AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Crazy bitches.

I feel like I've been stuck in some madman's subterainian prison for almost a year.

TheOtherMC wrote:Crazy bitches.

I feel like I've been stuck in some madman's subterainian prison for almost a year.

are you still living with her?

last year i went to the dentist and everything was fine outside of some fillings that needed to be redone

this year my mouth is COMPLETELY FUCKED

WHAT HAPPENED

Did you floss enough?

my flossing habits have not improved nor have they declined

which is to say, i try, but sometimes i fail. i am only human.

Speaking of teeth, I've been using my bottom front teeth to open the charging hole for a Lifeproof case (even though apparently EVERYONE ELSE can open it with their NAILS, SORRY I HAVE A BAD HABIT DAD, JESUS) and now I think it's finally drastically misaligned them. I'm still supposed to be wearing a retainer 24/7, so my orthodontist is definitely not gonna be pop flyin' about it. All because of Lifeproof. Fuck you, Lifeproof. You are a very well built but bothersome phone case.

I overheard some guys I was helping in Chem class talking about following around a lady for five minutes who cut in front of them (all this via car) only for them to pull over next to her, for her to be completely frantic, and then give her a fake death threat.

I don't give a shit how hilarious you think that is, don't fuckin' give people death threats even if you don't actually plan on going through with them. That's just common sense, she might straight up shoot you the next time you see her. They were laughing how she's probably going to have nightmares and look over her shoulder all the time. It reminds me of how much I hate teenagers and how they think anything they do will have no consequences.

It is very annoying to be exceedingly empathetic to the point where I feel sorry for killing bugs.

In this case, I killed a bug but it ran in circles in excruciating pain before I killed it with an immediate second blow.

Rule #1 of killing anything, kill it in one blow only so that it will not feel any pain before its death.

if it makes you feel better, it's debatable if insects have the brain capacity to feel proper pain. it was probably more like a fight or flight reflex.

Yeah, that's pretty good to hear, thanks for that shazza.

This fucking piece of shit laptop is making me so fucking mad, I want to take a sledgehammer and smash this disgusting excuse of hardware to fucking pieces

How much fucking more useless could it get, even a rock has more viability jesus fucking christ

Wow, this is great. Pooping five times in one day is great. I love pooping five times in one day. Pooping five times in one day is my favorite hobby.

What the fuck did I eat?

YCobb wrote:Wow, this is great. Pooping five times in one day is great. I love pooping five times in one day. Pooping five times in one day is my favorite hobby.

What the fuck did I eat?

....poop?

"You should get two or three jobs. Definitely don't stop at one."

OH HEY MAYBE I DON'T WANT TO SPEND MY EVERY WAKING MOMENT WORKING

I SEEM TO RECALL YOU HAVE ZERO JOBS, BY THE WAY, MOM.

Maybe she meant to not just have a job that's only 15 hours a week and instead aim for either full-time employment, or equivalent hours between a couple of jobs. I mean, she's terrible at saying anything in a way that isn't offensive, but it's possible that she wasn't trying to be a completely hypocritical butt.