TheStranger wrote:...dude, what the hell is wrong with your parents? This sounds like it goes beyond being inconsiderate dicks and more into the area of developmental disorders
Dad's completely self-centered so anything that takes away from his time or spending cheddar annoys him.
During my childhood, I mostly knew him as the guy who "came home and kicked us off the TV" and that occasionally stole food off of other people's plates because he was hungry and we were "eating too slow".
He also used to throw our gameboys, CD/Casette players and other important shit if we brought them near the table or left them on the couch.
He's mellowed out and kinda had a mid-life crisis that "holy shit, being a self-centered dick means no one likes me, and I WANT them to think I'm awesome so they'll do things for me", but he'll still badger me or mom for getting him to do something, even if it benefits him in the longrun, like we suddenly owe him for doing one thing when we're expected to bend over backwards for him.
Mom's just quirky and odd. Sometimes she doesn't give a shit and is lax about shit while still being responsible, other times she's anal and has to know every detail of what's going on and will pick out every flaw about you and scream about it until she breaks from whatever feeling she has pent up.
The frustrating thing in this case is that she hates answering the phone when she's talking to someone (which is kinda rude, but you can excuse yourself for a minute if it's important), but she's fine with listening to voice mail or answering texts, which is also rude but she's fine with it for some reason. I don't leave voicemails because she'll get the message and never respond, or she'll just laugh about how awkward I sound, and I couldn't send a text because I was walking across streets and talking on the phone at least frees up my eyes for watching traffic, and I can ensure she'll respond right away instead of having a 20 minute text conversation when I have 10 minutes free to cross the campus between class and lab for food.
AngelicSongx wrote:Every day of this week my Mom has picked me up from school, and took me to the mall and where-ever else because we have errands to run. And every single day she's had something rude to say to me, and made me feel terrible about myself. I hate how hypocritical she is too. To discipline me as a child she would always say "don't do that, people are looking at you. People think you're weird now because you're doing that. See that lady? She thinks you're bad now, because you're crying in public. Everybody will laugh at you if you wear things like that. People will think I'm a bad mother if you're doing things like this." And now I'm so self conscious and scared of what people say. I mean, I've gotten better at giving no ducks, but I'm still scared. Then when I scold or hiss at my parents for doing stupid things like asking every single person in the city for directions, or whatever else, because I don't want us to look stupid they yell at me.
Anyway, pretty much every day of this week my Mom's said stuff like how bad I look, how gross my hair is (style and cleanliness), using my being bullied against me (i.e. "this is why your friends think you're weird" "this is why you get made fun of, because you don't obey me"), and every single time she looks at me it's just like absolute disgust. I hate that I look like the face that discerns my every move. I snapped (well, got rustled enough to post my anger) yesterday because I saw my friend from church working at the free car/trip thing at the mall. I get really excited seeing people outside of school or usual areas, because I pretty much think: hey! I know you, and you're awesome! But my mom was rustled at me for going over there talking to him, and walked off in a huff, and scoffed/spat at me talking to him. And he seemed a little sad, but he was used to it as he works that job. I walked after her and asked her why the hell she would be so rude, and explained that he's a friend from church and has been dating another friend of mine for like a year. She got surprised and had trouble adjusting to the fact that she was wrong, saying "OH! He was? I thought you were just being nicey-nicey to him." I hate her frickin FOB phrases too. I never understood that one or "sweetie-sweetie" but basically she thought I was flirting with a complete stranger. She thinks I flirt with all my guy friends. Maybe anyone. Anytime I'm pop flyin', smiling, or laughing, it's wrong. I can't even wear what I want to, and stuff for school dress up days because she calls me "Ugly Betty" or thinks I look really stupid. I'm never good enough, and I don't want to be, but at the same time I do want to be good. I just wanna scream and cry at the top of a mountain asking why she can't accept me. /rant
Honestly, you're probably better off breaking away from her as soon as you can. Get some space, get independent, and just give yourself time to find out who you want to be without the pressure of living up to her expectations and getting her blessings.
If this is just her way of being insecure over whether she's raising you right or how you'll turn out, a break will let her see that you can manage on your own and you'll have a stronger relationship afterwards.
If she's still just vile to you, then it's further proof that you might be better off not having her in your life.
Galaxy Man wrote:everyone's parents have problems because people have problems it's usually just how much it's pissing you off at the time
Basically this. No one has a manual on how to be A+ parent 100% of the time, and oftentimes not everyone is ready/wants to be a parent, especially after many years of doing it and getting burned out on it.
And besides which, the teenaged years, the ones where kids notice their parents' bullshit more often and where parents seem more frazzled, are incredibly stressful for parents who worry about how their kids measure up to others and about their kid's future, which often leads to some erratic behavior. My mom was kinda self-assured that we'd be fine when my brother got to college, but then shit happened, and suddenly she placed a lot more pressure on me to "do better" in hopes that I didn't follow my brother, and I'm sure she partly blames herself for how shit turned out when it was really out of her (and quite possibly my brother's) hands.
Parenting is hard. Doesn't mean the kids deserve what happens to them though. It's just unfortunate all the way around.