AWKWARD ZOMBIE

The battery beep is a short, incessant chirp every couple minutes or so. This was the actual smoke alarm (we hear it enough when my mom makes this one chicken, the smoke detector is actually how she knows its done) and was continuous so long as I wasn't fanning the detector somehow. I didn't mention having my ceiling fan on for about 45 minutes to air out my room in case there WAS something causing it in here.
I also know it wasn't the carbon monoxide detector, since that one's four short beeps every 30 seconds and not BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP (echoes of other beeps since it's not in sync through the entire house) BEEEP BEEEP BEEP (echoes) BEEEP BEEEP BEEEP.

Replace your smoke detectors with matchboxes suspended by strings attached to the ceiling. The silently warn you of fire by burning if the house is on fire.

Could just be a sign that your smoke detector is old and needs to be replaced. They do wear out after a while. A few years back one of our smoke detectors wore out and started going off without provocation and sounded off the whole house with it. The problem stopped after my dad got a set of new ones.

^ this. Or the battery is old and needs to be replaced. We had one that would start chirping at random intervals (and I mean random - it'd beep for 5 minutes then be quiet all week to start beeping again for three days) and all it wanted was a new battery

We replaced my problem one with a brand new one, straight from the packaging. The landlady's jack-of-all-trades electrician plumber lawncare guy even did it for us.

Still beeped. So now I jsut have a hole in my ceiling. We all came to the conclusion that the wiring in the ceiling is faulty somehow but nobody can be assed to chop holes in the ceiling and fix it.

My limited listening comprehension makes it nearly impossible for me to understand what people are saying if they speak more than twenty words per sentence. No matter how much focus I put into what someone is saying, it gradually gets garbled and it seems like people are numbly mumbling in an odd pattern that makes no sense.

I dislike having to tell people to speak with as few words as possible. It makes me sound stupid and it's rather demeaning when people interpret it as "Airra needs to be treated like a toddler."

spent the last hour cowering in my hallway because some jackass fired off 5 or 6 shots from a handgun right fucking next to my house. no idea who it was or why. security footage shows nothing. called 911. 40 minutes later called local police and were bitched at. it's been probably an hour and a half now and still no fucking police. i live in a predominantly black and mexican lower-income area.

nice to see the HPD has our back out here. hope nobody's dead

Yikes, Had that happen to us once. Stray came though the wall. My neighbor's car got a bullet to the rear bumper. Office lost his Handcuff keys trying to get the bullet out

Jesus. I've never been that close to actually being shot, but I have had a gun sort of pointed at me.

That is more terrifying to me, Luckily no one was hurt because of the mount the Tv is on stopped the stray. The 2 guys who started the whole thing were arrested as well.

yeah no strays came which is good, but still, nobody ever fucking showed up. i cannot even begin to explain how angry i am about that. when we got robbed police were were in minutes. we call TWICE about gunshots (last week someone was shooting down the road,) and nothing happens. i know i live in a trailer park and we're all poor out here but holy shit. i used to respect police but with ferguson etc happening and now this i have lost pretty much all respect.

it's fine, really, i'm already so terrified to be outside here because i got mugged/agressive dogs/etc i can totally handle now being afraid that my neighbours are going to get in a fucking gang war at any second and shoot the whole street up in the crossfire no it's fine it's fine it's fine

The refridgerator makes a VERY LOUD buzzing noise every twenty minutes that lasts for five seconds.

Why.

If your fridge dispenses ice, that could be what it is. Making more ice usually causes the fridge to make noises.

After several years of having a nice-ish (read: this decade) fridge/freezer with an ice maker, I currently have a considerably older version but still with an ice maker. The only difference is that for my current one you have to manually move a lever up and down to turn the ice maker on and off. I forget to turn it off and I could sink the Titanic with my freezer.

Nope. No ice maker.

Just noise.

I assume it is some kind of defrost process to keep it from icing over.