I think I'm going to give the Punch Misers the day off today. I certainly need a day off. I've done a lot these last few months. Why, if my adventures were to be chronicled in some sort of "update" type format, I'd say there were already 99 of them done. I guess that would make this one the 100th. Huh. I guess that's special. Hypothetically special, I mean.
Velwyn, unfortunately, refuses to stop following me. Oh well. I guess he can just spend the day with me.
I'm going to take a nice, long nap. It's been forever
since I last slept.
Gee, I sure hope nothing unusual wakes me up out of nowhere while I only get a few hours of sleep-
...This... is not the sort of thing I'm used to waking up and seeing.
Ah... yes... good day... me...
...This is really awkward...
...Uh... thanks for the rumors... me....
...I'm... I'm guessing this is just a dream. Yeah. That's probably it. Just a dream.
I, uh, already knew that, me.
...You... you don't act a lot like me. At all.
...I'll just be going now...
Well, that was weird as hell. Probably just some fan impersonating me or something. Oh well. I'm sure he'll go away in ti- OH SHIT THERE'S ANOTHER ONE
THERE IS A CHARLIE MANHUGE INFESTATION IN MY HOUSE AND I DO NOT LIKE IT
AHHHHH THERE IS ONE IN THE KITCHEN TOO
THIS IS NOT A GOOD DAY
I MUST FLEE THE HOUSE BEFORE-
Oh my god. There's... there's so many of them...
Flee! I must flee! I must flee before it is too late!
AND THEY KEEP MAKING SLIGHTLY RUDE COMMENTS AT ME
I'm surrounded! I'm... I'm just not safe!
Aha! Higher ground! I'll be safe up here!
Now I just have to wait up here.
...For the rest of my life.
...What am I doing? Why am I just waiting up here like a coward
? I should be doing something about this!
I'm going to go done there and teach me a lesson about
... being... me... *Cough*
Okay, first off, I don't talk like that, you impostor clones or whatever the hell you are.
See, a good
Charlie Manhuge would be fighting to the death with everything around him.
Let's see how well you can pull that off. Here, I'll even give you a frenzy spell to get you started... heh heh heh...
Oh god chaos
I think... I think they are all teaming up.
Violence and bloodshed.
Look at those guards attempting to keep the peace.
...At least they are showing bravery in the face of certain death, I guess.
Hey, wait, those clones are using daggers
! They aren't like me at all!
...Still, I really don't want to mess with these guys. There is a very lot of them...
ic flies across the town like machine gun fire. Summoned minions from hell swarm the streets, bringing death along with there impostor masters.
This is both the most amazing and most horrifying thing I have ever seen.
...I wonder if this is what it looked like when Kvatch got destroyed...
These guys work together like a well-maintained army.
... I can't help but think this whole thing was planned in some way...
Oh god spiders
...Wait... being my clones, these guys only have access spells and items that I already have...
...Does that mean I could have been summoning these things the whole time?
That is the sort of thing I wish I knew earlier
Oh well they are probably useless anyway.
I attempt to punch a few of the clones to death, but these guys can really
take a hit.
I decide to just back off.
What's going on? These clones are clearly
going after something! I'd better run ahead and find out what!
Wow, they are all attacking one
Imperial Legion Forester.
...This may very well be the first time I have ever felt pity for a guard.
I don't think I have ever seen so many dead guards in one place before!
Well, except maybe for that one time I made that awesome pile in Bravil.
Those were good times...
stand a chance against these guys!?
Anyone at all!?
I attempt to use the Staff of Sheogorath (while also wearing my Black Hand robes so as to distinguish myself from my clones) to slow down a few of the clones.
It works, but only a little bit.
There are bodies everywhere
And none of them seem to belong to any of the clones
OH GOD WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE
...The clones have seemed to calmed down a little bit.
I... think I will take advantage of this opportunity to look at the bodies. See who's dead and whatnot.
There are certainly a lot of guards scattered all over the place.
None of them breathing, however.
There appears to have also been a large amount of civilian casualties.
Oh god the clones are attacking again
As if there wasn't already enough bodies
They don't feel pain. They don't feel mercy.
Bruma is dead.
More civilians appear. They don't run. They're probably too shocked.
Oh hey look "too shocked" makes a pretty good unintentional pun because one of them is getting hit by a lightning spell.
How about that?
Soon, however, the rest of the clones start swarming the civilians.
I don't have time to make sure, but they are probably as good as dead.
They appear to be focusing
on the civilians now.
...I think... I think they want
Some of the people try to fight.
That would surprise me if it weren't for the fact that it was established many times
that everyone who isn't me is a complete and utter idiot.
They really have something against Bruma.
It appears as though the Punch Misers have taken notice of this chaos.
It's about goddamn time
Not that their presence makes much of a difference. People are still getting slaughtered.
...Man, I would probably love
watching this if it weren't for the fact that these clones creep me out so much
It appears as though these clones have changed their armor, for who knows what reason.
I'd better take another look at the bodies. Who knows how many new ones are here?
It appears as though almost everyone in town is dead.
But fear not! Because the clones have had their fair share of casualties too! Gaze upon the amazing-
man that they have lost.
...Oh god we are all going to die
There are still seve
ral more guards around. They make a valiant, but futile, last attempt at defending the town.
Martin, Jauffre, and a guard have all started to try and punch each other to death.
I am okay with this.
IT IS THE CLONES THAT BOTHER ME
One of the guards takes a break from the whole "fighting to the death with an unstoppable army
" to try and arrest me. I resist arrest. It's not like he's going to be able to stop me, what with the huge army of clones trying to kill him.
Anyway, I make sure he won't be able to try and arrest me again.
Uh... Martin, Guilbert, what are you doing?
This isn't the time to punch each other unconscious. We kind of have an emergency here.
Okay. Fine. Whatever. Keep punching each other.
I don't even care anymore.
The clones seem to have stopped killing everything... not there is anything more to kill...
Their armor is a strange mash-up of everything I have in my inventory. They begin acting disturbingly, even robotically
The clones stand evenly spread out amount the town, standing still, holding torches.
Ongur (at least, I think that is what his name is) appears to be the only citizen of Bruma still alive. He wonders the streets, probably wondering to himself how this could have happened.
...I think the clones are in control of Bruma now. The way the killed everyone, and the way they seem to "guard" the streets now... This was clearly a hostile takeover.
...A strange force of... of... who-knows-what has impersonated me and taken over Bruma.
I've had some strange things happen to me but this just takes the cake
Well, I'm certainly not going to be their next
victim! The Punch Misers and I flee the city, and we have no plans to return anytime soon.
THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST DAY OFF EVER