THIS IS AN IMPORTANT NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT!
THE "CRYSTALHEAD FISTMAN" HAS BEEN SPOTTED IN BRUMA. HE WILL MOST LIKELY END UP MURDERING HAVE THE RESIDENTS OF THE TOWN LIKE HE HAS WITH EVERY OTHER CITY HE'S BEEN IN.
IN OTHER NEWS, FAMED OUTLAW, HERO, AND MURDERER "CHARLIE MANHUGE" WENT ON A KILLING SPREE IN THE MAGE'S GUILD. NEEDLESS TO SAY, HE HAS BEEN THROWN OUT OF THE GUILD. SOURCES SAY THAT AT LEAST 10-20 PEOPLE HAVE BEEN KILLED.
...MAN, IT REALLY SUCKS THAT WE HAVE
BOTH THESE MURDERERS AROUND. NORMALLY, WE ONLY HAVE ONE UNKILLABLE OUTLAW AT A TIME.
GODDAMN, THESE ARE SOME
REALLY SUCKY TIMES WE LIVE IN.
My mind is finally starting to clear up from that skooma incident.
THAT IS A MISTAKE THAT I WON'T BE REPEATING.
Anyway, I finally decide to go see the Gray Fox. I hope he has a nice, fun, murderous mission for me!
... This... sounds familiar.
God daisies it Brethesda this better not be as similar to an earlier quest as the second Waterfront incident.
WOW
I AM GOING TO HAVE TO ROB BLIND OLD PEOPLE
THIS SOUNDS SO DIFFICULT
...When you say "advantage", are you referring to your penis?
Because it sure sounds like you are.
But... I'm robbing them. Won't the people guarding the stone
technically be innocent?
Meh, I guess it doesn't matter. I was probably going to kill them all anyway.
The monastery is located kind of out of the way.
GOOD THING I HAS ME A HORSE
A HORSIE THAT LIKES TO
JUMP
...Orrrr maybe not...
The impact of the fall "kills" Shadowmere. I fall off, but I land on a conveniently placed stone in the cliff wall.
daisies, look at her go.
She is really tumbling down that cliff.
That is quite a drop.
I kind of feel bad now.
Luckily, Shadowmere is soon back on her feet.
Somehow.
I jump down the cliff and rejoin my steed.
By the way, if you are wondering why I am not the Crystalhead Fistman right now, it is because I might have to interact with these monks first to get some info.
And having pleasant conversations with monks is not the kind of thing the Crystalhead Fistman should be seen doing.
Well, this is the place.
I wait until morning and talk to a monk.
There appears to be a total of three of them.
Apparently these monks are not blind.
Nor do they apparently know anything about the stone.
I'D BETTER USE SOME PERSUASION, AMIRITE?
Thereeeee we go.
INTERESTING
NOW HOW ABOUT THAT STONE
Dude, every single guard that has tried to arrest me recently has told me that my criminal exploits are well-known, and you think I'm
trustworthy!?
Oh well, I'm not arguing.
MAGICAL POWERS!?
HOW UNBELIEVABLE
Seriously though what
doesn't have magical powers in this game.
Wait, you are
seriously going to just show me in?
...Okay then...
He takes me to a door in some strange looking catacombs.
Apparently, the blind monks are beyond that door.
I'll break in and get the stone. But first...
I've got some Crystalhead Fistman-ing to do.
Sorry about this, "dear friend", but the Crystalhead Fistman leaves no witnesses.
Oh you monks and your habit of praying. It makes it so easy to sneak up behind you and kill you.
Same goes for you, third not-blind monk.
Well, that's all of the not-blind-ers. TIME TO GET THAT STONE
It's dark in here.
Well, since these monks are all blind, I'd imagine I shouldn't have
too much of a problem getting that stone...
Woah. For a blind person, this guy can fight pretty well.
...In fact, it almost seems as if they have they same A.I. as every other NPC, and no attempts were made to make them actually
seem blind...
Oh, Brethesda, you little lazy company!
Not well enough, though.
Oh, hey, my intelligence is still down from that skooma incident.
Luckily, I have some "restore intelligence" potions on hand. Thus, the problem is easily remedied.
Godammit, monks, you are all old and blind. You should just sit still like good little blind people while I murder you and steal your ma
gic rock.
PUNCHING BLIND OLD LADYS IN THE FACE
YEAH
Man, I was
planning to murder every single monk in this monastery, but I wasn't planning to have to
fight all of them.
One of the monks tries to run away.
At first, I figure it is because she knows she stands no chance against the Crystalhead Fistman.
However, it turns out she just ran to pick up one of her dead allies' swords.
Even though it was se
veral rooms away.
And she has no way of seeing it because she is blind.
YEP, BRETHESDA, THESE MONKS DEFINITELY SEEM BLIND ALL RIGHT. I SEE YOU PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO THIS A.I.
Man, these monks really have something against me.
At one point, I manage to paralyze one of the monks with a forward power attack.
In other words, I start punching a blind, old, paralyzed man to death.
I'm kind of a dick, now that I think about it.
Anyway, I head deeper in to the place and into a cave-like area.
WHAT'S THIS
A CLEARLY VISIBLE ROBE A FEW INCHES OFF THE GROUND
AS WELL AS SE
VERAL MACES HANGING FROM THE CEILING
THIS DOES NOT SEEM LIKE AN OBVIOUS TRAP AT ALL
A little later I run into a room that fills with gas as the exits close behind me.
It would be quite a problem if it weren't for the fact there were se
veral ropes hanging form the ceiling that easily opened the exits back up.
These monks really suck at traps.
Oh, wow.
That log right there.
It almost got within a foot of me.
Clearly, the monks knew exactly what they were doing. Maybe next time, they'll get within
a few inches of me.
I soon stumble across a wraith
I find this surprising since wraiths are generally considered unholy while monks are generally considered holy.
It seems like a bit of a contradiction.
Oh, come on! Those spikes aren't even hidden! What, do you think someone is just going to say, "I THINK I WILL RANDOMLY CLOSE MY EYES WHILE I WALK DOWN THIS HALL" and then step on the spikes? Just because you guys are blind, doesn't mean everyone else is!
Ahh, that must be the stone on the pedestal thing to the right there.
Strangely, it is only the
second most magical looking thing in the room. Maybe they should have put that magical red crystal of death somewhere else.
Well, anyway, here goes nothing.
YEEEEEEEEEEEE HAWWWWWWW
Anyway, I kill the monk. That stupid red crystal keeps shooting spells at me, though, but there is nothing I can do about that.
I forgot to take a close up picture of the stone, but you can kind of see it here. It is the round white thing near the middle of the picture.
Anyway, nearby I find... a trapdoor?
Does this lead where I think it does?
GODDAMMIT!
I WAS RIGHT!
THERE WAS A SECRET PASSAGEWAY ALL ALONG
IT WOULD HAVE BEEN
REALLY NICE TO KNOW ABOUT THIS EARLIER
Anyway, I head back to the Gray Fox. He complements me on my armory skill. That was nice of him.
Also, I just realized that, when the Gray Fox and I talk, both of us are wearing masks and both have no idea who the other person really is.
INTERESTING, RIGHT?
Yes.
Yes I do.
And I only had to murder everyone in an entire monastery to get it.
What.
Why would monks randomly have a stone like this.
What the hell would they want with it.
This does not compute.
OH NO, I KILLED SOME NOT-BLIND MONKS.
Strangely, he has no problem with all the
blind monks I murdered.
Anyway, he says to be on the lookout for when another messenger of his might arrive.
I should probably head to the Imperial City if I want to get that message as fast as possible.
