Welcome Now to OBLIVION! An Elder Scrolls Let's Play.

[Decker]

You can add things to your on-demand library as you record them.

I have robot unicorn attack in my on-demand library because why not

[Badfish]

You do know you'll have to go against Charlie's morals for this one right?


don't read this children, unless you want to have your dreams crushed.
You have to use a bow in the quest

[Zink]

You do know you'll have to go against Charlie's morals for this one right?


don't read this children, unless you want to have your dreams crushed.
You have to use a bow in the quest

A bow is not a blade.

Also I'm pretty sure Charlie has used a bow before. I know he's used staffs.

Besides, it's not like he's fighting with it. He's just shooting at a keyhole.

[Zink]

Hey, it's around 5:30-ish, so I'm just gonna leave this link here:

www.livestream.com/thereisafight

That's my livestream. Although I will start streaming now, I will not start streaming Oblivion until 6:00, which is around 20-30 minutes from now. I'll probably just play "I Wanna Be the Guy" or something for 30 minutes to entertain those of you that come early.

[gigoergong]

Yaay.

[Zink]

Oh my god that took so long.

This will probably be the longest update ever guys.

Just letting you know in advance.

[Topazshot88]

Oh, for the love of.

Why do I keep missing streams of things. Argh.

[Decker]

It's alright

It should be on On-Demand


Not whollely exciting. TODAY I LEARNT THAT IT'S REALLY ZINK THAT MAKES THIS LP FUN

[Zink]

We find Manhuge where we left him last:

Being told what to do by the Gray Fox



Sounds like a stupid generic cave dungeon-type place.

Oh boy



Wait, you don't know what it is? I thought you said you had this heist all planned out! I don't have time for detective work, I have a palace to storm and a scroll to steal!





At least he gives me some useful items.



The blind priests again? Didn't I already kill them all?




Blindfolded? Aren't they already blind? Isn't that kind of redundant?



You're.... you're waiving the blood price!?


THIS IS THE BEST HEIST EVER

OH BOY SO MANY PEOPLE ARE GOING TO BE DEAD THIS IS THE GREATEST I FEEL A SONG COMING ON BUT I CAN'T SING IT BECAUSE THIS IS ONLY TEXT



I head into the Imperial Palace (which is that huge tower in the middle of the Imperial City) so I can activate the "Glass of Time".

The guards warn me that trespassing is a serious offense.

Little do they know that trying to arrest Charlie Manhuge is an even more serious offense. One that is only punishable by immediate murder



This room has a whole lot of pointless crap in it.



At least the "Glass of Time" had the decency to be huge, obvious, and labeled.

I activate it by... doing... something... and then leave the palace.



...This is the sewer entrance I am supposed to take?

I doubt I can even fit through this!

...Ugh... I guess I have no choice... I'll just suck in my stomach, I guess...



I really hate sewers. They are dark, dirty, and, despite being under a crowded and supposedly well-kept city, full of things that want me dead.



Where does this water even come from? What is this water even for? There isn't a single toilet in Cyrrodil!



And why are there zombies in the sewers!?



Okay, look, the occasional zombie I can understand, but a lich!? what is a lich even doing down here!? Shouldn't he be, I don't know, commanding undead hordes and burning villages or something?



For god's sake, there are even vampires!

They really need to get a better sanitation department down here.



At least the zombies have the decency to become paralyzed occasionally. It is very considerate of them.



...There is a manhole that leads to sewers...

...In the sewers...

...I'm not even going to bother trying to make sense of this...



I finally find the very obvious entrance to the old way.

"Oh don't mind me I'm just an obvious wooden door in the middle of a sewer made entirely out of stone I don't lead to a secret passage or anything"



Oh boy, ruins.

I sure can't wait to see what horrors are going to be trying to kill me here.



The tunnel is haunted, I see.

Grand



Holy shit, undead are everywhere.

Maybe that lich back in the sewers just had gotten lost finding his way to an undead convention because that is clearly what this is



Holy shit, it probably would have been safer to just storm that palace outright than take this daisies tunnel.

I have never seen so many undead before in my life.



As I get deeper into the tunnel, I start finding these strange stones.

I don't know what the hell they are, but whatever, I'll take them.



This room looks really important.

I have a feeling I am getting close to the entrance to the palace.

FINALLY



Those statues look important. And suspicious.

Suspiciously important.



I do a whole bunch of complicated shit involving looking for some dumb buttons, and finally I am able to get to a magic pressure plate that causes the statue in the middle to turn around.

Apparently, the keyhole is in the statue, and I have to fire the arrow of extriction at it using a bow.

I do so, and I somehow pull it off despite the fact I have never used a bow in my life.

I AM PROUD



Well, I'll just head over to the opened passage and-



Oh god the statues are coming to life why does everything want to kill me so badly why why why



Huh. It turns out even evil enchanted bloodthirsty statues can be killed.



I get attacked by another one, and kill that one too.

I guess I can now say that I've killed statues.

I am not sure whether that is a thing to brag about or not.



Well, times-a-wasting, I'd better head into the imperial palace through this secret passageway.



It turns out the secret passageway leads right into the guards' quarters.

...This is probably the most poorly thought out heist in the world...




I take this opportunity to murder all the guards in their sleep.

I've never really had the chance to murder palace guards before. It is like a whole new flavor of guard-murdering.



Now I just have to stealthily make my way through the palace...



WHOOPS



Looks like I'm actually going to have to fight my way through the palace.

That was kind of what I was planning to do anyway, though.



Turns out palace guards are just as unable to take a hit as the regular kind.



Another guard soon approaches. Except... he doesn't do anything. He doesn't try to arrest me, doesn't attack. He just stands there. Staring.

Anyway, I punch him in the face a few times. He yells something along the lines of "BY THE GODS, THERE'S A PSYCHOPATH ON THE LOOSE"




And then he just falls over.

Completely still and rigid.

It was absolutely hilarious.



He gets up again, but I make sure he falls down again. Permanently, this time.

I continue through the palace, killing the guards as I come across them.



Oh? What's this? An art admirer!?



That'll teach you to admire art over your post!



Soon I make it to the library.

It is filled with blind priests.



They are actually very easy to sneak past.

I guess that's the kind of thing that comes with being blind.



Apparently, the inability to read doesn't.

Seriously, Brethesda, blind people can't read. At least make it look like you're TRYING to make these guys seem blind!



I sit down in a chair.



A priest then gives me the scroll.

Well, that was easy.

T...There is a reference I want to make here, but I probably shouldn't... oh, what the hell, I'll do it anyway.



THE Celia RUSE WAS A... DISTACTION

i HAVE the scroll



Well, now that I have that over with, back to your regularly scheduled murder!

Hey! Priest! Stop reading that book! Do you know what you should be reading? I'll give you a hint...



It's my fist! Haha!




I silently move through the library, taking down the priests as I go.




I then move to the halls and start taking out the blind people there.



I even get the ones that are asleep. NONE IN THE PALACE SHALL SURVIVE THE MANHUGE INVASION



Wait... what the hell am I doing!? Why I am sneaking around!? I don't want to be remembered as the guy who silently moved and killed everyone without anyone noticing! I want to be remembered as the guy who stormed the palace, killed everyone, and took the elder scroll by force!



COME ON, BLINDIES, LET'S DO THIS THE CHARLIE MANHU- err, CRYSTALHEAD FISTMAN WAY!



THAT GOES DOUBLE FOR YOU, GUARDERSON MCDICKFORBRAINS



Evangeline Beanique, eh? She's the personal guard of Chancellor Ocato, if you don't know. Great as that position may be, she stands no chance against my fists of fury

By the way, if I ever see Chancellor Ocato, remind me to make fun of him for having to be protected by an old lady.



Attack me all you want with your swords and you magic, you cannot take me down! I've already killed every single living person on the last three or four floors, and I certainly plan to do the same here!




Well, that settles that then.



I believe this is -well, was- the office of Evangeline. She has a pretty nice office.



For some reason, my quest marker is leading me to her fireplace.

That doesn't make a lot of sense to me, but WHATEVER



Hey, her fireplace leads to the old way! ...For some reason...

Well, here I go! I hope this isn't too small...



OGOD THAT IS A LONG WAY DOWN CRAP CRAP CRAP WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO



Oh, hey, I lived somehow.

Neat.

Now I just have to find my back out of the ruins/sewers!



Of course, it would help if there weren't vampires randomly trying to kill me!



Oh, hey, that reminds me, I contracted that one vampire disease back when I had to steal the boots of Springheel Jak.

Good thing I remembered so I can take a cure disease potion and not become a vampire.



The city guard should really do something about all these vampires, someday.

I feel like I am doing their job for them.



Thank goodness that vampires die so easily.

Anyway, I manage to find the nearest exit to the sewers. It leads to the basement of the store known as The Best Defense.



Lucky for me, the shop is empty.

Now I just have to carefully sneak out. I don't want to get spotted by anybody, especially considering how high my bounty is right now. I did, you know, just singlehandedly storm the Imperial Palace, kill everyone inside, and steal a priceless artifact.

Lucky for me, Armand is more than able to take care of that little problem with my bounty. I then head back to the Gray Fox.



Why does this man say "capital" so much I mean really




Wha-?

I just pulled off the greatest heist EVER and you are already sending me on another errand? For god's sake, I just singlehandedly stormed, not infiltrated, STORMED the most important building of the most powerful empire in the land!

I THINK I DESERVE A BIT OF A BREAK!

Oh well... it isn't like delivering a stupid ring is all that hard.



Her reaction? Oh, I get it! This is a prank! Haha, I see what you are trying to do! You want to celebrate our victory with a good laugh!

Well, I'm certainly okay with this! I can't wait to see the look on her face when... err... whatever the prank is, happens.



There's the countess.

This is gonna be good



...Uh...

This... doesn't seem like all that good a prank...



...I... I don't get this one. I mean, I might just not understand it, but this seems like a pretty bad prank to me.



What?

Gray Fox, what are you doing here?



...

Okay, now I am even more confused.



I still don't get it.

This may very well be the worst prank in the world.



I STILL don't get it.

I mean, what, are you just pretending to be her long lost husband or something? That's not exactly laugh material. That's just gonna make her depressed.

I mean, I'm not saying that can't be funny, it just usually isn't.




Is all this weird bullshit about the Cowl the prank?

Does she even know anything about the Cowl?



This doesn't seem like a prank at all!

Why, I'd say this sounds more like a pop flyin' ending or something!

pop flyin' endings are not good pranks!



What? This isn't a good prank either! I'm just gonna murder you if you turn out to be lying about this!





...Okay, this has gone on for so long that I am just maybe ready to admit that maybe this wasn't a prank the whole time and I was just being stupid.

Maybe.

Well, if the old Gray Fox wants to give up his life of crime to go live a pop flyin' life ruling Anvil with his wife, that's okay with me. At least I get this neat cowl! I'm going to go ahead and try it on...



Woah woah woah wait a moment there, you're choosing death? That doesn't seem like responsible guard behavior to me! Aren't you supposed to, you know, say like "YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL" or something and only use violence as a last resort!? I don't think you have the authority to just execute me like this! I mean, sure, I probably would have resisted arrest anyway, but still, that's just wrong!



Goddamn, now everyone is trying to kill me! Oh well. Since the Cowl is enchanted so that no one associates me with the Gray Fox, I'll just take it off and yield to them. I won't be in trouble, because they'll see me as a completely different person, so I should be fine!


...At least, that's what almost happened. I took off the cowl, but when I blocked in order to yield, a guard hit me, and I auto-counter punched him in the face.

I am now wanted for assault.



FUUUUUUUUUUUUU-



Screw this, I'm out of here!


BREAKING NEWS

THE INFAMOUS "CRYSTALHEAD FISTMAN" UNMASKED HIMSELF RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COUNTESS AND RECENTLY RETURNED COUNT OF ANVIL. WE NOW KNOW THE TRUE IDENTITY OF THE FISTMAN. IT TURNS OUT THAT THIS MASKED MURDERER WHO KILLED PEOPLE WITH HIS BARE FISTS WAS ACTUALLY THE UNMASKED MURDERER CHARLIE MANHUGE WHO KILLS PEOPLE WITH HIS BARE FISTS

IN RETROSPECT, THAT PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE BEEN OBVIOUS TO US BEFOREHAND

OFFICIALS ARE NOW MOVING ALL OF THE "CRYSTALHEAD FISTMAN"'S CRIMINAL RECORDS INTO CHARLIE MANHUGE'S CRIMINAL RECORD. SOURCES SAY THAT THE IMPERIAL GUARD RECENTLY HAD TO PURCHASE A SMALL WAREHOUSE IN ORDER TO STORE MANHUGE'S ENORMOUS RECORD. SOURCES ALSO SAY THAT THEY ARE ALREADY LOOKING FOR A NEW LARGER WAREHOUSE.



Goddamn it! I can't believe I unmasked myself in front of everybody like that! They may be unable to associate me with the Gray Fox, but they are sure as hell capable of associating me with the Crystalhead Fistman!

...Ugh... I guess I no longer have any use for that disguise... *sigh*... I kind of liked it, too. It made me feel mysterious and badass...



I swim far away from Anvil Castle, to the coast near the lighthouse, where the guards can't find me.

At least I managed to escape, I guess. I'd fight them all off, but I'm a bit worn out from, you know, fighting my way through the Imperial Palace.

...Well, I suppose I should probably check out that Guild Hall that is now there...

...Although technically I suppose, due to the enchantment, it was always there, it just wasn't always there ten minutes ago...

ARGHH! This is confusing!



So, this is the entrance to the Thieve's Guild Hall.

You'd think they'd have something more subtle than something this fancy. There's even plants surrounding it!



At least the place looks rather nice.

And hey, Armand is here. I can even conveniently take care of that bounty on my head.



Well, I suppose that ends my Thieve's Guild shenanigans.

...You know... I think I'm going to go find Martin. I think there is a place where should go.

That's right. We are going...


...To Weynon Priory.

[Odds]

oh snap

[Shoolis]

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

[Superior Bacon]

...that is a really anti-climatic ending.


BUT AAW YEAH MAIN QUEST

[Zink]

...that is a really anti-climatic ending.


BUT AAW YEAH MAIN QUEST

Er...

Sorry?

What should I have done?

[Superior Bacon]

oh no, i meant the quest end! that's not your fault.

[Zink]

Oh okay.

I was a bit worried for a moment there.