AWKWARD ZOMBIE

>suddenly realize you are in a fantasy world.
>wake up from fantasy.
>examine surroundings.

Methinks we should wait for Narwhal.

> Don't do that, you were about to become a super villain, and have an attractive side kick, with three less attractive but still quite handsome badger minions!

> dance until the next update

Darkin wrote:> think up awesome villian name for yourself
> thing up awesome villian name for Alice
> Dance

>You PONDER for a while, wondering just what kind of BADASS VILLAIN names you could have for ALICE. You eventually set on THE DUKE OF BADGERINGTON, and call ALICE the SUPER HO. Delighted with your brand new SUPER VILLAIN NAMES, you both DANCE.

Alexandy13 wrote:>Find a decent bar

>Order yourself & Alice drinks

>You ATTEMPT to find an exit so that you and SUPER HO might get some DRINKS. After SEVERAL HOURS of WANDERING AIMLESSLY, you and SUPER HO find yourselves in AISLE ONE HUNDRED TWENTY-THREE. You are now MORE LOST THAN EVER BEFORE.

Sloth wrote:> Take Alice to your LAIR
> Start working on making it cooler
> Go out and find Super Villain costumes

>If only you could FIND YOUR WAY OUT.

Snarf wrote:>Have sex with everything.

>Public FORNICATION is FROWNED UPON here in the BAT SHACK.

WILL THE ALMIGHTY wrote:>Find a way to turn the the ridiculous-ness of the current story to a point where it actually gets clever again and not just random.

>You LAUGH silently to yourself when you think how this STORY could ever have been CLEVER. You suddenly REALIZE that you are BREAKING the FOURTH WALL, and promptly SHUT UP.

Snarf wrote:>Try to detemine the actual intent of the narrator and their idea of how the story would go.

>The NARRATOR has no INTENT for the STORY, as it is ENTIRELY READER-DRIVEN.

Squigzog wrote:>suddenly realize you are in a fantasy world.
>wake up from fantasy.
>examine surroundings.

Sloth wrote:> Don't do that, you were about to become a super villain, and have an attractive side kick, with three less attractive but still quite handsome badger minions!

>You ponder WAKING UP for your FANTASY REALITY, but UNDERSTAND that your CURRENT REALITY is TOO BADASS to WAKE UP from. SUPER HO looks at you and INQUIRES as to what is TROUBLING you. Just as you are about to answer, THE BADGERS COME BACK with some sort of crazy BUTTON.
>Curious, you PRESS the BUTTON, as it looks very PRESSABLE. Who knows what could happen?
>There is a very BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT. You PASS OUT.


>You WAKE UP to find yourself in a CLEARING surrounded by LARGE TREES. ALICE and THE BADGERS are UNCONSCIOUS beside you. To your LEFT is a CAMPFIRE, to your RIGHT there is a TENT. In front of the TENT sits a CRAZY OLD MAN. He is staring at you with his LAZY EYE. It is really starting to CREEP YOU THE FUCK OUT.
>Exits are NORTH, and SOUTH

> Inventory

>Punch the old man in his old face

> Ask the Old man if he knows of any cities or towns that are nearby to conquer.
> Get on a buss, and return back to your LAIR

Sloth wrote:> Ask the Old man if he knows of any cities or towns that are nearby to conquer.
> Get on a buss, and return back to your LAIR

...wut?


>Find a bus.

Goddamnit I can't believe I still do that


even with spellcheck

Snarf wrote:>Have sex with everything.

Huh? I think my ears were burning....

paint a picture of your beloved zom tos

> dance until your dancing level goes up

Darkin wrote:> Inventory

>You are CARRYING NOTHING. You have a strange feeling that the CRAZY OLD MAN stole your BELONGINGS.

WrathAngerfist wrote:>Punch the old man in his old face

>Enraged that the CRAZY OLD MAN stole your belongings, you punch him in his CRAZY OLD FACE, landing a PUNCH square in his LAZY OLD EYE. He is now rustled at you. He informs you that THAT REALLY HURT and that he is HERE TO HELP YOU on your QUEST for AISLE THIRTEEN.
>You INFORM the CRAZY OLD MAN that he is CREEPING YOU THE FUCK OUT and to stop his CRAZY OLD LAZY EYE from being so daisies LAZY.
>He informs you that that HURT is CRAZY OLD MAN FEELINGS.
>You GOUGE out his CRAZY OLD MAN EYES.
>Obtained TWO CRAZY OLD MAN EYES.

Squigzog wrote:

Sloth wrote:> Ask the Old man if he knows of any cities or towns that are nearby to conquer.
> Get on a buss, and return back to your LAIR

...wut?


>Find a bus.

>The CRAZY OLD MAN, between his SCREAMS OF PAIN, informs you that you are in the MIDDLE of the WOODS, and there is NARY a TOWN for MILES. Therefore, there are no BUSES.

Fooflyer wrote:paint a picture of your beloved zom tos

>You lack a CANVAS and PAINT for your sudden STROKE OF GENIUS INSPIRATION. Where could you find SUCH A THING?

Darkin wrote:> dance until your dancing level goes up

>"NO!" you YELL to NO ONE IN PARTICULAR. "This is no TIME for DANCING. This is TIME for SCIENCE!"

>Exits are still NORTH and SOUTH.

> Go North