AWKWARD ZOMBIE

"From its beginning in 1919, Yugoslavia had been an artificial creation. The peace treaties at the end of World War I combined Serbs, Croats,and Slovenes into a new south Slave state called Yugoslavia (known until 1929 as the Kingdom of the Slavs, Croats, And Slovenes). After World War II, the dictatorial Marshal Tito had managed to hold the six republics and two autonomous provinces that constituted Yugoslavia together."

-Western Civilization, Jackson J. Spielvogel

"You, the mothers, who sent their sons from far away countries ...
Wipe away your tears.
Your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace.
After having lost their lives on this land, they have
Become our sons as well."
-Soldier Boy

A man is shaving with a straight-edged razor when the razor drops out of his hands and lops off his penis. He gathers it up, stuffs it in his pocket, rushes outside and hails a cab, telling the driver to get him to the emergency room fast.
There he tells the surgeon what happened and the surgeon says, "We'll have to work quickly. Give it to me."
The man reaches into his pocket and deposits its contents into the surgeon's hand.
"But this is a cigar," says the surgeon, "not a penis!"
And the man says, "Oh, my God, I must have smoked it in the cab." - from, Plato and a Platypus Walk into a Bar... Understanding Philosophy Through Jokes.

I lol'd

That was the closest book?

You never know when you'll have to find the Freudian influences behind the chicken crossing the road.

Penis.

You got your id in my peanut butter.

You got your peanut butter in my superego.

Oh man someone should make a Freud candy bar.

Butterpeni---er, finger.

Freudian Slip - when you say one thing but you actually my mother

I love you shotgun.

Xabyrn wrote:Freudian Slip

I had one of those.
I was having dinner with a friend and I was going to ask for the salt but instead I said "YOU FUCKING NIGGER."

Oh man did I laugh