AWKWARD ZOMBIE

You know what I said about always wanting no more than one update on a page at a time?

Well that is why I am posting now.

Zink your update better have massive amounts of watermelons.

Zink wrote:You know what I said about always wanting no more than one update on a page at a time?

Triple post is 100% forgiven

I hate having to load more than one update at once because it takes too long :<

so is charlie going to ride off into the sunset on a steel horse or die with his brothers?

Well I was planning to update like right now but WHOOPS can't sorry.

You'll have to wait for tomorrow.

It's a good thing you have Nameless with you, Zink.

I would hate to see the Staff of Worms wasted on guards.

By "tomorrow" I meant "almost a week".







BEST HOUSE EVER.

...Still, it did cost me quite the pretty penny. That daisies shop owner sure overcharged.

I should probably go kill him in retribution.



Whelp, time to barge in and murder this guy.

Although, I'll probably use a frenzy spell so I don't have to worry about witnesses, so I guess it won't technically be a murder.

It will still be a murder in my heart, though



Okay, shop owner, prepare to receive a beating like no other.

...Hmm, even with frenzy, I should probably get that Nord woman to leave. With how poor I am now, I don't want any chance of a bounty.





Wait what okay

I guess this works too.



As I said, I'm really poor right now, so I only end up giving her 73 gold.

She doesn't seem to mind.



NOW WHERE WAS I



Doop doop dee doo

Gonna kill a guy

Dee doo


That is my new murder song




BAAAAAARRRRR FIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHHT!

Wait this isn't a bar. This is a shop.


Good enough for me!



The fight soon ends up outside.

It is not pretty. Unless you like fights, of course.


I do.



For some reason, everyone seems to be trying to repeatedly kill Martin. I'm sure this is completely unrelated to the fact that I frenzied him to get him to take part in the murder of the shop keeper.

Completely sure.



Casualties so far:

1 helpless beggar
1 greedy shop keeper



Martin is still being repeatedly beaten unconscious. Even the maid I just hired is attacking.

After he falls unconscious, everyone walks away.



Then he gets back up



And this happens.

...Hmm, I should probably see how my maid is doing. I paid her 73 gold. It would suck if she were to die before she even reached my mansion and all that gold were to go to waste.



Holy shit that looks painful.

See, this is what happens when you give incompetent guards bows. If it were up to me, guards would be armed with nothing.

Then again I guess I am a bit biased.



Good thing I have a "heal other" spell on me.



There we go. Now, hopefully, my 73 gold won't go to waste.

I head to the mansion.



It turns out that my "servant's quarters" are actually my basement.

Huh.

I talk to my maid (who oddly enough appears to have equipped a bow) and she starts rambling on about herself.




Uh, that isn't exactly the sort of thing you are supposed to share with your employer.

It isn't very professional.



I'd pretend to care but honestly I don't even give enough of a shit to do that.



Yeah, sure, whatever. Just... try to be a little less irritating.




It suddenly begins to dawn on me that the reason she equipped a bow for no apparent reason was because she had an arrow. You know, the one that was impaled through her intestines.

That's somehow awesome and incredibly disturbing at the same time. I probably should have been a bit nicer to her. Maybe.



I think I'll take another look around the house. See if there's anything interesting. Like, I don't know, golden desks or diamond chairs.

You know, something that would justify the insane price of the furniture.



Hey, look, there's a mounted deer head in my bedroom. You know, so I can lie to guests and make them believe I am an awesome hunter.

...Come to think of it, it is a bit odd how there is that weird space up there.



I feel the need to climb up and investigate.



What's this? A mysterious scroll?

Intriguing!





There appears to be a note from a thief or something addressed to his wife about some treasure.

I must to the responsible thing and find this treasure for myself.

I MUST SEARCH EVERY SINGLE CREVICE AND NOOK IN THE AREA



Well, if it is hidden anywhere, it is probably the basement. I'd better start searching and-



Wait, is that garlic hanging from that ceiling support?

Uh, why?

Is there a vampire problem here or something? I already have vampire wards. I call them "my fists".



Huh? What's that up there? An hourglass?

THAT MUST BE THE TREASURE



I get the treasure from the hourglass. It is a ring that I expect would be really good for a bow-wielding sneaky sort.

Shame I'm not one of those.



Well, enough of these house shenanigans! I have a Mage's Guild to attend to!




And by "attend to" I mean "cast frenzy spells everywhere so I can loot the expensive daggers off of the dead apprentices and scholars so I'm not so poor anymore".

Best maid ever.

That ring :'(

zink has gold yaaay

Zink, HEy Zink, Zink.



She's all yours for only 150G

Badfish wrote:Zink, HEy Zink, Zink.



She's all yours for only 150G

She corrects herself in the next image.

It isn't funny to make fun of when the game acknowledges it.

I have an idea.


Lead a will-o-wisp into town.

Look at chaos.

???

Profit!

Can I be Charlie Manhuge when I grow up?

666th post get!