Taboo Topics (Heavily moderated)

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:45 pm

The Big Cheese wrote:Most people frown upon that.

Most people are boring and caught up in social stigma.

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:45 pm

Umm... I'm confused. First we were talking about people being loyal, then someone said people can't be loyal because of sex...? Then we've got... people just talking about casual sex? I mean, they're not even on a topic, they're just stating any opinions you have about casual sex.

What?

Karilyn wrote:
Miss StarSeed wrote:But it is widely believed that if you can please one person, you can please any person and that makes you a ladies man/woman/whatever.
Eh, I don't believe that

....

Level 10: Very "Skilled" person... "facebattle her body, give good head, fuck her slowly, caress her body, blah blah"

Err... mixed messages there, Karilyn.

Post by **DarkSurfer** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:47 pm

Karilyn wrote:
The Big Cheese wrote:Most people frown upon that.
Most people are boring and caught up in social stigma.

No, see, most people frown upon that because they care enough about their partners to not go fuck around with other people.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:47 pm

Plasma wrote:Err... mixed messages there, Karilyn.

Apparently you missed this part...

Karilyn wrote:CRANK IT UP TO ELEVEN

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:48 pm

So your point is... that they can go 'up a level' if they know their partner well enough, but only if they're already brilliant at sex in the first place?

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:50 pm

Plasma wrote:So your point is... that they can go 'up a level' if they know their partner well enough, but only if they're already brilliant at sex in the first place?

Or you know, give enough of a rat's fuck to actually want to pleasure their partner.

Geeze, that's the problem with you kids these days. Ya don't communicate with each other in your relationships.

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:53 pm

Karilyn wrote:Or you know, give enough of a rat's fuck to actually want to pleasure their partner.

Wait, you mean that if you're not good at sex, it's interpreted as that you don't care for your significant other?! Oh wow, Torizo's right, the glorified view of sex does ruin relationships!

Post by **DarkSurfer** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:55 pm

Karilyn wrote:
Plasma wrote:So your point is... that they can go 'up a level' if they know their partner well enough, but only if they're already brilliant at sex in the first place?
Or you know, give enough of a rat's fuck to actually want to pleasure their partner.

Geeze, that's the problem with you kids these days. Ya don't communicate with each other in your relationships.

There is more to a relationship than just sex. This must be mind blowing to you.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 1:57 pm

Plasma wrote:
Karilyn wrote:Or you know, give enough of a rat's fuck to actually want to pleasure their partner.
Wait, you mean that if you're not good at sex, it's interpreted as that you don't care for your significant other?!!

Because sex isn't a skill that is completely learnable without much effort. Because it isn't a skill that you should learn if you care about your partner's happiness, instead of just your own selfish needs. /sarcasm

Part of actually caring about your partner is working on certain interpersonal skills such as communication, and YES, sex too.

Plasma · Post by **Plasma** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:03 pm

Karilyn wrote:Because sex isn't a skill that is completely learnable without much effort.

Yeah, umm.... no. No, that... no. No it's not.

I'm not really sure if there's any way to argue about it.

Karilyn wrote:Part of actually caring about your partner is working on certain interpersonal skills such as communication, and YES, sex too.

Wait... wait... WHAT?! No! No, not even remotely! Caring about your partner is all about love, and doing things for them instead of just for you! Just about any sort of skills shouldn't need to be involved at all, unless you're an extremely shallow person!

I mean, Sailor Moon suffers from extreme shyness and can't even speak normally because of it! Does that mean that she doesn't love me?!

Miss Starseed · Post by **Miss Starseed** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:11 pm

You can know how to please your partner and still not be able to do it.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:16 pm

Plasma wrote:Caring about your partner is all about love, and doing things for them instead of just for you!

Love is nice. Love is wonderful. Love is not immortal.

It's easy to talk about one true loves, and faerie tales, and all that good stuff.

But the reality is, and you can ask any couple that has been together for a long time, that love takes work, and constant upkeep. It isn't a perpetual motion device. You must put time and energy into it.

I understand that you have a girlfriend right now Plasma, and I'm not trying to discourage you. I hope that it blossoms into a relationship that will make you both pop flyin' for ages to come. You're an asshole to me, and I'm an asshole to you. But I don't wish ill-will on you.

However, I'm going to be blunt. If you think a relationship doesn't take real work to make it work, then you haven't been in a relationship for a very long time yet. The warm fuzzy feeling of being "In Love" fades eventually with everyone. And unless both partners put in effort to upkeep it, the love will die.

Part of the reason divorce is so common nowadays, is because few people actually attempt to foster growth in their relationship. What can I say; which is worse? "Till Death Do Us Part" with someone you have no love for? Or divorce because the love is gone? Personally, I care not for either.

Post by **DarkSurfer** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:19 pm

Well, you take love out of the equation, then all that's left is really sex. A relationship is based on two people who love and care for each other. If its just sex that you have between two people its called having a fuckbuddy.

Miss Starseed · Post by **Miss Starseed** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:30 pm

How the fuck did we switch from casual sex is uncommon and frowned upon/knowing your partner is the key to good sex to love takes work and everything doesn't come easily? I don't even see where Plasma ever implied that. o_O

Casual sex in general - me no like.
Casual sex in an open relationship - If your definition of "casual" means I have spent at least several months talking to them and feel that I could trust them enough to sleep with them, then yes, I guess I like "casual" sex in an open relationship.
Knowing your partner = better sex - Yes.
Do you still need sexual experience to be able to please your partner? - I think it depends on how your partner likes to be pleased. If your partner likes it hard and rough and you can only do that for a very short periods of time, then I doubt the sex is going to be as great as it could be. You still know how to please them - you just can't please them as well as someone else who's more experienced might be able to, but then... they didn't take the time to get to know your partner's likes either.

Karilyn · Post by **Karilyn** » Tue Oct 13, 2009 2:30 pm

The Big Cheese wrote:Well, you take love out of the equation, then all that's left is really sex. A relationship is based on two people who love and care for each other. If its just sex that you have between two people its called having a fuckbuddy.

Agree. Though there is something else that can be left... I know there is a specific term for it, but I can't remember the term, so I'll just call it a zombie relationships.

Healthy Relationship: Both people desire the relationship, and foster growth within it.
Zombie Relationship: Neither really cares anymore, they are just together for some reason, maybe children, or whatever. Used to love, but don't anymore.

I personally don't really consider a fuckbuddy on the same level as a partner. There's a reason that one of it's synonyms is "Friend with Benefits." A fuckbuddy is a friend, not a partner.

....

@Starseed:

I figure, a lot of healthy introverted partners don't actually have that much sex. And as long as both partners are cool and pop flyin' with that, then that's awesome. The great big dumbing down of everything is "It all comes down to communication."