AWKWARD ZOMBIE

slaughter the entire town

Fooflyer wrote:slaughter the entire world

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fcbazH6aE2g

Oh boy, I finally have enough stuff to get rid of my bounty! Huzzuh! Time to head back to the Imperial City.



On the way there, I run into to a bandit. Normally I wouldn't bother taking a screenshot of a fight like this, but I needed an excuse to show off my badass new golden gloves. Seriously, look at those things. I would not want to get punched with those!



There's the Imperial City. Here's the plan. I'll charge in through the Waterfront, make my way to the market district, sell all my stuff, head back to the Waterfront, use Moonshadow to become invisible, then head the Garden of Darecloth and wait for that one guy who can get rid of my bounty to show up. Simple.



Is it really necessary for me to show this anymore?



No. No I don't need blunt weapons or axes. Or weapons of any kind. At all. Now shut up and buy my stuff or I will slit your throat.



YES

THAT IS MORE THAN ENOUGH cheddar TO BUY MY WAY TO FREEDOM

HUZZUH!
Of course, I still have to make it back to the Waterfront, AND escape the guards.



Wow, look at all these guards. It's like they know this is their last chance, so they are sending everything they've got.



Seriously, look at all of them. It's very conveniently fitting that all these guys show up the day I finally become not-wanted.



However, no amount of guards can see the invisible! Haha!



Just after I become invisible, however, I am hit with an arrow. This makes it appear that an arrow is simply floating in midair. Luckily, the guards are too stupid to make the connection between the invisible guy and the floating arrow.



I also find some more Nirnroot. I'm just stumbling over this stuff wherever I go, aren't I?



I make it to the Garden of Darecloth without being detected and wait until midnight. What's-his-face shows up. OBOY THIS IS IT GUYS.



YES YES TAKE THE 8000 OR SO GOLD DO IT



YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!



Oh boy! I can't wait to start my newfound not-wantedness!



I am running in front of a guard without being arrested!



I am talking to a guard without being arrested!



I AM JUMPING OVER A GUARD WITHOUT BEING ARRESTED!



...O...kay...

...I think I should stop bothering this guy now.



I stay at that one boat/inn place I saved from bandits until morning. Then, it's off to the market district! I am going to SHOP!



There I am, strolling through the market district in broad daylight, with nobody trying to arrest and/or kill me! This is THE BEST DAY EVER!



I head into a few magic stores and buy some really neat spells. I bought a spell that lets me shoot ice, a spell that binds an inredibly powerful helmet to me for a short time, a spell that lets me light up the surrounding area, a spell that lets m open a very easy lock, and a spell that lets me enrage people. The enrage one is particularly interesting, because, correct me if I'm wrong, it essentially allows me to kill whoever I want without consequence. All I need to do is use the spell on them, and then they will attack me and I will be able to kill them without penalty, since, technically, they will have started the fight. Unfortunately, I need level 25 illusion to use that spell, so I won't be able to use it for a while.



I head into an alchemy store to buy some ingredients. I go ahead and ask the lady there about the Nirnroot. She tells me to ask some guy in Skingrad I don't care about. I'll keep it in mind if I ever go to skingrad, although, honestly, I don't seem to be going anywhere except the Imperial City and Chorrol. I should fix that sometime.



Before I leave, she tells me to visit another alchemy store in the area. Because advertising your competition is a great business strategy everyone should use because it is great and will make you a lot of cheddar.



I start spamming some of my spells for now reason to get some of my lower magic stats up. However, I am now low on cash, what with all the bounty-paying and spell-buying recently. I need some way to get some cash, that doesn't involve heading into some old ruin (because I am REALLY sick of that). However, it would be nice if it involved killing people. But HOW will I make cheddar like that?




And then, like a conveniently placed poster on the wall of a city, it hits me...

The Dark Brotherhood!

No, wait, I still have no idea where the Inn of Ill Omen or whetever is. I can't join the Brotherhood now, I guess.

Oh, look, a poster for the arena. That'll do nicely!



So, this is the arena. A place where brave men and women train hard, and then kill each other for no reason other than fame and cash.

It's definitely my kind of place.



"Bloodworks" eh? Sounds fun! I can't wait!



I decide to cast my "bound helm" spell before going in. I think people will take me more seriously when I'm wearing this thing!



So this the "bloodworks", eh? I expected more... I don't know... blood?



I decide to talk to one of the nearby training fighters. He seems pretty nice to me for a guy who knows that we are probably going to have to fight to the death.

Apparently people call him "The Grey Prince" because he is only half-orc. He also decides, like all good NPCs, to tell me his life story for no good reason whatsoever.






Yes, yes, you had a hard life, everyone hates you, blah blah blah. I really care except for the fact I don't at all. Really, shut up.




Obviously, after his long, pointless speech, he tells me to do some errand for him. Argh. I see no reason why I should-



-... Combat techniques you say? Well, I am always up for learning new ways to kill people. I'll keep your little errand in mind!

Anyway, I decide to talk to the guy in charge down here. I came to the arena to kill people for cheddar, and that's what I am gonna do.



We've just met and you're already threatening physical violence?

I think I like this guy!



Dude, my name is Charlie Manhuge! That means I'm a man, I'm huge, and that I can kick booty. Deal with it.



Rules? You mean you don't just walk in and kill people? Argh, why does everything have to be so complicated?

Anyway, he offers me a light uniform or a heavy uniform. I decide to go with light.

I go ahead and try it on.



...That is the dumbest thing I have worn the entire Let's Play. What the hell were they thinking when they designed that thing? Probably something along the lines of "Hey, I think that we should make the light uniform unbelievably ugly".

Also, Charlie is really scrawny for a guy who beats people to death with his fists. I'm not sure if that makes him more badass or less badass.

I head over to Owyn again and resume the conversation.





To summerize: "Pretty much anything goes, but remember, people of a different color must be killed"

That racist bastard.



Aw, man. I bet my opponents will have really valuable stuff, too. Why does everything fun have to be against the rules?



Red room eh? I wonder what that's li-



Oh my god so much blood it's everywhere how did this even happen how is this possible.



Why are there bloody handprints here this isn't even the arena oh god what sort of horrors have occured here don't they ever clean this place

(Also, that light spell I bought is REALLY convenient for when I need to take screenshots in dark places!)



So, this is the arena. Nice place. You can't hear it, since this isn't a video LP, but there is an announcer speaking over a loudspeaker despite the fact there clearly isn't the technology for that kind of thing.




THERE IS A FIGHT



Despite being barehanded, I easily immerge victorious! You know, I can't help but think that someone like Charlie would become really famous in an arena like this. Think about it: people would walk in with expensive shields and giant swords and then Charlie would just win anyway with his bare hands. He'd be famous. He'd probably make a lot of cheddar from merchandising. They'd be Charlie Manhuge T-shirts, shoes, beverages, pencil sharpeners, and even Charlie Manhuge SOAP.



Honestly, I'm not surprised he ws so doubtful. If I saw I some guy go unarmed in a place like this, I would start arranging his funeral. However, Charlie Manhuge is not some guy!



He only gives me 50 gold, which seems like a really small amount considering I killed someone for it. Hell, it's a really small amount for anything, really.



So, this is what the arena is like.

...I think I like it here.

The more people you kill the more cheddar you make!

It's like a job but with killing!

Get staff of worms, use on defeated arena opponent and hey presto you can steal their stuff.

YAY LOOPHOLES!

Yes but that involves doing the entire Mages guild quest which takes a long time and involves being noble.

not exactly noble.

You also get a cool staff, which with mr. manhuge's level, becomes very powerful.

Being beaten to death by Charlie Manhuge is the best death ever. Lucky bastards.

All these Let's Plays do is just make me want to play the game.
This is completely different for video lets plays, however.

Fooflyer I am not sure whether you mean that in a good way or in a bad.

Anyway, I decided to divide up the table of contents into chapters. The chapter names (NOT the update names) are kind of sucky, though, so let me know if you guys can think of anything better.

What does the Staff of Worms do

Decker wrote:What does the Staff of Worms do

It resurrects the dead as your slaves.

Well, no reason to stand around doing nothing, I'd better get back to fighting!



Oooh! And they'll even pay for my funerial if I die! This place just keeps getting better!



This is my next opponent. His sword is made of glass, yet it somehow doesn't break on impact and does a lot of damage.



Luckily, I am still able to deflect it with my bare fists.

Somehow.



ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST



A hug? Why would I want a hug? That's just crazy Yes I want one so very badly I am sad and lonely please be my friend.



Despite the lack of hugs, I decide to sign myself up for yet another match.



This guy has a bow. A really weak bow.



A REALLY weak bow. I am able to just slowly walk up to him while he hits me with arrows without having to worry about dying.



He retreats into a corner, and I destroy him.



See all those arrows sticking out of me? That is what victory looks like, son!



It turns out killing Wimpy McWimperson allowed me to advance rank. Huh.



I take a short nap on one of the bedrolls before my next match and level up.



Somehow, I doubt this guy will ever think anything I do is good enough. I'd say screw him but I've already previously stated I like the guy, so for the sake of consistancy I'll forgive him this time.



This is my next opponent.

He is not a small man.



His size doesn't seem to do much other than allow him to leave a slightly bigger corpse behind, though.




Wait, two against one? How is that fair? Hell, how did those sisters even manage to arrange it so that they fight together? I doubt they just walked in and said "Hey, we want to compete in the arena, but we want to be able to team up on our opponants, kay?". Maybe they're related to one of the organizers or something.



These are the twins. One of them attacks with a big ol' two handed sword, and the other shoots arrows. I try to position myself so that the two handed sword one is between me and the one that shoots arrows.




My strategy works pretty well, and I manage to take the melee-attacker out.



The bow-wielder starts backing into one of the entrances. However, the door is locked, so she can't escape and ends up just trapping herself.



And so, I have won the completely unfair two-against-one fight. Seriously, that match was REALLY unfair! It should have at least been FIVE against one to give the other team a fighting chance!



Holy shit, he just congratulated me. Dammit, you're supposed to be the stereotypical "nothing is ever good enough" kind of guy! Get back in character!



I try to enter another match, but the arena closed. daisies.



Luckily, they have these crappy beds all over the bloodworks, so I just sleep until morning.



I waste no time in entering my next match.



The match was so boring that I'm not even going to bother showing you anything other than my opponent's corpse. Why are all the rank-raising matches so easy?



I am now a "bloodletter". It sounds fairly badass, I guess, but a little over the top.



I enter my next match. My opponent is this guy.



He ends up being really tough! I am soon forced to stop punching and instead retreat while spamming spells!

Also, ice spells look REALLY boring. Seriously, with fire spells you shoot a ball of fire and set your opponent ablaze, with lighting spells you're shooting electricity out of your fingertips, but frost spells? You shoot a tiny ball of what appears to be fog, while flies to your opponent and makes them glow a little when it hits.

I'll have to buy a more exciting looking spell when I have the chance.



Despite its crappy appearence, my snowball spell is enough to bring my foe down. Huzzuh!



Sounds like an interesting match! I may have to resort to using magic again, by the sound of it.



There's my opponent. I never noticed how short shortswords are until now.



She has, by far, the manliest chin I have ever seen on a woman.

Ever.



Despite her description as a "heavlily armored wasp", she actually did very little damage. She didn't take that many hits, either.



Oh, cheddar, how I love thee.

I have built up a little over one thousand gold. It's not all that much, but I've been fighting for a while now, so I figure I may as well take a break and head over to the market district.



It's nice not to have to wear that ugly as hell raimant anymore!



I decide to head over to that other alchemy shop that madame Bad-Business-Strategy was talking about.



And... he does the same thing. Huh. Maybe they are secretly in business together, and they think that having two separate shops will get them more business or something.



After buying some ingrediants and making some potions, by alchemy rank goes up. YES! Now I have a greater chance of finding an ingrediant that can restore my luck.

By the way, if you want to hear my progress on that, I managed to get my luck back up to 15. Still REALLY low, but it's higher than what it was when that curse first took effect.

I also buy a few more spells. I can't remember what a lot of them were, so I guess that weren't that special. The only one I can remember is the bound dagger spell I bought (Don't worry, I won't fight with it, I will only use it to train my conjuration stat, as, unlike with the bound helmet spell, I am easily able to put away and then re-summon the dagger, resulting in more EXP).



I have to say, I really like the bound stuff. It looks really badass. Hopefully, I will come across some Deadric stuff (basically the permanant versions of the stuff) sometime in my travels.