AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I've never tasted lamb that I've liked, its always had this harsh taste to it that I haven't enjoyed.

And I've had lamb in many different ways, more so then having it once and decided I didn't like it.

Even the fancy stuff hasn't agreed with my taste buds.

"Florida Man" is a terrible superhero.

Florida Man
Florida Man
Kills his wife cause she won't work the pan
Giving wedgies
Injecting butts
Scared of gators cause he's a klutz
Look out! Here comes the Florida Man

He's his own nemesis. It's the perfect crime.

My lungs.

I'd like to take this opportunity to reaffirm my standing policy of not inviting people to my home state. This placed is FUCKED.

I'd advise people to come to Texas, but they announced today that if the Federal government tries to ban or regulate gun sales, they'll be legally obligated to fight it due to the state law that gun sales can't be regulated.

I think they missed that day of political science about how if state law comes in conflict with federal law, federal law wins.

And I don't think the Texas law that says they have the right to ignore federal law can be used either.

Texas Man's super power is that he is immune to changes in federal law.

Also he's married to his gun.

Well, if you didn't know, this issue came up because when the state legislature wanted to delay or possibly cancel an upcoming gunshow, the proprietors pulled out this law that forbids the restriction of gun sales in the state. Granted federal regulations play some role in how they get the guns, but the legislature was fully unable to do anything about it.

The sad thing is, even many gun enthusiasts in the legislature largely supported a month delay in the show as a sign of respect for the shooting in Connecticut.

Certainly doesn't make the gunshow people look like pricks when they shut down the discussion with "Nope. Don't care if this is touchy. Gonna do it because you can't tell us not to."

So now, they actually are trying to work out what'll happen if Federal law restricts gun sales, since state law since it can't be restricted.

DoNotDelete wrote: Also he's married to his gun.

I'd believe that.

"what a bitch for having severe brain damage"

Am I the only person who would love to date a guy with Tourettes? it would be so ridiculously fun and they’re just normal people.

it would be so ridiculously fun

fun

fuuuuuuck off

I want a disney princess with acne. I want a disney princess with scars. I want a princess who’s not size 0 and doesn’t have a thigh gap. A lesbian, a punk, something totally different. Someone we can relate to. I want the next disney princess to be Johnny Depp.

All Hail the Mighty Infallible Pair of Jon and Colbert

When they make fun of trans people, it’s because they love us! They’re not really like that! They just play that on TV!

Now everybody bow and receive the ceremonial piss from above. Be thankful for that urine, because it comes from the dicks of wealthy white cis men with TV shows. Who totally love you the cheap jokes your existence provides.

And after the piss sinks in, remind yourself of that one time Conan O’Brien made a transphobic joke, was called out on it, and then apologized, promising he’d never do it again. And then reassure yourself, He’s not nearly as liberal as Jon and Colbert.

A little bit of backstory: same person who wrote that complained about this post: http://havelogicwilltravel.tumblr.com/post/41936070711 somehow completely forgetting that indeed, The Colbert Report is satire, and so that poster totally forgot that TV and reality are not the same thing. It is too early for retardedness this large.

Well Johnny Depp would be okay