It asks me the question, I say the password, you know how these things go.



And beyond that door is... an assassin! What a shocking twi- actually, wait, no, that was completely expected. Never mind.



Oh boy, I can't wait to see who I get to kill first! I hope it's not a bear, BECAUSE I HATE BEARS SO MUCH YOU HAVE NO IDEA.



A unique set of armor? Oh boy, I hope it is like those badass robes Lucien was wearing! Those were awesome!



Well, that's uh... different than I expected. I mean, I guess skin tight dark outfits make sense for a stealthy assassin, I suppose, but it kind of chafes my booty a bit.

I decide to talk to a few of the other members to see what they have to say.



...That's... uh...

...I'm not even sure what to say to that.



I find a high elf and an orc discussing assassination tactics. The elf is trying to convince the orc that stealth is the way to go, but the orc finds it more fun just to run in and kill people.



I'm glad he did, Gogron.

I'm glad he did.



Oh god that is another very tiny face what is wrong with you people seriously.




So, you decided to join the organization that tried to kill you? That's probably one of the stupidest ideas I've ever heard. Ever.



That's okay, I'm used to people hating me. I had a very high infamy for a while, but then after murdering a bunch of people legally for other's entertainment in an organized competition, people started to like me more.



Despite the fact he hates me for no reason, this guy sells some pretty interesting spells. The actual affects are nothing speical, but they have some really badass names. I even buy a few that I technically already have just because I like what they are called so much.



Well, I suppose I should get my mission from that guy now. I've done enough socializing.



Yes, yes, I heard, Mr. Clearly-A-Vampire. Let's just skip to the part where I get to kill someone, okay?



That's okay. You'd just end up with a stake through the heart if you attacked me, anyway.



Yeah, no. Sure, some of the bonuses seem cool, but honestly having to constantly look for sleeping people to take blood from and being hurt in the sunlight sounds like a real pain in the booty. Plus, I have heard you get horrible nightmares and I need my sleep so I can level-up.



Oh boy, pirates? Sounds like a blast! Pirates are interesting!



Marie Elena? That sounds familiar...



Oh! Now I remember! That was the name of the ship that had all those pirates that I killed, way back when I had just gotten out of the Imperial Prison! So I have to kill the captain now, eh? I couldn't find him before, but hopefully I will find him this time.



Or I could just walk on board because I already killed his crew. A long time ago, actually. I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet.



I take a brief nap and level up again. Huzzuh I guess.

Anyway, before I go, I talk to some of the other assassins again to see what they have to say.



That sounds fun. I like messing with people.




You
BASTARD

"The Messenger of Death" is my arena name! How dare you steal it like that! I'm pretty sure the battle matron even had it copyrighted! I should sue you for this! I'm pretty sure that wouldn't defy any of the tenats, either! You're just lucky I have yet to find a good lawyer!



Well, anyway, I'd better head to the Imperial City. It's time to kill some pirates!

Maybe he likes killing people and mail, too?