AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Cast maggot missiles.

Slam your fist on the desk in front of you (or the closest thing you can smash your fist on that isn't the interviewer) in a fit of anger, and then quickly excuse the action by saying,

"DAMMIT, MAN! IF YOU DON'T GIVE ME THIS JOB, YOU COULD LOSE YOUR'S!!"

You don't have time to ponder the holes in this line of action. IT'S JUST GO TIME!

Start to recount old war stories.

You slam your fist down in rage and go on in a rant about the importance of this. The intewrviewer cowers in fear and gives you the job.

The next day a red army van stops by your house. You say goodbye to your family and get in. The driver introduces himeself as the R.E.D. Sniper nicknamed Ausie, and explains that he's gonna drive you to the bunker where you will meet your fellow teammates. On the long ride you decide to have some fun and make some split personalities. You name one Inigo Montoya, which is your ruthless side, and the other Charlotte, your merciful side.

You start to wonder if your other teammates will except you. Then you wonder what weapons you will be supplied with.
Then you wonder if you left the stove on.

Persuade 'Aussie' to pick up some fast-food on the way.

Ask Aussie about the base, in the hopes of learning about your co-workers/team mates and what weapon you might receive.

You are also hungry. Ask to stop for fast food as well.

do a barrel roll

On the ride to the bunker you remember that you forgot to eat breakfast. You ask Aussie if you can stop for some fast food.
"Sure, Mate! I know a place around this area. Oh, there it is!"
Aussie pulls in to a Truck stop called Crappies Burgers. After you both get a combo and chat a bit. When you get back in the van, you continue to the Bunker.

When you get to the bunker, Aussie opens the door to the van. You go inside and are greeted by a large russian man.
"HELLO, AUSSIE!" He booms. WHO IS THIS BABY?"
Aussie explains you to the large man.
"AH, YOU ARE SOLIDER? ANNOUNCER WANTS ALL CLASSES IN CENTRAL ROOM. NOW!"

Go to the central room in style.

Attempt to show how great a Soldier you really are by calling them all maggots.

Very loudly.

Fooflyer wrote:Unnamed dastardly rival shows up.

YES.

gigoergong wrote:

Fooflyer wrote:Unnamed dastardly rival shows up.

YES.

Nah, there's no way he'd show up this early. Now, when you're in Dustbowl, are low on HP, but are about to cap the final point, that's when he'd show up!

I will update later in the day., just let me think about these strange-booty commands.

You and your group walk to the central room of the bunker befor Aussie remembers that you must change into uniform first. They give you a army suit and helmet.
You recived BATTLE WEAR! You put it on and put your NORMAL WEAR in your inventory. The helmet is much to big.
You enter the central room and see6 other people sitting in chairs. You, Aussie and the russian man sit in the 3 remaining chairs.

START TELLING THE RUSSIAN 'In Soviet Russia' Jokes. And/or ask for Steroids and Vodka.