okay this is going to be uncle darks life advice story time
do not do a mail order bride. this is a terrible idea. if its something your brother suggest you should not listen to his advice. it is VERY different than any other dating site. a normal dating site is just a social media way of asking out strangers who you gotta trust are being legit with their profile information, which they generally are. catfishing and shit is pretty easy to spot and is generally blown out of proportion by media.
as for not wanting to be alone, being single for x amount of years sucks but its not uncommon in the slightest. in fact, having a relationship takes a LOT of work, effort, and cheddar and many people forgo it in lieu of studies or work for a time. if youre having trouble with women, going on speed dating or dating websites is fine but don't do mail order brides. its not legit, its not a good idea, and there is a massive chance that they just want citizenship.
as for the rest of you, listen to Great Handsome Oppressor. he's too handsome for you to not listen to okay.
All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
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DarkSurfer
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Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
As I said earlier, I didn't really think it was a viable option. In my original post I was making a joke, but it set me off when Stranger responded that way. What bugs the hell out of me about it all is that I knew him years ago by another name, over at the Altermeta forums, and he was actually pretty friendly.
It's like the whole time I've been here, I've felt that I have to be unnecessarily careful, because people get super rustled over the smallest crap, and it really shouldn't be this way.
As for the whole dating thing, I'm so daisies sick of hearing about it, regardless of what's being said either way about it. I bodaciously can't go anywhere, online or off, without running into it somewhere.
It's like the whole time I've been here, I've felt that I have to be unnecessarily careful, because people get super rustled over the smallest crap, and it really shouldn't be this way.
As for the whole dating thing, I'm so daisies sick of hearing about it, regardless of what's being said either way about it. I bodaciously can't go anywhere, online or off, without running into it somewhere.
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?
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DarkSurfer
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Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
just ignore the posts by people who are being snippy
Worst case if someone really bugs you, the forum has an ignore option. You just add someone as a "foe" from their profile page and it hides their post.
Worst case if someone really bugs you, the forum has an ignore option. You just add someone as a "foe" from their profile page and it hides their post.
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
That's what that does?
Is there like, some kind of tutorial for all the different stuff a forum system can do?
Is there like, some kind of tutorial for all the different stuff a forum system can do?
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Here's what I want to know, and why I think a mail order relationship would be hilariously terrible:
What do you say when she gets there?
I really want you to imagine this. I want you to, as truthfully as you can, imagine an actual human coming to your door right now who you have not met before. Imagine it the same way you imagine going in to talking to a teacher, or a professor, or the doctor: what you actually say to this real person who is really going to be there, and how they might respond, and what you do next.
"Hello, human being I paid cheddar for to come here so we can screw. It's nice to see you, now and for the rest of my life or until I divorce you and therefore strand you in my country with no friends, family or resources. When do we squish our nono bits together?"
This person is still a person. They might or might not care about you. They might or might not having feelings for you one way or the other. They still have to eat, and shit, and bathe, and wash their underwear, and have a favorite food and band and went to school and have parents and childhood pets and dreams. They're an actual person, a stranger, who you're paying to show up and pretend to be interested in you for the sake of pretending you're not alone anymore.
I know that sounds very brutal of me, but if just hearing about it and imagining it is hurtful and upsetting, think how much worse the reality would be if you went through with it.
What do you say when she gets there?
I really want you to imagine this. I want you to, as truthfully as you can, imagine an actual human coming to your door right now who you have not met before. Imagine it the same way you imagine going in to talking to a teacher, or a professor, or the doctor: what you actually say to this real person who is really going to be there, and how they might respond, and what you do next.
"Hello, human being I paid cheddar for to come here so we can screw. It's nice to see you, now and for the rest of my life or until I divorce you and therefore strand you in my country with no friends, family or resources. When do we squish our nono bits together?"
This person is still a person. They might or might not care about you. They might or might not having feelings for you one way or the other. They still have to eat, and shit, and bathe, and wash their underwear, and have a favorite food and band and went to school and have parents and childhood pets and dreams. They're an actual person, a stranger, who you're paying to show up and pretend to be interested in you for the sake of pretending you're not alone anymore.
I know that sounds very brutal of me, but if just hearing about it and imagining it is hurtful and upsetting, think how much worse the reality would be if you went through with it.
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The Nightman
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Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
I'm only 19 does that mean I can keep unfunny waste of space, time and resources?Le Great Handsome Oppressor wrote:I'm tired.
All of you are going to behave. Enough name-calling, enough "he said she said" bull. Enough of this "oh so I need to CENSOR myself?!" that you're all doing. Behave like adults. You're all over 21 here.
If you can't behave. Don't speak up. Close the tab. Take a break. Clear your mind. Either you come back with a calm and well thought-out response, or you move on from this conversation.
If you continue to insult each others, or fling shit at each others. I'll intervene again. You don't want that.
Above all, remember our rules. "Don't antagonize", is one of them. "BE RESPECTFUL", is another. Thank you.
If you have a problem, send me a PM. I'll make sure to get back to you.
I have my own opinions here, but I'll hold back on sharing them, because right now I cannot articulate my point in a clear and polite manner. I do not want my words to hurt anyone here, and I do not want to say things I would regret later.
I'm not saying I'm exemplary. But I think you owe it to yourselves to try and do the same.
No matter how much you think someone is wrong.
As I often do.
I'm kidding. Don't kill me.
[Citation Needed] wrote:I am the most least quotable person.
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Well, from what I've seen on that documentary (I think it was called "Email Order Bride", or something like that; it's been several years), the actual process is a bit different.
They set up correspondence and, if necessary, translate it. It's also expected, at least of the guy, to fly to her home country and meet her. I don't remember if they are required to do this more than once or not. Some websites involved in this actually refuse to allow the term "mail order bride", as it implies that the woman is being sold. The preferred term is international dating.
Also, not including the final part where she goes to the man's home country (or vice versa), the process, from introduction to actual proposal, can take almost a year, if not longer. During this time, there's supposed to be multiple in-person meetings, an exchange of gifts at some point (I actually hate exchanging gifts, because I'm terrible at it), and a butt ton of legal documents to sign and file.
All of that is really the main reason why I had said, more than once, that I don't actually see it as a viable option.
Hell, I'm honestly not so sure I want to put up with a local area dating site, either. While my brother's ex wife did it, and wound up with a marriage that lasted longer than the first, I shouldn't have to pay someone to introduce me to someone else.
What's messed up is that anytime anyone I know meets someone who is single and they offer to introduce us, the other person isn't interested in meeting me at all. Plus, I'd probably be one of the few people it wouldn't work for, anyway. Kind of like that one scene in the first American Pie movie, where the guy checks his online dating profile and doesn't have ANY hits.
They set up correspondence and, if necessary, translate it. It's also expected, at least of the guy, to fly to her home country and meet her. I don't remember if they are required to do this more than once or not. Some websites involved in this actually refuse to allow the term "mail order bride", as it implies that the woman is being sold. The preferred term is international dating.
Also, not including the final part where she goes to the man's home country (or vice versa), the process, from introduction to actual proposal, can take almost a year, if not longer. During this time, there's supposed to be multiple in-person meetings, an exchange of gifts at some point (I actually hate exchanging gifts, because I'm terrible at it), and a butt ton of legal documents to sign and file.
All of that is really the main reason why I had said, more than once, that I don't actually see it as a viable option.
Hell, I'm honestly not so sure I want to put up with a local area dating site, either. While my brother's ex wife did it, and wound up with a marriage that lasted longer than the first, I shouldn't have to pay someone to introduce me to someone else.
What's messed up is that anytime anyone I know meets someone who is single and they offer to introduce us, the other person isn't interested in meeting me at all. Plus, I'd probably be one of the few people it wouldn't work for, anyway. Kind of like that one scene in the first American Pie movie, where the guy checks his online dating profile and doesn't have ANY hits.
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Can I ask how you introduce yourself? I'm not an expert or anything, but there are a lot of very common trends and behaviors that can make others reluctant to associate. It's not that the person displaying those behaviors is bad, but especially for people who have experience with relationships, it's easier to recognize a trend that tends to indicate how that person might start to behave in the future than to pursue a relationship despite misgivings and hope for the best, especially because of how much that can hurt both people.
It's a little bit like going to a restaurant. Even if a certain dish looks good, like say, a burrito, and you like almost everything in the burrito, but every time you've eaten beans before you've ended up really sick, you're going to be hesitant about trying this new thing, because it has something in common with your previous negative experiences. You may even feel guilty about avoiding it, because you can see that beans don't make anybody else sick, or you see how hard the chef worked on it. And the thing is, even if this is a different type of bean, the negative association can be so strong that it makes you feel sick, even if there's not actually much or anything wrong!
So... I guess what I'm saying is, if you give me an example of how you tend to talk or act when you write your profiles or something, I'll see if there are things hiding in there that might make someone nervous, and try to give you advice if you want.
It's a little bit like going to a restaurant. Even if a certain dish looks good, like say, a burrito, and you like almost everything in the burrito, but every time you've eaten beans before you've ended up really sick, you're going to be hesitant about trying this new thing, because it has something in common with your previous negative experiences. You may even feel guilty about avoiding it, because you can see that beans don't make anybody else sick, or you see how hard the chef worked on it. And the thing is, even if this is a different type of bean, the negative association can be so strong that it makes you feel sick, even if there's not actually much or anything wrong!
So... I guess what I'm saying is, if you give me an example of how you tend to talk or act when you write your profiles or something, I'll see if there are things hiding in there that might make someone nervous, and try to give you advice if you want.
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Actually... To be perfectly honest, every time, save for one, the girl asked me out. Ever since my last relationship ended back in late 06 (she asked me, and I should have said no), I just... Didn't bother with it. I'm only seeing getting into a relationship as a possibility now because I just might be close to getting my feet under me (finally... Should have gone to welding school right out of high school).
As for introductions, I usually can't say much. But in my defense, the last time I "let" someone set up a meeting (I didn't know it was planned until shortly before it happened), it was my sister in law introducing me to a coworker of hers when she worked at a sex shop... While the woman was at work.
Apparently, I can't speak when there's a bottle just a few feet away labeled "Anal Ease" or something like that... Being surrounded by mannequins wearing negligées doesn't help, either.
And I wish I was making that story up.
As for introductions, I usually can't say much. But in my defense, the last time I "let" someone set up a meeting (I didn't know it was planned until shortly before it happened), it was my sister in law introducing me to a coworker of hers when she worked at a sex shop... While the woman was at work.
Apparently, I can't speak when there's a bottle just a few feet away labeled "Anal Ease" or something like that... Being surrounded by mannequins wearing negligées doesn't help, either.
And I wish I was making that story up.
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?
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DarkSurfer
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Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
If you spill your spaghetti around anal lube and mannequins in lingerie that's probably the issue.
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Uhhhh... What? What does pasta have to do with anyth- oh... Ewww...
Nah, I couldn't actually say much. My sister in law kept talking to her, and I couldn't think of anything to say at all.
But really, the whole thing was a disaster. I woke up that morning, and my brother and his wife were at my place. She asked if I knew I was going with them, to meet someone. Whiiich... I didn't, until she told me.
So, a couple hours later, we were at their place, and then she finally tells me the woman's name. We go to meet her, and THEN I learn she's at work. I'm pretty sure the warm sensation in my face meant I was blushing pretty bad.
Nah, I couldn't actually say much. My sister in law kept talking to her, and I couldn't think of anything to say at all.
But really, the whole thing was a disaster. I woke up that morning, and my brother and his wife were at my place. She asked if I knew I was going with them, to meet someone. Whiiich... I didn't, until she told me.
So, a couple hours later, we were at their place, and then she finally tells me the woman's name. We go to meet her, and THEN I learn she's at work. I'm pretty sure the warm sensation in my face meant I was blushing pretty bad.
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Yeah man, don't pay for dating sites, there are so many free alternatives now. Just try out Tinder for a bit or something.Hell, I'm honestly not so sure I want to put up with a local area dating site, either. While my brother's ex wife did it, and wound up with a marriage that lasted longer than the first, I shouldn't have to pay someone to introduce me to someone else.
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
Don't I have to pay for that one, too?
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
No it's free with a premium option that you don't really need.
Re: All topics unimportant enough to not create a thread for
I found out recently that there was a police raid two houses down from me. The police found meth, pills, "suspected" marijuana (really? They didn't know for sure that it was weed?) and either 38 or 39 guns. The article didn't specify what type, but from all the noise they were making a couple weeks ago, I'm pretty sure they were full auto. It sounded like a .223/5.56mm, which isn't an uncommon caliber. However, I don't know of many rifles that shoot in five round bursts. Although it IS possible they were semi auto, and the shooter was just going nuts on the trigger. My dad did it in basic back in the early 80s, and was still on target.
Now, as I said before, I'm a fan of guns, provided the person holding it isn't doing anything unsafe or illegal.
Especially being a drug dealer. Too bad there wasn't a stand off with SWAT. I have no problem with weed, but anyone peddling anything else, like, say, meth... Yeah, we could do without people like that.
Now, as I said before, I'm a fan of guns, provided the person holding it isn't doing anything unsafe or illegal.
Especially being a drug dealer. Too bad there wasn't a stand off with SWAT. I have no problem with weed, but anyone peddling anything else, like, say, meth... Yeah, we could do without people like that.
What happens to dreams when you can't sleep?