AWKWARD ZOMBIE

What documentary did you watch on the subject? I've never looked into anything mail-order bride related, but it was to my understanding that the only reason most of the women do it is to get married and claim citizenship elsewhere.

Also, being single isn't all that bad. Definitely better than jumping straight into a marriage that likely won't last very long.

Alkarii wrote:So I'm an asshole for standing up for myself?

There's standing up and there's being needlessly mean. You could have explained your desire for a relationship without insulting Stranger.

Jesus Tapdancing Christ, I turn around for two goddamned minutes to do my fucking homework and y'all start bitching about girlfriends and who's the bigger asshole.

Stranger, several of us have already mentioned in the past that you do tend to jump a bit too immediately to a more abrasive argument style (even when I agree with you on specific points you make). So, uh, be aware and watch out for that, I guess.

Alkarii, bear in mind, you did not say the phrase "International dating site" the first time. You did say "Mail order bride", which is going to get you the reaction that it did, purely because of the social context that phrase rightfully has.

In regards to people insulting you and jumping on you for everything you say, I don't remember seeing that anywhere. Which isn't to say it doesn't happen, but there are many posts where I bite my tongue and watch as whatever it was thankfully get ignored, preventing the insulting you are upset about. And complaining that it's because you aren't like everyone else here is silly. I'm actually a bit more conservative than most of the vocal members, but as far as I remember no one has ever felt the need to bitch at me (even before I became a mod, back when there were actually people in boards other than Le Comic).

In regards to "all the women around [area you live in]", the attitude that causes generalization is generally the one that causes the self-perpetuating problem. I'm not saying you haven't met women who happen to be shallow and hypocritical. Everyone has. I don't doubt that you could very well have met a disproportionately high number of ladies with lame personalities. However, unless your town is ridiculously tiny (As in, "all" women that meet the basic social contract requirements is a set of 10), I would guess it's more a matter of the ones you choose to approach. And if your town is ridiculously tiny, like Syo said, go out and actually TRY to find someone that you can tolerate hanging out with.

And finally, in regards to your statement about not wanting to be alone (I feel Obnosim has already sufficiently addressed your reaction to Stranger), if you're too fucked up to function as a decent human being on your own, without getting your dick in a twist over the lack of ass riding on it, then maybe you need that psychiatric help you suggested for Stranger. You need to work on getting yourself in a good place before you subject someone else to living with/caring for it on a regular basis. And I don't just mean financially, I mean personally. Don't rely on another person to complete you. That's selling yourself short in regards to your own capabilities, and it's an unfair burden to this other hypothetical person. This is something that has rustled me off like nothing else with several people, regardless of whether their loneliness manifested in anger, boredom, or sadness. I know that being lonely sucks. That's why you need to learn how to be emotionally self-sufficient so that you can want company without veering all the way into "ugh loneliness and terrible and forever alone".

Instead of immediately going for marrying someone over the internet, an idea that historically ends in disaster, why not try a dating website and stick to people around your area? If you don't know anyone single, and don't know anyone who knows anyone single, and your town isn't some podunk hamlet in the middle of nowhere, there's bound to be at least ONE person there.
Yes you're going to have to wade through the people just looking for sex, but that's as simple as blocking them and moving on.

I never once said anything about being entitled to anything.

I'm also sick of how you folks immediately assume I mean the worst every time I post something. I never said anything about being unable to function on my own. I also never said it was too difficult to get laid. I could very easily sign up to one of those hook up sites.

As for my statement about how I seem to be attacked quite often, take a look in the current events thread. Just about any time there's been a shooting that made the news, people get on that daisies "ban all guns" bandwagon, with which I still disagree, and everyone acts like I'm some kind of uneducated toothless hick because of it, yet anyone else says the same thing, and they're still considered an okay person.


Then you want to go and judge me like you just did. Do you even know anything about me? Does anyone here actually try to talk to me, aside from responding to a post? You guys keep saying this place is friendlier than most, yet from what I've seen so far, it's actually the worst. Too often you guys have jumped to a conclusion about what I mean or intend instead of actually talking to me about it. Many folks here have only made me feel unwelcome from the very beginning, yet aside from that jab at Stranger, I haven't really been saying anything deliberately hurtful towards anyone, as far as I can recall.

Alkarii wrote:As for my statement about how I seem to be attacked quite often, take a look in the current events thread. Just about any time there's been a shooting that made the news, people get on that daisies "ban all guns" bandwagon, with which I still disagree, and everyone acts like I'm some kind of uneducated toothless hick because of it, yet anyone else says the same thing, and they're still considered an okay person..

I don't see anyone treating you like that. I see people posting their own views, which may differ from your own, but that doesn't mean they're speaking badly of you or your character. And that certainly is not cause to start insulting people under the guise of "standing up for yourself".

SaintCrazy wrote:

Alkarii wrote:As for my statement about how I seem to be attacked quite often, take a look in the current events thread. Just about any time there's been a shooting that made the news, people get on that daisies "ban all guns" bandwagon, with which I still disagree, and everyone acts like I'm some kind of uneducated toothless hick because of it, yet anyone else says the same thing, and they're still considered an okay person..

I don't see anyone treating you like that. I see people posting their own views, which may differ from your own, but that doesn't mean they're speaking badly of you or your character. And that certainly is not cause to start insulting people under the guise of "standing up for yourself".

I concur. I just skimmed through the last 11 months in the current events thread and I can't find examples of what you described. Brekkjern was kind of sarcastic once (I'm not even sure it was directed at you?) and a user with just 64 posts was maybe a bit disrespectful once. Most of your posts didn't receive answers (most didn't call for answers in the first place). The one who replied to you the most often was Stranger, but he was always respectful. I haven't seen any occurrence of people ganging up on you and you weren't involved in any of the fights.

Obnosim wrote:Kubein was kind of sarcastic once (I'm not even sure it was directed at you?

I was? I can't remember when that was.

At any rate. I do agree with Alkariis general point though. It's very easy to say something "wrong" and be branded public enemy number one by the forum for the next few pages of the topic. You're not necessarily insulted, but your opinions are reduced to labels like "racist" and other similar things without actually being called that. Both sides of this discussion could very much benefit from calming down and reducing the vitriol (me included at several times).

Brekkjern wrote:[quote="Obnosim"Kubein was kind of sarcastic once (I'm not even sure it was directed at you?

I was? I can't remember when that was.

At any rate. I do agree with Alkariis general point though. It's very easy to say something "wrong" and be branded public enemy number one by the forum for the next few pages of the topic. You're not necessarily insulted, but your opinions are reduced to labels like "racist" and other similar things without actually being called that. Both sides of this discussion could very much benefit from calming down and reducing the vitriol (me included at several times).[/quote]
So, you think WE should censor ourselves just so YOUR opinion can be held sacrosanct?

Did anyone even suggest that? This is exactly the shit I was talking about.

As was I. Do you guys not see the hypocrisy of this?

There's also his latest post in Current Events, where he says that there is no difference between radical Christians and Islamic extremists.

Brekkjern wrote:As was I. Do you guys not see the hypocrisy of this?

How is that hypocritical? You basically said that everyone should just nod and smile at your opinions because you feel like everyone gangs up on you. Did it ever occur to you that maybe its your opinions thats the problem and not everyone elses reaction to them?

So I should censor myself because I don't believe America is as violent and shitty a place as other people on this forum have said, when they haven't even been here?

Are you saying that because we have a different opinion at all, we shouldn't even be allowed to say so?

I'm tired.
All of you are going to behave. Enough name-calling, enough "he said she said" bull. Enough of this "oh so I need to CENSOR myself?!" that you're all doing. Behave like adults. You're all over 21 here.
If you can't behave. Don't speak up. Close the tab. Take a break. Clear your mind. Either you come back with a calm and well thought-out response, or you move on from this conversation.
If you continue to insult each others, or fling shit at each others. I'll intervene again. You don't want that.
Above all, remember our rules. "Don't antagonize", is one of them. "BE RESPECTFUL", is another. Thank you.
If you have a problem, send me a PM. I'll make sure to get back to you.

I have my own opinions here, but I'll hold back on sharing them, because right now I cannot articulate my point in a clear and polite manner. I do not want my words to hurt anyone here, and I do not want to say things I would regret later.
I'm not saying I'm exemplary. But I think you owe it to yourselves to try and do the same.
No matter how much you think someone is wrong.
As I often do.