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Post by **DarkSurfer** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:05 pm

I don't see how that could change, really. Though I think I understand what you're getting at.

Tall-Hatted Yanimae · Post by **Tall-Hatted Yanimae** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:12 pm

Quoting myself from Skype when Dark mentioned about Karilyn calling her Girlfriend her "partner".

On 1/16/10, at 10:57 AM, The Big Cheese wrote:
> She's not your "partner", fuckwit. She's your girlfriend.
On 1/16/10, at 10:58 AM, Miss Fangirl Bunyip wrote:
>I'm reminded of something from "Shit my Dad says"
> "Stop bitching about getting a ticket. You aren't a civil rights leader in the movement. You double parked."

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:15 pm

I had someone a few weeks ago try to get all snooty and philosophical with me, trying to prove that there was a point to her having gotten a Philosophy Major in college.

Standard crap. "What is [Insert word here] really?" Sorta crap.

I eventually got fed up with her, and was like... "Happiness, forever, love, [whole list of words she was doing], are all sounds produced by vibration of the vocal cords of the species homo sapiens, particularly the ones which speak the language known as English, in an attempt to communicate a concept which may or may not be universal among all humans in all languages, and may or may not even have the same meaning among English speakers 100 years from now or 100 years ago, and is utterly meaningless to roughly 75-80% of the human population.

Thus for all intensive purposes all words are just sounds."

She got so flipping rustled off at me. I'm such a smart booty

Tall-Hatted Yanimae wrote:Quoting myself from Skype when Dark mentioned about Karilyn calling her Girlfriend her "partner".

On 1/16/10, at 10:57 AM, The Big Cheese wrote:
> She's not your "partner", fuckwit. She's your girlfriend.
On 1/16/10, at 10:58 AM, Miss Fangirl Bunyip wrote:
>I'm reminded of something from "Shit my Dad says"
> "Stop bitching about getting a ticket. You aren't a civil rights leader in the movement. You double parked."

I actually usually call her my lifemate.

Girlfriend is awkward to call her, cause a girlfriend or boyfriend is someone you are dating. We haven't been dating for years. We are in a lifelong commitment. But saying wife sounds funny, cause then we are wives, and that makes us sound like mormons.

So I use partner or lifemate. In conversation with people who don't know we are lesbians, I usually say "spouse."

EDIT: I'm also confused what Dark is talking about, as I don't remember talking about her anytime recently on the forum. Though I could be forgetting a post I made.

Post by **DarkSurfer** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:24 pm

It just bothers me, a lot. I just don't understand at all. How does having a wife sound mormon? I just don't get that. You're in a relationship. You're living with someone, you love them, and you're together. That is a relationship. The whole REBEL AGAINST THE DEFINITION thing just baffles me. Why does it have to be complicated.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:36 pm

The Big Cheese wrote:It just bothers me, a lot. I just don't understand at all. How does having a wife sound mormon? I just don't get that. You're in a relationship. You're living with someone, you love them, and you're together. That is a relationship. The whole REBEL AGAINST THE DEFINITION thing just baffles me. Why does it have to be complicated.

It's not that wife sounds mormon. It's when referring to the two of us as a plurality, that makes us "wives".

It's not intended to be a rebellion against the definition. I don't know any couples that have been married for years calling each other their girlfriend or boyfriend. They call each other husband and wife.

Honestly, hell, I go with "spouse" most of the time, because like Yanimae said, I'm NOT a civil rights leader. Sailor Moon/partner/wife/WHATEVER is extremely butch, and most people just assume we are husband and wife. Saying "spouse" is the easiest way for me to avoid real-life drama, without lying.

It only opens a great big can of drama-llamas to say "Oh no, that's not my husband, that's my extremely butch lesbian wife"

For that reason, it's best to avoid terms like wife, and by an extension of the earlier statement, girlfriend.

...
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Face to face? We call each other "lifemates", cause it's sweet. In our minds, it's a term that means more than married. Married people get divorced all the time. I mean hell, something like 50+% of all marriages in America end in divorce. Marriage is almost meaningless, in my mind, in this day and age. "Lifemates" is our little way of saying "We are together for life"

Why do I usually say partner online? Cause I can put homophobic assholes on ignore and not have to talk to them anymore. That, combined with the fact that "partner" is a very comfortable, commonly accepted term for "gay or lesbian relationship" and so EVERYONE knows what I'm talking about, without having to go into an explanation of "No, I'm not a man. Yes, I'm a woman. Yes, Yes I said wife. No I'm not a mormon. Yes I'm a lesbian."

Post by **DarkSurfer** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:44 pm

I just think, "oh, those two girls are in a relationship, they're each others girlfriends". Same with two men. Heterosexual, Homosexual, doesn't matter. When I see two people in a relationship, they're boyfriend/girlfriend. Well, except fuckbuddies, but I'm not a fan of that practice.

I like explanations, I'm a man of logic. I'll admit I put it like that in chat cause I'm not in a particularly good mood, I apologize for it. It's just confusing. I'm a man who loves explanations, but likes life simple.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:49 pm

Honestly, I could say the same thing about girlfriend/boyfriend.

Personally, I was never fond of dating. I always found the concept really weird. And you don't need to try and explain it to me, because people have done so plenty of times in the past.

I just generally subscribe more to the camp that is like, "real love comes out of friendship". And thus that's another part of the reason girlfriend sounds weird to me, because I've never considered her Sailor Moon. She was my friend, then she was my lover, and now we are together for life. There was no real dating stage in there, as far as I reckon.

Then again, what do I know of you strange heteros and your unusual mating habits?

Tall-Hatted Yanimae · Post by **Tall-Hatted Yanimae** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 4:53 pm

No I agree with you. I'm not a huge fan of the "See a guy, ask him out then DATE AND THAT'S HOW YOU GUYS GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER".

I would be so much more willing to date a guy if I knew him first as a friend. I feel the best relationships can come from friendships.

For the longest time I've thought that way was the best way and I'm sticking to it.

DoNotDelete · Post by **DoNotDelete** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:09 pm

I kinda like a girl at work but I don't know whether to ask her if she'd like to see a movie sometime or something.

If it didn't work out it could potentially make working together difficult/awkward.

Tall-Hatted Yanimae · Post by **Tall-Hatted Yanimae** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:12 pm

How long have you known her? Do you guys talk much?

DoNotDelete · Post by **DoNotDelete** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:17 pm

I've only been talking to her at work for a few months, we talk a little, and she knows about what happened with my mother recently.

I just think we're on the same kind of level humour-wise.

I'd like to go out with her as a friend first really, see if there's really something there.

Maybe I'll just ask her if she'd like to see a movie, no pressure on it being anything more - but it's difficult to do that if it's only two people going to a movie.

Hnngh... maybe I'll just ask and see what happens.

Xabyrn · Post by **Xabyrn** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 5:17 pm

I never understood people who say that you shouldn't date your best friend. That prevents awkward conversation! :awesome:

Decker · Post by **Decker** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:42 pm

I think "best friend" refers to someone who has no feelings for you in that way.

It has to be mutual before it can work.

DnD, I suggest taking her to get a snack after work or something and just get conversation rolling before diving into something like a movie. If there's nothing there, you don't wanna be next to someone for 1~2 hours where you can't talk about it.

Kalekemo · Post by **Kalekemo** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:51 pm

Personally, I only date people that have become my friends. There's no point in asking a random stranger out when you know nothing about them

Sloth · Post by **Sloth** » Sat Jan 16, 2010 6:52 pm

I really wish I did that.

But instead, I started dating a random girl that one of her friends set us up to go to a dance.

One of our mutual friends asked if we were going out, I felt pressured, and said "sure".
One year later, we finally break up.

AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Taboo Topics (Heavily moderated)

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