AWKWARD ZOMBIE

That was amazing Zink.

The update or the silly song?

so I was digging through my downloads file...

this picture makes me lose every time

Both. Though I was primarily referring to the song.

Zink wrote:

Bacon wrote:PUNCH MISERS YEAH

there needs to be a theme song

I'm Mister Punch Miser, I'm Mister Fist,

I'm Mister bruised Christmas, I'mmmm Mister Kinda-rustled,

They call me Punch Miser,

Anything I touch,

Starts to die in my clutch,

I'm too much.


Something like that, Bacon?

That was beautiful.

Hey, uh, guys, I wrote the next update, but when I hit preview post, I noticed that the images were the wrong size. Looks like I am going to have to re-upload them if I don't want to stretch the page.

I saved all the text and writing to a notepad document. I should have this update fixed within an hour or so. Uploading pictures takes a while.

Aw man Zink that's awful












NEW UPDATE SOON WOO YEA

Now that I'm free of my bounty, I decide to head back to Bravil. I may as well see what Kud-ei, that one Mage's Guild leader, wanted me to do. Helping mage's generally results in free magical items.

I like free magical items.



I ask a random bystander about the "Forlon Watchman" or whatever it is called on the way there. He tells me to talk to "Silverhome-on-the-Water" if I want to know more.

That is a dumb name.



I talk to Kud-Ei and tell her to take me to what's-his-face.



She leads me to a relatively normal looking house right across the street.



She takes me to a room with two beds. One is occupied by a guy who appears to be a mage.



...You... just wanted me to wake the guy up?

...O...kay...



Wait, you mean he is bodaciously in his own dream?

...What the hell I'm I supposed to do about that?




And you expect me to do this.

Well, it sounds interesting, at least.

I ask her why she isn't the one doing this.



Fair enough.



That sounds really creepy out of context.

Really creepy.



I go to sleep, but it turns out that I forgot to put on the amulet. Thus, instead of going to Dreamworld, I level up.

Whoops.

I'm getting a little tired of that "HARD WORK AND DEDICATION ALWAYS LOOK LIKE LUCK" message. It's a shame that's the only message I'm getting now. I really miss that mid-life crisis the level-up messages were going through.

Anyway, I equip the amulet and head into Dreamworld for reals this time.



...Well, this doesn't seem to bad.

It's just like the normal world, but everything is red for some reason.



Also I'm naked.

Apparently, my stuff doesn't come with me in Dreamworld.

...This is kind of awkward.



Well, I find the guy I'm looking for, but he is acting all weird, for some reason.




...Why must I do everything?



For some reason, there is what appears to be a cave door behind me. Despite the fact this looks like a room in a house.

It leads to a place called "The Test of Patience". Sounds important.



It's really dark and empty in here.



Inside that vase thingy I find a scroll with a bunch of nonsense on it.



...I don't like the look of those buttons...

Oh well, I probably just need to walk across. It's probably a test of bravery or something. I might as well try.



Those blood-stains should tell you how well that went.



Wait... There the same amount of letters in that first block of nonsense as there are buttons! Maybe I'm supposed to step only on the buttons that correspond to the letters on this scroll that are all the same and make a path by themselves!

(Sorry about how bad that description was. I already know how to solve this puzzle from a previous play through, and I have no idea better describe the solution.)

Anyway, I was right and it works. I use the same strategy for the next group of buttons. And the next.



Eventually I find this thing. It seems important. I take it.

How exciting.



Queston then sums up everything I need to do for me.

What a great teammate.



I head downstairs in the house-type place, which appears to be the central hub. There's probably another challenge down here.



Woah. That doesn't look pleasant.

I enter.



Hey, it looks like the arena in here. That brings back memories.




Inside that vase-type thing I find a bunch of armor and weapons.

I take them all.



I decide to wear the glass armor instead of the deadric armor, as the bonus I get for wearing all light armor (thanks to me being a master of light armor) makes wearing glass armor better for me than wearing deadric.



Glass gauntlets actually look really cool. THey look like they are made for punching people.



I head into the "arena" and am confronted by two minotaurs.



Well, that was easy.



Some stairs then randomly appear out of nowhere, leading up to the balcony where I would be able to view an arena match if this were the real world.



Another essence thingy. OH BOY.



Back in the house-type place, I decide to enter a door that leads to...

THE TEST OF PERCEPTION!



It's dark in here.



...This all seems too simple...



Holy crap! Those rocks almost crushed me!

Looks like this place is filled with traps!




Swinging blades of death and a bottomless pit of doom? This place really means business!



...I don't like the look of those square thingies...



Oh god poison gas help I am being poisoned to death I am used to getting oxygen when I breath but this is not oxygen this is poison and I would rather not breath this because it is unpleasant

Anyway, the stuff hardly does any damage at all, so I just continue on.



A pressure plate? Really? That's kind of obvious.

I decide to step on it and then back off just to see what will happen.



Meh. Just a cave-in. How boring.



Next up, we have a hall of guillotines.



Due to my high speed/agility/athletics/whatever skill, I am able to easily run through without getting chopped into pieces.



However, a cave-in at the other side catches me off guard.

Ow.



The next trap uses really obvious buttons.

If I step on them a really weak spell gets tossed at me.

Wow. How threatening.



I find yet another essence.

...I can't help but feel that I'm taking someone else's spiritual journey...



Where the front door of the house-type place should be, there is instead what appears to be a wooden entrance to a cave of some sort. It's apparently the "test of courage".



Oh boy. A cave. I haven't been in a million of these before.

Is this really the best Dreamworld can do?



In the nearby vase-type thing I find a potion of water-breathing. That's weird. I wonder-

Uh oh... I see where this is going.



Looks like I have an underwater tunnel to swim through.

...I honestly can't think of a witty comment for this. I know I should be able to but... I just can't.

...sigh...



It is a really long tunnel.

It seems to go on forever.

Which kind of sucks because I personally like breathing and it is an activity I cannot do underwater.



I soon come across a door. An underwater one, obviously.



It leads to what appears to be the interior of a fort.



I really hope this is the last essence.



It is.

HOORAY



We both return to the real world.



He gives me a few crappy scrolls as thanks.

I'm actually really disappointed. I expected something better.

I probably should kill him but eh I don't feel like it.



Also I'm naked again for some reason.

...The only way this is possible is for either Kud-ei or Martin to have stripped me naked while I was asleep.

...That's really, really, REALLY creepy.



I put my clothes back on and head outside. Except... something is missing.

Crap! Martin is still in there, and the door is locked!

That normally wouldn't be such a problem if it weren't for the fact that this lock can't be picked for some reason.



I wait 12 hours to see if it will be unlocked in the morning, but as soon as my waiting is over I see what's-his-face leaving the house.

In other words, it is still locked.



I wait, hour by hour, waiting for that daisies door to be unlocked.

I wait for almost a full day. Maybe even more.



Suddenly, Martin just walks out.

Apparently he could just walk out the whole time.

As in, he made me wait all that time for nothing.

SDAJOIVNAOIFHXOZNVOAISHDFOIXCHJGIOHSOFIDASDOGHI


DAAAAAAAAMN YOU MARTIIIIIN!

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN YOOOOOOOOUUUUU!



Gah... keeping Martin around is getting to be more trouble than it is worth.

However, enough about that! I have decided that I shall next be doing the quests necessary to join the Mage's Guild.

In. One. Update.

I HOPE YOU ARE READY

I just used some skooma and ran through the test of patience.
Of course, now my intelligence is pitifully low

excuse me while i drool on those awesome glass gauntlets.

STUPID HAN-WHATEVER. I HATED THAT QUEST.


But mage guild yay <3 THEY HAVE THE BEST STUFF TO STEAL. AND YOU'RE ALLOWED TO.

More like 4 or 5, I think.

Still, though, that's going to be a big update. 7 Quests worth.

They are boring, short quests anyway.

They can be very easily summed up in 3-5 images each with enough text.

So what now

Are we pushing for a new page?