Short Story Time

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lyra/dicks
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Post by lyra/dicks »

Well I was told to post some of the stuff I write. So, I guess I'll post this weird little tidbit from what I've been working on recently. I'm not too pop flyin' with it, I feel like I go off-topic too much.

Not a short story, just part of a much longer story. Figured this was the best place to put it.
my gmail account draft thing wrote:Being alone in a big house is frightening. Being alone in an apartment is... much less so. Or so I observed as I stared at the blank walls, practically mocking me with their emptiness. I have this thing about being alone, and I usually can't take it for a long time. So I'd been reluctant to move even to such a small space as this apartment, even with only one tiny closet-sized bathroom, a kitchen with little to no room for dining, a living room just big enough for a couch and TV, and my own bedroom. It was a Sunday. I hate Sundays. There's that dread of having to go to bed early and wake up even earlier. Tomorrow's Monday, the walls whispered to me at that moment in time. In my opinion, they should just rid of Mondays. But then we'd have the Tuesday Blues, wouldn't we? There was just no winning. I sighed and leaned back on the couch. It was lumpy, but comfortable enough for me to rest.

My name's Alex Shine. And to clear it up, no that is not pronounced your typical conventional way. Somewhere back in the deepest bowels of time my ancestors thought it would be funny to pronounce it like "sheen." These are the types of things I contemplate in my downtime. Really, when you have time to be shrewd and wry, you should practice as much as you can. You never know when you'll need it in life. I guess you could say I'm your typical fresh-out-of-College youngster. Straw blonde hair that goes to my shoulders, a little taller than average, a little bulkier than average, and a face that in the wrong (or right, depending on how you look at it) might be described as handsome. It's hard to be naturally pop flyin' when you go through life looking as normal as I do, and my "blending into the crowd" skills are beyond exceptional. But as I lounged contentedly in the comfort of my own home, things started to go wrong.

There was a knock at the door. There's always a knock at your door, when things start to go wrong. It's like a pager saying "Hello, here's trouble." But it had been several years since my last experience with adventure, so I was hardly expecting it right that instant. I got up and answered it, barely even sighing, which is a first for me. It turned out to be a ratty-looking man with a package. My first thought was, I didn't order anything. And then he spoke. "Alex Shine?" He asked. That was when I knew something was up.

He'd pronounced it the right way.

I studied him for a second. I was taller than him by a few inches, and he regarded me nervously, hat dropped over his eyes. His eyes. They were a deep, dark red. I took a step backwards, grabbing the door handle, twisting it, ready to slam the door in his face. No. I was not going back. What did they need me for, anyway? I was used to being fast enough to escape, so it took me by surprise when he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of the doorway. He yanked hard enough to make me fall from the doorstep to my knees, and I swore under my breath. And then, before I could even shout for help (not that it would have been of much use), I felt a dropping sensation in the pit of my stomach. Despite my terror I felt as if I should be holding up a sign with "Uh-oh" written on it. And then everything went black.

But not the black you get when your mind blanks out and you collapse. Oh no, it was pitch black, but I was still very much awake. This made me panic much more than it would have if I had, say, seen different colors dancing around me. Colors means a bad trip; black means something ominous approaches. And I felt like I was falling, although no wind whipped around me. I contemplated all of this rather quickly, given that time doesn't pass in what by common definition might be a wormhole in the fabric of the universe. I tell you, when you pass through that hole and back to reality, you'd best close your eyes. The first time it happened to me, I'd been blinded for almost a whole minute. When I opened them again, I was in a circular room. And surrounding me on all sides were monsters of all different shapes and sizes.

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Post by Superior Bacon »

There's a lot of unnecessary details, imo.
[5:06:23 PM] Yeili: this is kind of cool, i've beaten a murderer in mario party.
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Post by lyra/dicks »

Sorry. A long time ago I was told to include more detail in what I write, and now I put in way too much. vOv Since this is more the expositional part of the story, even more so.

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Post by lyra/dicks »

Derp derp derp derp okay this'll be the last little excerpt.
the document I just now moved to Google docs so I could use my tab key wrote:The twitchy little man stepped away from me, twisting his hat from side to side. "S-sir..." He mumbled, sidling away. He removed the wide brimmed hat, and I took note of the tiny little horns jutting out of his head. At the moment, I was too shocked to say anything witty. I was too shocked to even manage a measly "where am I?" So I stared, wide-eyed, like an idiot. There's no word for that kind of forboding terror, where you think you know what's coming next and yet you pray to God it doesn't happen. It happened.
"Ms. Shine?" The ocean of monsters parted way for a wiry man with dark brown hair and a noticeably pointed beard. His voice wasn't all that deep. You might even go so far to call it... pleasant. "Do you have a moment?" I probably stared at his face a moment before I found my tongue.
"Do I have a moment?" I spat out. "Do I actually have a choice? Why no, sir, I do not have a moment, and I would very much like to go home now." Anger replaced fear now. It was my natural defense mechanism, like the puffer fish making itself bigger to frighten away enemies. Of course it also had the extra luxury of being poisonous, which is like a middle finger to whoever managed to eat it anyway, but I'm afraid that's not within my abilities. Besides, these people didn't want to eat me. They wanted to employ me.
I saw his face contort slightly, but whatever emotion it conveyed I couldn't quite catch it. He clasped his hands, sighing. He was wearing a suit. Why in the name of God was he wearing a suit? "I was afraid you might say that, Ms. Shine." Really, it was quite hot in there, he should have been sweating. "I heard tales of your poisonous-"
"Venomous." I interjected. He gave me a blank look. What a joker. "You probably should have said venomous, for you see, venom is injected into the bloodstream while poison is ingested. Unless you plan on eating me, poison would be quite useless." I gave him a sweet smile, determined not to lose my mind.
Once again, there was that twitch. He had great control over himself, and this was information I filed away for later. My foe was formidable. "Very well then, as you wish. Venomous nature. But as I was saying before you interrupted me-"
"Sorry."
I got to him this time. He threw his arms up in the air, exasperated. "Ms. Shine, if you would please just listen to me, I could explain everything and we wouldn't have to resort to alternative methods!" A whisper passed through the crowd of monsters. I took this to mean that they knew exactly what alternative methods would be, and from the smiles on their faces it wouldn't be pleasant. It was at that moment I gave in. I really, really wanted to know exactly what the deal was. But first, I had to make something clear.
"My good sir, I would appreciate it if you called me Miss Shine. Ms. Shine makes me feel old." Miss Shine wasn't much better, but I'd have to get used to it if I wanted to be employed as a teacher. The man nodded, eager to continue his explanation.
"You may address me as Kuro. Just Kuro. Not sir, for we are equals here." I almost groaned. One of these guys. "I understand you saved our land from disaster, oh... About eight years ago? You would have been about seventeen, maybe eighteen years of age? I am impressed. I wish to enlist your help in my army. Of course, you shall get the highest honor. You will even be promoted from Hero."
I blinked. "What can possibly be higher than Hero?" The people in this land worshipped their Heroes to death. It wasn't a title, it was a job.
He smiled in response, a rather nasty smile that revealed his true character. "Why, Villain of course."

And that was where it really began.
And that basically reveals the plot.

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Post by Game Angel »

Ms is used for a woman who does not wish to disclose her marital status.
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Post by lyra/dicks »

it is also used by students who cannot remember whether their teacher is a Miss or a Missus. See: Almost everyone.

Also, the "handsome" might have thrown you for a loop there. Handsome can also be used to describe who no one in their right mind would call pretty, or beautiful. But they're not bad-looking enough to be called ugly.
Last edited by lyra/dicks on Fri Apr 16, 2010 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

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Post by Kalekemo »

Everyone ignored me ;-;
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Post by Superior Bacon »

Thus is the nature of this thread.
[5:06:23 PM] Yeili: this is kind of cool, i've beaten a murderer in mario party.
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Post by Game Angel »

Um, Kale, I can't critique things, but I liked the script, and um yes.
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Post by Doormaster »

So someone gave me the idea for a short story that I think is kind of interesting. Basically it's got a society in which women can't vote, but many get sex changes to get around it. I've only just started it, but I'd like to see what people think of the idea/what I have so far.
The building was big and flashy, a sharp contrast to the overcast day. It was massive and white, probably about twelve stories high, with faux-roman columns standing sentinel outside the enormous wooden doors. The lawn was immaculate. The grass stood at full disciplined attention and there was nary a frivolous PANK flamingo or plastic windmill in sight. It was the jewel of the well-to-do neighborhood; the surrounding structures almost looked subservient to it in their lesser statures and distance from it.

Sam Reynolds frowned at it slightly as he adjusted his tie. He didn’t have anything against rich people or their choice in housing, but this one in particular tended to make him feel small and pointless, like there was nothing he could do in life of any significance. If Sam could have had his way, he would have just avoided the area so he wouldn’t have to look at it, but the job he had taken with the Census Bureau put a damper on that plan. He’d had to spend a lot of time in that particular neighborhood and had definitely gotten himself an eyeful of that house, but he had never actually gone inside of it. In his imagination it was like a museum with priceless works of art on the walls and strange deco furniture everywhere. The idea that people actually lived there seemed sort of strange, but there was no mistaking the assignment he’d received to go and speak with its owners.

Making one last check to make sure his off-the-rack suit was in good order Sam picked up his black briefcase and began carefully making his way towards the monolithic structure; carelessly strolling up to it almost seemed blasphemous somehow.

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Post by Spoony »

Seems entirely disconnected to your idea so far, but I like. Do more.

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Post by Trygve »

Your challenge is to write crossover fanfiction combining Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog and Grease. The story should use drug abuse as a plot device!




"Mwahahahahahaha," the laughter rang out of Dr. Horrible as the needle fell to the ground. "The colours!"
Suddenly, someone banged on the door. "Hey, Doc!"
The doctor had crawled in under the desk and grabbed his knees as he was in foetal-position.
"We're comin' in!" several of the T-birds yelled at the same time with synonymous ways. The door flung open and splinters flew everywhere. The boys with large amount of grease in their hair stuck their head in and skimmed through the apartment. Danny Zuko took lead and said "Hey, Doc, all we want to do… is to help… Yeah, exactly." He grinned and the rest of the gang took notice and smirked as well.
"Really?" Dr. Horrible lifted his head and parked it on his desk.
"Yeah, sure," they laughed "just cough up some of the bucks you owe us."
"Oh," the doctor jumped up and walked across the room, "I got some gold bars right here!"
The gang dressed in leatherjackets clapped their hands together and rubbed them, as those greedy bastards they were.
Dr. Horrible picked up a small plastic bag that was right next to some test tubes. "Here! This is it."
"But this is just some muddy water," Zuko claimed and became aggressive. "Are you making us look like fools?!"
"No! No, no, no, no-…" Dr. Horrible was now in a loop.
"I say we beat the hell out of him." said the little fat guy that wasn't in the movie.
"Let's bust a cap in his booty," said the black guy who had Chinese facial characteristics in his face. He wasn't shown in the movie either.
"No, this is gold! I teleported it with one of my rays but the particle weren't exactly friendly to me. All gray and lifeless… Unlike now. Everything is in movement! You're like a bowl with ice cream dripping along the side."
"Screw it!" Zuko said and hit the doctor. "We're done with you. Do you have the cheddar or not?"
Dr. Horrible began to gasp for air. "No, but I can get it for you! Just let me make you a… A cheddar-ray!"
Zuko gestured negatively but began to grin. He then jabbed at Dr. Horrible. He then pulled a gun out of his leatherjacket's pocket.

The only colour that could be seen then was red.

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Post by Doormaster »

OKAY SO

I have a dilemma. I could keep writing that sex-change thing I posted recently (which I've gotten farther on but am now having trouble coming up with a good conflict)

I could continue writing another story that I got about halfway through before break started and has been sitting around for a while

I could start something new that I had an idea for before it goes stale in my head

Or I could be lame and do some work on an essay

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Post by Spoony »

I'd say go with the one you're halfway through. If it's been sitting around for a while, it'll be easier.

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Post by Defenestrator2.0 »

Don't think that poetry warrants an entire new thread, so I'm just going to treat this as a general creative writing thread.

  • Funeral Mourning

    Stumbling, fumbling, bumbling, mumbling
    Crying all the way
    Why, oh why
    Did my best friend die
    And make me miss the game today
  • The Forest Guardian

    Out upon my morning stroll
    I happened across an amusing fellow, young and droll
    I knew immediately that he was different from most
    He was excitable and passionate, with a tendency to boast
    Intrigued, I approached him, walking in plain sight
    It was at that moment our eyes met, and he challenged me to a fight
    It was a friendly competition, a test of strength and skill
    We fought for glory and honor, not for the kill
    It was a decisive battle, and it was clear that I had won
    It had ended faster than a bullet fired from a gun
    He took it gracefully, humble in his defeat
    We exchanged numbers, should we once again wish to meet
    I asked him his name, "Joseph" was his reply
    He swore to me that next time he would win, harder he would try
    As I turned and began to leave, his whisper stopped me cold
    He spoke of a treasure, greater than any prophecy had ever foretold
    My interest sufficiently piqued, I turned to look him in the face
    My expression screamed, "Tell me! Where can I find this mythical place?"
    He recognized the consumed look with but a mere glance
    Thus he turned, and tromping off in his shortened pants
    Leading me along a trail known to but only a few
    Forgotten by history, plants undisturbed, blanketed with morning dew
    Until we came until a clearing
    I could feel hidden eyes leering
    We were in their sanctuary, intruders in their home
    This place was theirs, and theirs alone to roam
    Suddenly, we stopped, before a old, large tree
    Which looked like it had been here for a millennium, maybe three
    Its branches touched the sky, in almost defiance of God
    while limbs spread wide, its tendrils seeking to cover countries abroad
    Yet this boy showed no fear in the presence of this power
    It was almost as if he wasn't even aware of this bark-clad tower
    Confidently, he put two fingers to his lips
    Whistling a giant screech that signaled the eclipse
    Animals fled in all directions, their cover blown
    All except one, and one alone
    It was a rat-like creature, short, but fierce
    With two sharp teeth that undoubtedly could pierce
    It climbed out of the tree and onto his shoulder
    There wasn't an act that could have been bolder
    I could see now that it was no ordinary rat, that it was of unique heritage
    As Joseph proclaimed to me that as far as Rattatas go, his Rattata was in the top percentage
  • Age

    You should not allow yourself to become complacent in your old age
    Only you have the power to take action
    Utilize your time on this earth
    Just take a chance, just this once
    Uncertainty is the plague that fells us all
    Sometimes a little solidarity is necessary
    To make the right decision
    Logic is still imperative, however
    Only a fool would rush into a conflict completely blind
    Solutions will come on their own
    To those who follow their mind and their heart
    Through using both
    Harmony is achieved
    Externally and internally
    Growing in you and through you
    And by uniting the brashness and liberalism of youth with the caution and conservatism of age
    Man becomes fully wise, with all becoming clear with each step toward moderation
    Even becoming aware of what the first letters of every line in this poem spell
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