Craziest Thing You've Ever Done aka Tall Tales Thread

[Syobon]

And by craziest I mean the dumbest, irresponsiblest and/or immaturest, but at the same time, it's one of those things that you don't really regret, because of the fond memories or the fun you had. Or in general any hard-to-believe stories you experienced.

Also, let's try to keep it legal. I'll start off.

I once broke a barstool with my head.

[AngusMcLeod]

That one time when I was drunk in town with my friend on Saint-Jean-Baptiste day. I was wearing an army helmet and a Quebec flag as a cape. Immaturity and running everywhere without giving a single fuck.

One of my best nights ever.

[Nachalnik]

Well this happened to my brother but you know the sticks in a bike wheel?

Somehow my brother impaled himself in the hand/fingers with a bunch of those. He was 5 or something.

That was some crazy shit.

[DoNotDelete]

Having an impromptu wrestling match in the middle of a road with some old school friends - causing traffic to come to a standstill.

Yeah, we were pretty drunk - in the middle of the day no less.


Actually there was one time we wrestled all the way back to one of the guy's houses; What should've been a ten minute walk took over an hour.

Sometimes we recorded this nonsense.

[Nachalnik]

Went swimming once despite the reports of half eaten seal remains being found near the docks.

Because fuck that I wasn't letting a shark ruin my holiday.

[Galaxy Man]

I once like, fuckin', ate like three pounds of pastrami on like one sandwich

with no mustard

Also there was that one time I decided it was a good idea to jump off of my roof, because I was convinced I could spin several times in the air and land on my feet, because fuck man I was like seven and Sonic could do it so obviously science was in my favor.

Everything after that is pretty much a blur but I sorta landed on my back on the hardest part of the ground possible. One story house, i got back up, but fuck that shit hurt.

[Nachalnik]

Set some trash on fire once and dared my friend to piss it out.

He did. It was on a public beach and everything.

[Madican]

On a camping trip I've been biking down this really steep and curving incline for the past day, so I knew it pretty well. Where to turn and all that, and it was a one-way road where no one was allowed to park on it so I figured hey pretty safe.

Last ride of the day and I go down from the top. Near the end there's a big group of people walking along the road so I correct my curve and find this really shiny, brand new, red Ford truck sitting on the outside of the curve where I was going to be in exactly five seconds.

Know the fight or flight syndrome? There should be a "do something incredibly insane" option, because I jumped from that bike in a heartbeat, entering the first stage of an impact-cancelling roll at top speed after two minutes of no-brake descent from the top of a mountain. The same roll you're supposed to do when tripping, not breaking the sound barrier.

And from what I've been told by the people who saw it, I'd have probably succeeded. Form was perfect, completely horizontal movement, and completely Zen focus on not getting smeared.

Then my bike, jealous at my impending victory, caught my foot in the spokes as I jumped and proceeded to drag me thirty feet across the road while I went limp automatically. Zero broken bones, and the only cost being I turned my skin into hamburger and can never have a beard due to scar tissue.

[Mr. Mander]

One time I punched a church so hard it collapsed

(The church was over a hundred years old and in pretty shitty condition)

[Sleauxbreaux]

Craziest Thing You've Ever Done

princess brothel.

[hotb]

Obama

[Sleauxbreaux]

Shit, you're quick.

[Exeres]

[Vax]

I was skiing and going down a run that starts off as about a 90 degree slope. Normally I'd play it safe on a run like that but fuck I had The Protomen blasting in my ear and they were commanding me to light up the night, so I fuckin did.
I start going down straight and going as fast as possible. Tucked down and not turning an inch. Now near the bottom of this run there is a jump. For the longest time I had been to afraid to do this jump (mainly because it is fuckhuge and I suck at jumps) but daisies it I could almost hear the hounds and I had a fever like my veins were full of nothing but gasoline, so I decided to do it.

Now as I hit the jump, I thought several things at once. The first was that I was in no way prepared to make a jump this big at full speed. The second was that the song I was listening to was climaxing (Breaking Out I believe). The final thing was that I had just lifted off the ground and I was not going to return to it in a very graceful manner.

So I land and my legs collapse beneath me because I hit the ground at a shitty angle. My skis flew off of me and went in every direction and I myself rolled a few yards down the mountain and skidded to a stop. So yeah, no major injuries (I twisted my ankle a bit and my thumbs hurt like a bitch along with my ribs because I slid down a mountain on them) so I was feelin pretty lucky.
I rolled onto my back to help myself get up, which was proving to be hard because lots of things were in pain.

As I was lifting myself off the ground with my arms, a snowboarder was going down the same run and off that same jump. He probably couldn't see me there because the jump itself was in the way. So yeah he went off it, landed a few feet behind me, and ran pretty hard into my fuckin kidney with the end of his board. I toppled over in burning pain and he just kinda rode on by, either oblivious or uncaring. Iunno.

So yeah I say there for a while in a whole mess of pain, and I only worked up the strength to get myself up when a friendly guy came by, saw I was on the ground and not moving a whole lot, and offered me his hand. I got up and said I was alright (Though I wasn't quite feelin alright) and then I proceeded to walk down the rest of the mountain. Longest walk I've ever made right there. So yeah I just went back into the lodge and laid my head on a table and waited out the rest of the trip.
ugh.

[Syobon]

Sounds similar to how I busted my lip, but at least you were doing something awesome when you fell. I was just going down regularly, on an easy piece of mountain (still black though) and just messed up.

But man, the stupid stuff I did on that winter trip...