AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Winchester wrote:I tend to not feel welcome anywhere, both in real life and on the internet.

I don't know how true that is, but it's a feeling I have almost all the time.

Don't worry, I feel like that even when my family invites me places.

Seeing my roommate go all out and break the bank for everyone's birthday except for mine makes me more upset than it should.

I still keep the note she left saying she'd make it up for me for not being able to do anything for my birthday, I know she probably never will do anything for me like she does for everyone else, but I still keep thinking one day she'll surprise me for some reason.

i want to read yotsuba&! but i can't because i think the dad is cute for some reason and it's really embarrassing

mah husbando~

He's really cute.
Actually I don't think there's a single uncute character so far. Maybe the guy that looks like an oni.

I'm kind of leaning toward doing fan art again.

I kind of committed myself to never doing fan art ever again at the start of this year because I hated that I was seen as someone who only really did fan art/fan comics - tbh that's how I'd come to see myself - and I hated myself for it - and I hated that my gallery was full of mostly fan art too.

I have produced a lot of original character designs and material since the start of the year - but I'm (still) not wholly comfortable with submitting that kind of stuff publicly just yet (though I am warming up to the idea with some of my original designs). I suppose I have a lot of unfinished fan art I could get around to cleaning up as well - if I wanted to.

I guess I feel differently about fan art now - I still have reservations about not outright owning the content of fan artwork - especially in regards to comics and copyright infringements (I'd never try to sell my fan comics as Katie has). I guess maybe I'd come to see fan art as nothing more than a waste of my artworking time because of those ownership issues - maybe that's a foolish way of looking at it, Idk.

I'm still not sure how I feel about it - if I start doing fan art again it's as though I've given up on that commitment I made at the beginning of the year - but I'm also a different person now so, Idk.

What to do?

I think you should draw what you want to draw. No one is forcing you to profit off it after all. In regards to Katie's comics I think what she brings to the table is her personal sense of humour. I don't think people are buying her book because it has their fav characters, they buy it because her writing (and omni's) is funny.

Time spent drawing is never a waste of your artworking time.

Draw what you feel like drawing whenever you feel like it, not drawing anything because of worries about ownership is a waste of your potential artworking time.

It does irk me when I see people selling prints and stuff of whatever character or franchise though. Selling an original drawing that's fan art or getting commissioned is fine, but kitsch mass produced prints feels like leeching off someone's intellectual property.

Maybe I'm just jealous cause I'm broke lol

Yeah, the kind of con stuff where people churn out thousands of keychains of popular characters is pretty offputting since most the time it's even kinda minimal effort in them too.

But I don't think there's a need to worry over this stuff. It's not like drawing it means you're going commercial and cashing in on someone else's work or popularity. It's a way to draw new things and keep drawing. Your interests will waver, but as long as you draw and challenge yourself, you'll become a better artist.

I'm just so done. With everything.

I feel like a bad person for laughing at a particular pizza name. Pineapple, ham, and jalapeno. It's called the Pearl Harbor.

Because it's a Hawaiian with japs.

Ho shit that's clever.
Insensitive, but clever.

Jokes aside that pizza sounds delicious.

Every time my Internet goes on the fritz, I imagine myself beating the guy in charge of my service provider to death with my laptop

I looked at a post I had looked at before on reddit about a bunch of 4channers going insane from a journal about synchronity and my internet has been going slower and I'm freaking out and don't know why.

whenever my internet goes out i get all these really good ideas because i've forced myself to reflect on everything