I feel inadequate and mediocre.
Again.
Why do I even use the internet any more, I always end up in some stupid fucking emokid rut about how much I suck. All the fucking time.
Also: If I have to avoid that shitty wordfilter to "daisies" with stronger language then I will because Daisies is not a good enough word for how fucking shit I feel.
THANKS AZ WORDFILTER. YOU MADE THIS POST MORE VULGAR THAN IT HAD TO BE. LAV U
Bad day? Let Torizo tell you why you're still AWESOME.
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scebboaliwiw
- Posts: 5647
- Joined: Sun Jul 27, 2008 7:33 pm
- Location: Califormania
Decker, might I suggest such a tactic as "stop whining"? I mean, unless you're asking for advice, nobody really wants to hear about how good you are at self-depredation.
I... don't mean that I say the wrong things without realising it, I mean that I say things without realising that they're wrong things to say. Take, for example, that I only realised last year that calling someone boring is considered an insult!Decker wrote:All it takes is a little rewording before you click Submit. (That's how I do my best to avoid pissing people off)
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Decker
- turns everyone into furries
- Posts: 6668
- Joined: Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:14 pm
- Location: 7 out of 10 on the gender binary
Oh, okPlasma wrote:Decker, might I suggest such a tactic as "stop whining"? I mean, unless you're asking for advice, nobody really wants to hear about how good you are at self-depredation.
I... don't mean that I say the wrong things without realising itDecker wrote:All it takes is a little rewording before you click Submit. (That's how I do my best to avoid pissing people off)
Well someone "Stop whining, nobody wants to hear about your problems" is kind of a further kick in the teeth from what I've already had
Just sayin'
sadface
Give them some time to cool down. Or bake cookies! BUT ONLY IF YOU GIVE ME ONE.RikuKyuutu wrote:RikuKyuutu wrote:Torizo, I made one of my friends more uncomfortable than usual. If I bunny hopped over the line, and apologizing doesn't work, what do I do?
You seem to be going through a really difficult time. Just keep going, think of what makes you pop flyin', and find a way to cope with your depression. I think this might just be a phase, so just wait it out a little longer. We don't want to see our pop flyin' little sugar plum being sad!Decker wrote:I feel inadequate and mediocre.
Not much you can do except wait it out, Sceb. But you've only got a few more years left!scebboaliwiw wrote:My mom won't stop pretending that she helps when she only makes everything worse.
I've gotten THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST THE BEST of The Beast.Odds wrote:So Torizo
you are the best
I am the beast
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Miss Starseed
- Posts: 7469
- Joined: Thu Jul 05, 2007 5:13 pm
- Location: butts
Warning, long post ahead! Mostly full of responses!
Foo - I always appreciate help but asking makes me feel like I can't function on my own and am completely dependant. :/ Even if asking shows I'm smarter than pretending I know how to do something I don't.
At first I thought that he was constantly in a bad mood and rude to everyone, but then I saw him joking around with my trainer a lot, and wondered if it was only certain people/only me. But then there are also times my trainer won't do or say anything wrong and he'll act very coldly to her as well. So the conclusion I'm drawing is that he's just kind of a booty.
Tuxedo Mask and his family encourage me not to let it get to me either but I've always had the skin resistance of a wet tissue when it comes to being disliked/mistreated. I let it get to me way too much, but I'm working towards changing that. Just takes time, like everything else.
Decker - Oh, I do honestly think some of my co-workers are just coming off or acting like assholes because I'm still in training and I still make mistakes, and they will lighten up once I get the hang of things. Some people, however, like the asshole chef I don't see, or maybe even don't WANT to see, treating me better in the future, and my next shift or the one after (since they're one right after the other), I'm going to go to my manager and ask for a meeting to talk about my shifts and/or co-workers.
While it sounds cowardly to arrange my shifts to avoid someone instead of just standing up to them and telling them to treat me better, I don't know how much good it would do. As I said, I have seen him be an asshole to others, who are definitely not trainees. But I will bring up his attitude and see what kind of response I get. They've been hiring a lot so maybe they're thinking of firing someone; Fingers crossed I either hear the guy is just going through a really rough time and won't be like this forever, or that his constant asshole attitude isn't tolerated and he will either be reprimanded or let go completely. I feel like a douche for saying that now...
My trainer, however, I couldn't criticize completely. They don't seem to just take anyone aside for a day and train them fully, so asking for it would be like asking for special treatment. If my manager speaks to me though, I plan to bring up how I don't feel like I'm being trained properly because when she does train, usually I found out later either SHE made a mistake and now I have been doing the same thing repeatedly, or she simply isn't giving me good instruction. There are several things I still don't know how to make because they are simply never ordered, so she never teaches me even when I ask to learn how just in case, or she just... doesn't show me how to do it properly/at all in the first place. And then when it comes time to making it and I ask her how is when she treats me like an idiot, as I said staring at me like I'm retarded and making small comments and such. At least she's not as hostile as the chef guy though, but still, unappreciated attitude when I'm just trying to learn to do my job and make it easier for everyone involved.
Plasma - I didn't even know you took anyone's comments for more than face value. I thought you were just one of those guys that is self-assured and insults roll off their back no problem. I'm sorry you have to feel that way just trying to enjoy yourself on the forum. I can't say I apologize for giving you some hate sometimes though, because there are times when you say something really unappropriate and unnecessary. If you don't know it's hurtful though, it's not your fault, and you have the deceny to back out when you realize you've done wrong, which is admireable.
Tori - Oh, it's okay! Any repsonse is fine as long as it's not completely ignored. You have your own life to deal with.
That's what I'm hoping too. Even if it's my first job, I can understand the frustration others must feel working with someone new, but I feel some of the attitudes I'm getting are uncalled for because some of the people I haven't even done anything towards. If it was just my trainer or people I work with constantly getting annoyed with my constant questions and occassional fumbling, I'd be fine. But people who always work in a different part of the restaurant (best example, chef guy) and act totally hostile towards me or just treat me very rudely is very upseting to me. Right now I feel a lot better than I did while I made that post though, so I'm focusing on the positive that I might make some great friends eventually, once I get the hang of things. I think just... the combination of a lot of stuff in my life being new is getting to me. I'm already learning so much and getting lip for trying to learn really digs deep when it's not like I have a choice. Would they rather I did things without knowing how to? Noooo, so they should spare me some of the attitude, even if I'm being annoying with my inexperience.
The manager is COMPLETELY understanding, and she grew up in the friggen restaurant. I'd think she would get most annoyed seeing people making the same mistakes constantly, but even though it was years ago that she was new and fumbling, she still understands what it's like and doesn't act like she's superior just because she isn't a trainee. My actual boss? Is awesome. But the person training me and the ones I usually work with? Not so much. At least for now.
Tatzel - This job probably isn't cut out for me, but for the time being, even if I start coming home in tears every day or something, I'm going to do what I can to stick it out. Not completely for the cheddar, although that is a factor, but because I was waiting so long for one job offer, and I really feel my complete lack of any other work experience besides my time at the SPCA was hurting my chances. I don't want to leave my resume so blank, or look like I'm grasping at loose straws putting DQ on the list when I left so soon.
My first few days when I talked about how my co-workers attitudes were starting to get me down, Tuxedo Mask encouraged me to just tough it out for at least a month, and if things haven't improved, it'd be understandable if I quit and look for other work. When I came home in tears from my last shift though, he suddenly said if it was this bad I shouldn't put up with it and can quit right now if I wanted. Like I said though, I don't want too. Even after a month, if this treatment continues, I overheard my manager talking about resumes the other day, and she was criticizing people for putting down work experience when they had only been in the job for a month or two. She went up to four months, saying that still wasn't enough, but the other manager cut in saying four months was alright when we were looking at part-time working teenagers. Soooo... at the very least or worst, I'm going to do all I can to stay there for four months. And then if things haven't improved, I'm quitting, but at least I'll have something on my resume and have that slightly better chance of getting another job. Obviously I'm hoping things will improve, or just otherwise lighten up enough I could stand working there for five or six months, since both managers agreed that was a good, lengthy period of time to have worked somewhere before deciding to quit.
Foo - I always appreciate help but asking makes me feel like I can't function on my own and am completely dependant. :/ Even if asking shows I'm smarter than pretending I know how to do something I don't.
At first I thought that he was constantly in a bad mood and rude to everyone, but then I saw him joking around with my trainer a lot, and wondered if it was only certain people/only me. But then there are also times my trainer won't do or say anything wrong and he'll act very coldly to her as well. So the conclusion I'm drawing is that he's just kind of a booty.
Tuxedo Mask and his family encourage me not to let it get to me either but I've always had the skin resistance of a wet tissue when it comes to being disliked/mistreated. I let it get to me way too much, but I'm working towards changing that. Just takes time, like everything else.
Decker - Oh, I do honestly think some of my co-workers are just coming off or acting like assholes because I'm still in training and I still make mistakes, and they will lighten up once I get the hang of things. Some people, however, like the asshole chef I don't see, or maybe even don't WANT to see, treating me better in the future, and my next shift or the one after (since they're one right after the other), I'm going to go to my manager and ask for a meeting to talk about my shifts and/or co-workers.
While it sounds cowardly to arrange my shifts to avoid someone instead of just standing up to them and telling them to treat me better, I don't know how much good it would do. As I said, I have seen him be an asshole to others, who are definitely not trainees. But I will bring up his attitude and see what kind of response I get. They've been hiring a lot so maybe they're thinking of firing someone; Fingers crossed I either hear the guy is just going through a really rough time and won't be like this forever, or that his constant asshole attitude isn't tolerated and he will either be reprimanded or let go completely. I feel like a douche for saying that now...
My trainer, however, I couldn't criticize completely. They don't seem to just take anyone aside for a day and train them fully, so asking for it would be like asking for special treatment. If my manager speaks to me though, I plan to bring up how I don't feel like I'm being trained properly because when she does train, usually I found out later either SHE made a mistake and now I have been doing the same thing repeatedly, or she simply isn't giving me good instruction. There are several things I still don't know how to make because they are simply never ordered, so she never teaches me even when I ask to learn how just in case, or she just... doesn't show me how to do it properly/at all in the first place. And then when it comes time to making it and I ask her how is when she treats me like an idiot, as I said staring at me like I'm retarded and making small comments and such. At least she's not as hostile as the chef guy though, but still, unappreciated attitude when I'm just trying to learn to do my job and make it easier for everyone involved.
Plasma - I didn't even know you took anyone's comments for more than face value. I thought you were just one of those guys that is self-assured and insults roll off their back no problem. I'm sorry you have to feel that way just trying to enjoy yourself on the forum. I can't say I apologize for giving you some hate sometimes though, because there are times when you say something really unappropriate and unnecessary. If you don't know it's hurtful though, it's not your fault, and you have the deceny to back out when you realize you've done wrong, which is admireable.
Tori - Oh, it's okay! Any repsonse is fine as long as it's not completely ignored. You have your own life to deal with.
That's what I'm hoping too. Even if it's my first job, I can understand the frustration others must feel working with someone new, but I feel some of the attitudes I'm getting are uncalled for because some of the people I haven't even done anything towards. If it was just my trainer or people I work with constantly getting annoyed with my constant questions and occassional fumbling, I'd be fine. But people who always work in a different part of the restaurant (best example, chef guy) and act totally hostile towards me or just treat me very rudely is very upseting to me. Right now I feel a lot better than I did while I made that post though, so I'm focusing on the positive that I might make some great friends eventually, once I get the hang of things. I think just... the combination of a lot of stuff in my life being new is getting to me. I'm already learning so much and getting lip for trying to learn really digs deep when it's not like I have a choice. Would they rather I did things without knowing how to? Noooo, so they should spare me some of the attitude, even if I'm being annoying with my inexperience.
The manager is COMPLETELY understanding, and she grew up in the friggen restaurant. I'd think she would get most annoyed seeing people making the same mistakes constantly, but even though it was years ago that she was new and fumbling, she still understands what it's like and doesn't act like she's superior just because she isn't a trainee. My actual boss? Is awesome. But the person training me and the ones I usually work with? Not so much. At least for now.
Tatzel - This job probably isn't cut out for me, but for the time being, even if I start coming home in tears every day or something, I'm going to do what I can to stick it out. Not completely for the cheddar, although that is a factor, but because I was waiting so long for one job offer, and I really feel my complete lack of any other work experience besides my time at the SPCA was hurting my chances. I don't want to leave my resume so blank, or look like I'm grasping at loose straws putting DQ on the list when I left so soon.
My first few days when I talked about how my co-workers attitudes were starting to get me down, Tuxedo Mask encouraged me to just tough it out for at least a month, and if things haven't improved, it'd be understandable if I quit and look for other work. When I came home in tears from my last shift though, he suddenly said if it was this bad I shouldn't put up with it and can quit right now if I wanted. Like I said though, I don't want too. Even after a month, if this treatment continues, I overheard my manager talking about resumes the other day, and she was criticizing people for putting down work experience when they had only been in the job for a month or two. She went up to four months, saying that still wasn't enough, but the other manager cut in saying four months was alright when we were looking at part-time working teenagers. Soooo... at the very least or worst, I'm going to do all I can to stay there for four months. And then if things haven't improved, I'm quitting, but at least I'll have something on my resume and have that slightly better chance of getting another job. Obviously I'm hoping things will improve, or just otherwise lighten up enough I could stand working there for five or six months, since both managers agreed that was a good, lengthy period of time to have worked somewhere before deciding to quit.
For reference, telling someone to stop whining will always get you hate from others unless you have obviously put up with the person for a long time as a good friend and your patience has reached its limits. Otherwise you look like a jerk and it just translates into "You're not allowed to express your feelings! Ever!" And sometimes even if you HAVE been a good friend and been there for them, if your patience reaches its limit and you tell them to just stop it at the wrong time, everyone can still turn against you if it wasn't the right time to say something like that. Socializing is hard. :[Plasma wrote:Decker, might I suggest such a tactic as "stop whining"? I mean, unless you're asking for advice, nobody really wants to hear about how good you are at self-depredation.
I... don't mean that I say the wrong things without realising it, I mean that I say things without realising that they're wrong things to say. Take, for example, that I only realised last year that calling someone boring is considered an insult!Decker wrote:All it takes is a little rewording before you click Submit. (That's how I do my best to avoid pissing people off)
