AWKWARD ZOMBIE

>inventory

HisanTakura wrote:Examine your pager. Anyone who is still rocking the pager needs to check it.

Your pager appears to be non responsive to any buttons

LordSeth wrote:Promote a bear to first-mate.

!You are in no authority to promote a bear!
!There are currently no bears aboard the Space!

Cafall wrote:space bend yr space dick

!dick is bent, seek aid immediately!

Marcato wrote:Page the captain intimate details about your life.

Although the pager is broken, you write a few personal short stories on some paper
Gained item:
~Embarrassing short stories

Bacon wrote:examine space watch

the space watch tells the space time
it is currently seven o clock in the space (morning)

Scoot wrote:Eat your pencil.

You savagely tear the pencil into shreds and devour its painful splinters
It takes some time, and some tears are shed, but at last the pencil is yours

Syobon wrote:Fap, you have morning wood.

!Your bent dick prevents fapping!

Shoolis wrote:Perform space science on your space gender

On earth, you are a man
IN SPACE YOU ARE A SPACEMAN
what science would you like to conduct?
~genderology
~bonerology
~boobology

Crush Bandicoot wrote:murder your captain

become space macbeth

Quest gained:
~Macspace
-kill your captain and take control of the ship
-requirements:
-dead captain
-control of the ship
-Lady Macspace

FatOldRobot wrote:Stuff everything into your pockets and go into the lobby.

Your pockets rip and tear but the job is done
!Space shorts quality has dropped by 10%!
You space walk like the biggest, most coolest dude on the space-block
You forgot to open the door though, and smash into it
Finally entering the space-lobby, you find it deserted, as it usually is at 7 o clock in the space

Fatehehhhh wrote:Go give your captain a good morning "hug".

The captain's quarters are locked

FireflyYoshi wrote:Go to the toilet, you've just woken up.

Your diet does not allow you to defecate or urinate, it is a necessary part of the job

NDividedByZero wrote:travel to the elevator and proceed to break it

You examine the Spacelevator
It is very large, useful for carrying furniture on The Space up and down
It has one button on the outside, which is Down
It has three buttons on the inside,3rd 2nd and 1st floor
How would you like to sabotage the elevator?
~Hit the console
~Break open a panel and rip out some wires
~other

Slip embarrassing short stories under Captain's door to lure him out for the kill.

conduct bonerology

Take space elevator to 1st space floor.

Set up a trap in the elevator to kill your comander once you lure him with te embarrassing notes.

Eat pager.

Marcato wrote:Slip embarrassing short stories under Captain's door to lure him out for the kill.

ShadowGuy wrote:Set up a trap in the elevator to kill your comander once you lure him with te embarrassing notes.

Eat pager.

The pager is smashed shamelessly into your mouth as you crunch, bite and slobber it into submission.
Foes eaten: 2
A colourful idea presents itself to you, one which has more colours than even my last line. This means it has a minimum of two colours present, and that means it is just full of colours. The idea, of course, is that you will lure Bezaruck out of his cabin by planting the Embarrassing Notes under his door. The captain is fond of laughing at others in their faces and will no doubt come rushing up to bully you.

Bacon wrote:conduct bonerology

You prepare your mind, your soul and your-
Sadly, your dick is too bent to conduct bonerology.

Syobon wrote:Take space elevator to 1st space floor.

Instead of sabotaging it like earlier, you take the Spacelevator all the way to the first floor.
The first floor houses The Spaces' slaves. Slaves are used for everything in the ship, from workers, loaders, machines, parts, ammunition, cannons-- Seriously, everything.
What are you thinking of doing next?

Hire some space slaves to kill the captain.

Once the captain is killed, eat the slaves and the captain's remains.

>Conduct boobology

Conduct William Wallace-esque slave rebellion.

Make love to space slaves, non penetrative since your dick is bent.

Conduct genderology on the slaves
If female conduct boobology
If male, get to work on bending all the dicks into one giant boomerang formation

Then lure the captain onto the first floor and assault him with your bent dick boomerang

eat slaves

Find a space-female space-bear. Marry it and name it Lady Macspace.

Read Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and then kick a slave in the groin.