AWKWARD ZOMBIE

OOC:
Wait so I'm assuming the mansion is where our guy is with the job?

IC:
"Well! We may as well get straight to business then! Whoever wants to meet this noble fellow, follow me."

And I then proceed to request access to the mansion, probably by knocking on the front door.

IC: Hey, wait for me! I'm goin too, just to make sure this noble guy isn't gonna gyp us.

"S'pose we may as well go together until we know what our plans are."

"Yay! Business!"

Theron stays behind to guard the mules from filthy villagers (and I guess so they don't wander off), as the rest of you head to the mansion. Passing the open gates, you enter the front yard, walking the path to the front door. The doorman asks to search you for weapons, and after verifying you do, he lets you in. Wouldn't want someone without weapons taking this job. "The meeting room is straight up those stairs, you can't miss it."
The mansion is pretty normal. Very mansiony. This room, you believe, is called the foyer. In front of you is the staircase the doorman told you about, leading up to a door, and from there two alternate staircases going left and right respectively. On the ground floor, there is a hallway to your left, and next to the staircase (to the left of it, but not on the left wall) is archway to the dining room. To the right appears to be the kitchen, doors shut. Within this room there are some paintings that to the untrained eye appear worthless, but upon closer inspection are still pretty cheap. There are potted plants by the windows, edibility unknown. A chandelier hangs from the ceiling, the only expensive looking item in this room. You do not notice anyone in this room but yourselves.
Down the hall are doors, all closed. The hall splits, one way continuing left and one way going north and then left again. There are potted plants by the doors on little pedestals, at least on the first few doors; the doors down the northern part of the hall have none, being not near a window, instead having little statues on pedestals. 3 doors down the left and 6 after the hall continues left after going north, 3 on the south side and 3 on the north.

A terrible and slightly (only slightly) inaccurate map for visually oriented players.

Krom tries to appear civilized.
And by appear civilized I mean fake studying the paintings.
And by studying the paintings I mean taking one of it's hooks and looking at it at different angles. (hope there isn't a safe behind the one he pulls out )
...
He might nibble a plant leaf while he's at it.

"Careful with those, big guy. I 'ear some of them are actually portals to other worlds that suck you in if you make them angry."

Otherwise is right to warn you, many leaves can take you to whole new worlds, though usually you need to burn them. These are not such leaves. You know those fake rubber plants? Imagine if those were real plants. Not the plant they are based on but a plant that looks/taste fake. I assume it is chewy and flavorless. It is not poisonous and you haven't eaten enough to determine if they're bad for you.
There are no safes behind the portraits, only dangers. But what is an adventure in the mansion without danger?

Krom Stares at the painting for a half second, mouth agape, before slamming it back on it's hook as fast as he can. Then pretends to act inconspicuous.

EDIT: NINJA DM'd!

Not even a Bluff check. We're going to be such good friends.

"Fancy place, anyways. Did the big cahoot name a time for an organized formation of his li'l merc group or is it more of a 'Walk on in, sit righ' down, don't forget to arm yerselves on the way in' sort of deal?"

OoC: I'm going to have to drop this, this weekend has been full of shit and the next month looks like my schedule is going to be locked up tighter than alcatraz. I guess I'll sign ownership of the mule over to whoever wants it and the DM will decide what to do with my belongings.

Sorry everyone. :/

OOC: DIBS! well, Krom intends to be the animal guy, but I'll share the loads with everyone else if I get the mule. (other people can ask for the mule, really just throwing the option out there.)
As for the bluff check, I figured that was funny enough and Krom is stupid enough that it doesn't matter that time.
So, I guess can get another player? possibly a cleric or someone who can heal?

All the more reason to put ranks into Bluff next level, then. It's just the kind of amusement a Halfling couldn't afford to pass up. Krom already has his stuff back from the night previous, by the by. Forgot to put that in.

Ah. Sorry we won't be having you longer, Kamak.

As the DM replaces the batteries in his mouse, you hear from outside the call of your friend Theron. "I want to be free, see ya guys." He gives the mules a sharp piece of tin can he found on the road and the doorman lets them through as they are armed. On the back of the mules are all your items, and all of Theron's possesions, including clothing and armor. Whoever wants it can take it or just hide it behind a potted plant.
I need to make a small adjustment before making the rest of this post. And as Krom ninja'd me on dibs he gets it all.

We now return to your featured presentation, already in progress.
The doorman had said to go up the stairs and go through the door, but as there's nothing preventing you from exploring/looting the mansion without seeing lord Houtin IV, I chose to give you free reign. You can easily go up the stairs and go on in at any time. I know I want to make things go fast but railroading is not good for DMing.

Being the proper businessman I am, I'm going to make a beeline for the meeting room.

No need to keep the man waiting when there jobs to be done.

"Come along, Krom! The sooner we find out what this man wants, the sooner we may find ourselves on the field of battle!"

"Oh, and Semli! If you're going to steal anything, try to spend some time in the kitchen. If we're going to be working for this man, we can at least do so well fed."