Taboo Topics (Heavily moderated)

Miss Starseed · Post by **Miss Starseed** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:32 pm

I guess when it comes down to it, I wouldn't like a fuckbuddy because I want sex to be about love, and if they want to find out how to please me, I want them to want to be with me so they can find out. Not because I'm giving it up and they just want to make the sex better.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:43 pm

Miss StarSeed wrote:I want sex to be about love.

The way I view sex, is it's something fun to do. Like playing Scrabble (Shut up, we both love Scrabble). Or playing videogames.

We play videogames with each other a lot. Sometimes she plays videogames with her friends, and sometimes I play videogames with my friends. And sometimes her friends, and my friends, and us all get together and play videogames with each other in a really big videogame tournament. Lawl massive orgy innuendo. No, no we don't do that.

Torizo · Post by **Torizo** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:29 pm

Yeah okay I have no idea what's going on anymore.

You can love someone without having sex. It doesn't matter as long as two people love each other and are faithful. Yes, I'm a hopeless romantic.

Post by **Merlin** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 3:32 pm

Dinner plate nipples.

Also Karilyn you are as tactless as they come.

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:39 pm

Since we're still on the topic: I don't like casual sex in general, simply because it makes people too obsessed about sex, as well as the whole pregnancy/diseases schtick. But beyond that, I don't see anything wrong with having casual sex in an open relationship, presuming that both people are distinctly clear that it is an open relationship.

Karilyn wrote:
Plasma wrote:Caring about your partner is all about love, and doing things for them instead of just for you!
Love is nice. Love is wonderful. Love is not immortal. And some other stuff that can be summed up/buchered into "have sex lots".

I know love can go away, but not like that! Love goes away when the couple stop looking after each oter, stop trying to get involved in what the other does. Or, in other words... just stop being in love, and don't try to be. It's not because one of them realised that the other one doesn't have interpersonal skills at all; at least, it shouldn't be for anyone who isn't really shallow!

Karilyn wrote:You're an asshole to me, and I'm an asshole to you.

Also, just to say, I don't mean to be an asshole to you. I have nothing against you.

Post by **Superior Bacon** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:39 pm

Back to my original point about being faithful:

What defines 'cheating'? Is it just having sex with someone else? Is it being in love/lust/whatever with someone else? Where does flirting stop and cheating start?

Also wow sex talk in this thread.

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:45 pm

Bacon wrote:What defines 'cheating'? Is it just having sex with someone else? Is it being in love/lust/whatever with someone else? Where does flirting stop and cheating start?

Loving or lusting after someone isn't, as long as it doesn't go anywhere. After that, it depends entirely on the partner!

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:49 pm

Bacon wrote:What defines 'cheating'? Is it just having sex with someone else? Is it being in love/lust/whatever with someone else? Where does flirting stop and cheating start?

I define cheating as: Anytime you have an interaction with a person and feel the need to hide it from your partner because you know it would hurt them to find out.

Which is a weird convoluted definition, but at the same time, I think it applies to every possibly variation of cheating and relationship. Open or closed relationships. Flirting, cybering, dating, sex. Whether you care about the person you are currently with or not.

If you feel the need to hide it, that means it's a form of cheating.

Torizo · Post by **Torizo** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 5:57 pm

That's a very good way to put it, Karilyn. I'd say I'd have to agree.

Xeraphem · Post by **Xeraphem** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:09 pm

I'd have to agree with both Plasma and Karilyn on this one. *waiting for the lightning bolt.*

Crawfish · Post by **Crawfish** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:13 pm

Everyone wrote:Lots of sex.

Aaaahhhh.

I do have to say that every healthy relationship I know of lasts because the people have really good sexual chemistry. My parents, bless them, have been together for 30 years and, well...You get it.

Casual sex can be fine if you're safe about it, I think. There are days when I just want to grab someone in Calculus and just go crazy, but that's frowned upon. Other days (probs the majority of the time) I just want a relationship where sex just eventually sprouts from a lovely sex sapling into a glorious intercourse tree.

Xeraphem · Post by **Xeraphem** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:21 pm

What fruit does this tree bear? =_0

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:22 pm

Crawfish wrote:a glorious intercourse tree.

Somebody's been reading Xenocide!

Well okay, the alien dudes probably don't have intercourse with the trees, but try and tell me that wasn't the first thing you thought of when you heard that the trees made the females pregnant!

Miss Starseed · Post by **Miss Starseed** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:30 pm

Karilyn wrote:
Bacon wrote:What defines 'cheating'? Is it just having sex with someone else? Is it being in love/lust/whatever with someone else? Where does flirting stop and cheating start?
I define cheating as: Anytime you have an interaction with a person and feel the need to hide it from your partner because you know it would hurt them to find out.

Which is a weird convoluted definition, but at the same time, I think it applies to every possibly variation of cheating and relationship. Open or closed relationships. Flirting, cybering, dating, sex. Whether you care about the person you are currently with or not.

If you feel the need to hide it, that means it's a form of cheating.

Sort of this, but not quite as extreme. There is a point where flirting will cross a line, but how far away that line is will always be different for me because of a lot of factors. Like, who are they flirting with? Why are they flirting? What is the tone of their voices like? Have I had a history of being jealous of this person? Does my lover know of any past jealousy I have felt towards this person, and if they do, are they doing it on purpose? That's not really what I would call cheating, but it still bothers me and I would bring it up as a problem.

Any kind of sneaking off/keeping secrets of a sexual nature (meaning talking about/arranging plans for sex, foreplay, any kind of intercourse, etc.) be they online or offline though is a definite "don't you fucking dare" with me though.

Xeraphem · Post by **Xeraphem** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 7:40 pm

I guess that's why communication is so important in relationships, open or not. Learn where the lines are and how not to cross them. Whether you do or not after effective communication is your own problem, but if rules are set, compromised, and agreed upon, there (in theory) should be no problem seeing what irks your significant other.