AWKWARD ZOMBIE

Loud booty drunks outside my apartment building. Because you just arent a drunken asshole if you arent venting your inability to keep your mouth shut while partying to the whole world. Outside. Where the party youre attending is NOT located. And screaming homophobic slurs at the people youre assumedly friends with at the same time.

Winchester wrote:I'm so fucking stressed and I have more stressful stuff happening later this afternoon and I feel like crying

Welp I had a panic attack and had to cancel. It was kinda important too.

I'm having a hard time keeping myself from crying even more.

Pinky turned completely white and hurt like hell when at a tennis match tonight. 39 degrees farenheit out. I was wearing shorts and my pinky was the only part of me that got cold.

this flu came out of fucking nowhere and i got shit to do.

Thanks for responding to my stuff, you guys. I really do hope things get better. So many mountains to cross though. Telling them about Noff, going to a college near him.. I'm really scared. Because of what they'll say and do to me, but also of how I'll handle it.

Anyway, today I got rustled off by her again. I found my 8-bit bow in her drawers. It's Noff's very first present to me. Up until a month ago, I wore it every single day, except at home/church because my parents hate it, and think I look stupid/weird. I swore vengeance against our cleaning lady for throwing it away. But today, I found it there in my Mom's drawers. I am so mad, upset, and quite honestly betrayed. I wore it so much that it became iconic to me. I know it's not my only underlining feature, but it was like a big part of me. It was like me saying: "Hey, Tuxedo Mask is real, he sent me this, and we're gonna be together 5ever." Though, it's not the first time she's lied to me, but God why did she have to laugh like she played a delightful prank? I yelled a lot, and didn't even eat dinner. I'm not sure how I can go on tomorrow seeing my mom. I just wanna stay in my room and spend time with Noff all day, because this made me feel so terrible.

I don't know how I can even be myself at my party. There's going to be relatives there; my Mom's going to be breathing down my neck to make sure I don't smile at any guys, or laugh too loudly; and because of previous events/angsty FB statuses my Aunt wants to have a word with me. Noooo, do not want. Do not want at all. I don't like the thought of looking forward to the future where it's all eventually better. I mean, it's optimistic, but I don't wanna over look good things in my life, even if majority of everything right now is pretty terrible.

Bleh. I feel embarrassed for talking so badly about my Mom. She's so mean, yet she does show she cares sometimes. Like, buying me random presents, or spending a lot of cheddar to give me a good birthday party. I think now that it's kind of a corrupt practice to use gifts as displays of affection, but don't think that can change easily. (I hope it didn't affect me in anyway though. I don't want to be bought by friends with gifts.) On the bright side, I'm having a big coming of age birthday party tomorrow, I'm going to look like a beautiful princess, and some of my best friends are going to be there. I just hope everything will go well.

AngelicSongx wrote:Thanks for responding to my stuff, you guys. I really do hope things get better. So many mountains to cross though. Telling them about Noff, going to a college near him.. I'm really scared. Because of what they'll say and do to me, but also of how I'll handle it.

Anyway, today I got rustled off by her again. I found my 8-bit bow in her drawers. It's Noff's very first present to me. Up until a month ago, I wore it every single day, except at home/church because my parents hate it, and think I look stupid/weird. I swore vengeance against our cleaning lady for throwing it away. But today, I found it there in my Mom's drawers. I am so mad, upset, and quite honestly betrayed. I wore it so much that it became iconic to me. I know it's not my only underlining feature, but it was like a big part of me. It was like me saying: "Hey, Tuxedo Mask is real, he sent me this, and we're gonna be together 5ever." Though, it's not the first time she's lied to me, but God why did she have to laugh like she played a delightful prank? I yelled a lot, and didn't even eat dinner. I'm not sure how I can go on tomorrow seeing my mom. I just wanna stay in my room and spend time with Noff all day, because this made me feel so terrible.

I don't know how I can even be myself at my party. There's going to be relatives there; my Mom's going to be breathing down my neck to make sure I don't smile at any guys, or laugh too loudly; and because of previous events/angsty FB statuses my Aunt wants to have a word with me. Noooo, do not want. Do not want at all. I don't like the thought of looking forward to the future where it's all eventually better. I mean, it's optimistic, but I don't wanna over look good things in my life, even if majority of everything right now is pretty terrible.

Bleh. I feel embarrassed for talking so badly about my Mom. She's so mean, yet she does show she cares sometimes. Like, buying me random presents, or spending a lot of cheddar to give me a good birthday party. I think now that it's kind of a corrupt practice to use gifts as displays of affection, but don't think that can change easily. (I hope it didn't affect me in anyway though. I don't want to be bought by friends with gifts.) On the bright side, I'm having a big coming of age birthday party tomorrow, I'm going to look like a beautiful princess, and some of my best friends are going to be there. I just hope everything will go well.

Sorry about that. On the concept of stealing things, if I leave my wallet somewhere my dad can see it he'll grab it, remove the cheddar, and either put them both somewhere else or pocket the cheddar until I realize it. He says he's trying to warn me how easily it could be stolen. Nobody ever comes over but cleaning ladies and my wallet is usually in my bag then. And I'm not sure, but he might have actually taken some of it because I have less than I remember. Maybe I just had less than I thought.

Oh, despair! Who would have thought that dog doodoo would be BEHIND the store I work at? Right next to the roll containers we use to throw cardboard boxes away? Who could have expected such a treacherous location for a doggy's deed? Alas, I realized that much too late. The stink! The smudges! Oh, despair!

I'm sorry

Some days I just can't stand one of my friends. Interacting with her can frequently boil down to nothing but apologies for hours on end.

Today I was a bit ticked at her boyfriend for flaking out on some plans we'd made, but I didn't really care. Later on, I went to a game night for a school club and she asked me if I was angry, and I said no, and she asked if I'd been angry, and I said a bit, and she apologized for it and was sad and it's just so frustrating. I can't even articulate why. I didn't care anymore, but daisies girl just shut up about it, I'm fine, you're just making unpleasant conversation. There's a difference between being a caring friend and being a huge downer about stuff that doesn't affect you in the slightest.

I think what bugs me is that I used to be just like this, but at least I had the decency to refrain from apologizing for what other people do.

My friend has started getting really sensitive. I tap someone on the head with a T-Handle wrench and he gets mad. I make a joke about something on the robot we're building, he gets mad. I say I hate something, he starts lecturing me not to say hate. I'll just be sitting there and he'll start the lecture on why we shouldn't cuss, which includes the points of: It's bad.

As great as my birthday was yesterday, today isn't going so well. Right clicking on my mouse is broken most of the time, but most importantly the condition of my right eye is incredibly bad to the point that stuff is so blurred that I can't see anything anymore.

Man I just want to play my (new) vidya a bloo bloo

I hate having things on my to-do list when I really really just need a day off.

Also, Brock from Pokémon hasn't answered my texts, he's probably just sleeping in reeeeally late, but he doesn't have a laptop right now and that's the only way I can communicate with him at the moment.

Why would you lay out a college website this way?
Just...why?

It's at this point where I reminds myself of how I hate my life.

This is the third day in a row that my brother has uploaded about 10 videos to Youtube, each a half hour long and then refused to stop the uploads despite the fact that everyone in the house is complaining.
Tonight it's just me however so the threatened to punch me in the nuts if I stopped his upload in any way.

I am so fucking rustled at my brother it's not even funny. We yelled at each other for about 10 minutes before he stormed off. I'm considering unplugging the router and hiding it.