AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Valbrandur wrote:I got my measurements done for my passport and I found out I'm somewhere around 5"7.

I wish I was taller. Hell, I wish I would be 10" tall so I could slam dunk people

What, 10 feet tall? Because the world record is like 8'7 and that guy died when he was 23

Yeah, sadly abnormal heights come with premature deaths.


10" would probably be terrible though, every day would be like Gandalf in a hobbit hole.

I just ordered some CDs from Sweden. Now comes the oh-no-what-have-i-done-i-spend-my-cheddar-badly feeling until they get delivered.

I don't really understand why I have so much trouble making new friends. Even on AZ.

I mean I like you guys, but most of you I'd consider acquaintances simply because we don't interact all that much outside the forum.

And that's how it is offline as well, ever since I started college. I have such a hard time getting people to answer a text, or a phone call, or just hang out. It feels so one-sided when I have "friends" that rarely, if ever initiate any sort of communication or invite me to do anything.

Y'know, that's a good point. I'd readily say I know (and like) most of you guys, but like you, Marc, I'd struggle to say I'm really any more than an acquaintance to anyone here.

Yeah cause its hard to really connect with people on forums like this because the discussion is very directed, you see single aspects of people. For example Marcato I associate you with Bravely Default cause thats the topic ive seen you on most. Im much more connected with people like Jagged or Cited because we are on the AZcraft server together and we learn alot more about each other.

Also in college people will let you do what you want. Unless you actively seek something out people will assume you've found something else more preferable since in college there is so much available. If you ask to eat lunch with people theyll invite you to lunch, if ask to got to parties people will ask you to parties, etc etc. I didnt realize this my first 3 months and i just sat in my room playing league.

Marcato wrote:It feels so one-sided when I have "friends" that rarely, if ever initiate any sort of communication or invite me to do anything.

hello, me.


That was one mental breakdown episode I could have gone without. My dorm experience made me redefine what my friends were, and reexamine my ENTIRE LIFE and freak out about my friends/not friends from 13 daisies years ago.

I realized I was ALWAYS the one who would have to go and find my "friends" to hang out with or anything. Nobody ever came to me, EXCEPT for when they were upset about something. Apparently I'm good for crying at. None of my college friends would ever call me for anything. I would find out the next day they went out to a club or had dinner or something all together (like 5-8 people) and none of them ever even thought of me.

and then came the childhood reexamination and haha I only recall ever having ONE PERSON who came looking for me to play, any time I ever spent with anyone else had to be initiated by me. me and that one other kid were pretty close, though.

and that's when I realized that basically everyone* I try and be friends with ends up somewhere between "hates [CN]", "tolerates [CN]", or "uses [CN]". Yeah, I have a triangular friendship graph. with no positive points.

I mean I try and be nice and make friends IRL and on the forum but I don't ever meet people outside of work, and so my IRL friends are coworkers while we are working... and then I go home and piss around on the internet with the four people I can actually connect with. As for on the forum... I like all of you lot, and sometimes I feel like I'm making a ~connection~, but then nothing happens, the user who I was talking to falls back into just being a part of the forum, you know?

It feels like most people here are already friends with each other and talk off the forum on like steam or in WoW or something, but I don't really do WoW and I almost never use steam, so there go two big ways of connecting to people.

*barring a few people, of course. CUURRRRIIISSSSSPUUUUU, Chloe, and Airra are AZ friends I talk to off of AZ (Skype woo), and I have been friends with one other person since I was like 10 or 11 - me and her grew up together, but long distance? It's hard to explain.

NaraStrex wrote:Im much more connected with people like Jagged or Cited because we are on the AZcraft server together and we learn alot more about each other.

but we don't really do much on there? i mean occasionally personal vendettas happen and someone needs rescuing from flying beasts, but does that quantify friendship?


also just realized I haven't had any dude friends since 2006. it's a clambake in my disjointed social circle

also the 30 minutes it took me to write this post didn't involve any crying at all or anything like that I swear
i'm going to go drown myself in vodka

I have a hard time keeping up with friendships. Like I can make them easy and stuff, it's just hard for me to stay connected. If that makes sense.

[Citation Needed] wrote:words

Shhhh ya butt, I basically came back to the forum and actually stayed this time cuz I missed you. >:U

I feel you on the feeling left out thing though. Whenever I make a new group of friends they always seem to live near each other and get to see each other regularly and I'm just here like... buhhh

Thinking about it, I don't even have any friends that I get to see regularly IRL these days, everyone's an internet friend and in a completely different country. There are people I talk to at work but I don't really hang out with them outside of that, and all the friends I made at uni live scattered across the country.

(I mean England isn't a particularly big country but STILL)

[Citation Needed] wrote:

NaraStrex wrote:Im much more connected with people like Jagged or Cited because we are on the AZcraft server together and we learn alot more about each other.

but we don't really do much on there? i mean occasionally personal vendettas happen and someone needs rescuing from flying beasts, but does that quantify friendship?

I admittedly don't talk to you much on a personal level on the server, but I chat with Nara plenty. I tend to keep a little quieter on here because I'm younger than a lot of members on here, so I feel like I'm too inexperienced in most matters to contribute to any conversations. I also don't like to argue/debate with people due to the chance that I'll make them dislike me, even if I completely dislike them.
This probably belongs in confessions, but it's topical here.

I'm very distant and I'm not really a people person so there's only around 2-3 people I frequently talk with. Exeres is a part of that VIP club.

I'd probably like a few more friends to talk with but there are so many obstacles, mostly of the mind.

On the forum, we talk around topics. That's good and everything, but you have to make it about people if you want friendship.
I'm shy and I've been guilty of not reaching out to people actively. You have to do that to connect though,

I find that making friends has a lot to do with finding an activity that you both like and then just doing that one thing a lot. Like, the few friends i made in college were people id see all the time because of band, or people i'd watch disney movies with, or people id play videogames with.

Over the internet that's harder because posting on forums isn't really an activity everyone can share, it's more like people drop in periodically. Chatting outside forums and playing vidya together would foster more friendships.

I like you guys and I've been here forever and i don't really have any close AZ friends either. Maybe we should schedule a RL hug session.

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read this, this is important.

Thanks for the heads up!