Pokemon Emerald Cry Edition: i.e. Lolita does a Nuzlocke

[SaintCrazy]

Once I took a Sableye all the way to the elite four with a silly Toxic/Double Team/Detect moveset.

It was hilarious.

[corsica]

okay i'm really dumb apparently and the screenshots i thought i took i didn't so uh



i caught a magikarp and named it after u terra

yaaaaaay




then i fought these two guys on my way to the cave



then i caught a makuhita and i shoved it in a box



i went back to grinding and vealin got to level 16 and i replaced growl with peck



then that screenshot happened






congratulations vealin you're an actual fighting cock



then i replaced scratch with double kick

OKAY now that we're up to speed

i grinded a bunch and taught marcato gust

that's basically it

and i looked for steven but fuck that the cave is super dark



so whatever fuckers



let's do this



oh goddammit



wow okay pokemon challenges in the darkest of rooms yeah i see this going well



how the fuck is she levitating like that



truly a hard fought battle



apparently every time you beat a trainer the gym lights up more so ugh i guess i'll beat all of them then





why do the gym trainers always talk themselves up as ~*hardcore*~ but then fail miserably



all right i think i've almost got everybody



and then a double battle

did i mention that meditite is a demon spawn from hell

and it has a weird blowjob face



lol later haters



aight i'm gonna put shinchar up first so she can get some exp.



let's go let's go

also: his name is brawly and he has fighting type pokemon are you serious

this should be a cinch



oh



oh...

all right motherfucker you just signed your death warrant



i'm gonna fucking murder you



fuck you

fuck you fuck you fuck you



i'm gonna take your fucking heart, too



ugh never call me



sigh




i guess this is goodbye, shinchar



you were a good companion



better heal up and go find steven now that i can use flash



i make my way to the cave and light up the lower floors



aw it's pretty cute



too bad pumkin is cuter than you'll ever be



fuck yeah



he's got a different sprite from everybody else so this must be steven



nailed it



just take it and let me get out of this cave, jesus





ugh fine just give me the stupid move



oh shit that's actually really good

thanks bro



you can hmu anytime ;))))))))))))))



all right enough of this shitty town let's get to slateport



uuuuuuggghhh i have to ride with this guy again?

fine as long as it gets me where i need to go



he takes me to slateport and i try to not vomit from seasickness

not from the actual sailing, but from this fucking weirdo who's obsessed with a shitty pokemon



we get to slateport and i am ambushed by an older man and a child

oh god please i don't want to take part in your boku no pico reenactment



marill...

:(

i miss you shinchar, i'm sorry i didn't save you



sigh

i beat them and then take their cheddar



then this other little kid challenges me

okay w/e



i'm sorry

i'm sorry what



ok i'm just gonna

go

he registers himself in my pokenav and i vow to never talk to him again

all right let's go find stern

i finally get into slateport and man slateport has really good background music



he's gotta be in here, right



right



fuck



why is everything so goddamn complicated



roxanne calls me and asks for a rematch someday



he wasn't at the shipyard

fuck where is he



well he's gotta be here since this is the only place i haven't checked





really

REALLY



whatever just take your stupid parts



i better get a good fucking reward for this



oh my god kill me



yeah okay let's just battle already



jesus fucking christ that thing looks like it's in constant pain



put it out of its misery, marcato



good job



then i replaced poison sting with stun spore




wow you sure took care of me all right



okay pumkin you should be able to take care of the next one



or not



ugh just beat the shit out of it already and end this



well i beat them and pumkin leveled up so that's good



yeah can i go now




ex-fucking-cuse you

a mere child? bitch i could mow through your entire fucking gang and be fine

this mere child is going to beat the hell out of you



wow i couldn't tell at how much you love the sea, what with your sea-themed name, pirate clothes, and blue-colored outfits. your subtlety is truly a thing of beauty



what, are your two goons there named betty and veronica



who the fuck is team magma





no, that's wrong and you're stupid

do you think these things through at all or do you just hustle ahead and do what you think is right even though it's not

if we have so much sea then where the fuck is everybody supposed to live, fucknuts



you and i have very different definitions of tense



thanks for not giving me a reward for saving your booty



these adults are fucking dumbasses



i'm a fucking parcel mistress what do you want



oh

well i can beat you again if you want i mean i'm pretty up for that



uh, i won't forgive you just because you gave me a TM but thanks anyway i guess



ugh fuck those guys

there was another route i saw when i was looking for stern so let's get another pokemon



oh goddammit not this asshole again



you called me a novice and then left me in the dust



ok whatever just put yourself in my pokenav and let me go already, christ



stop following me



alright there's gotta be a pokemon somewhere



ah here we go



yessssssssssss



i caught but apparently didn't screenshot it wtf i thought i did



i named it Sia because i didn't wanna name it after any of you smelly dudes



after healing up i make my way back to briney so he can take me to rustboro so i can get a reward from the president of devco



i did so much stupid bullshit he better have a good reward



fuck

yes

finally i can start training chimaera



okay don't care bye



let's go train some pokemon

[keegster2]

i'm sorry

i'm sorry what

I didn't even know that Zigzagoon could learn Surf.

Also, next GYMs Thunder type, so get a Ground type.

[TerraChimaera]

Fuck yesssssssss
I will be the best/worst Gyarados

[keegster2]

You'll probably die before you evolve, so don't get your hoops up.

[TerraChimaera]

I don't even have to fucking do anything, now that she has the EXP Share

This is great

[Terraem]

Steven Stone is the best champion ever. This alone makes the 3rd gen so enjoyable.

[Rinoko]

Please Mistress Loli

Please teach me Steel Wing

[Shining Charizard]

oh



oh...

Noooo...

Well, at least I never ended up as an HM slave.

High five Madican, now we can be ghosts together.

[keegster2]

Well, the MACHOP was 2 levels higher than you.

[Shining Charizard]

Karate Chop has a high crit ratio, plus Brawly likes to use Focus Energy first. I'm assuming that is what happened.

The irony is that now that I'm a ghost, fighting moves wouldn't hurt me.

[[Citation Needed]]

I've played the Hoenn games so much I can get through the cave in the dark, so I always say FUCK BRAWLY and skip him, then come back later when I've gained like ten levels for everyone.

[Tammerath]

You are a funny Nuzlocker Loli

[corsica]

guess who keeps fucking up screenshots (me)

update later today since i got shit i gots ta do

[corsica]

okay i lied no update today because i'm super fucking tired

i'll post a lot tomorrow pinky promise

give me things that i should do in the game