AWKWARD ZOMBIE

I dont think my summer is turning out how I want it too.

Originally I really wanted to spend a lot of time doing art, paintings, commissions. But instead I'm being drained by planning out what stuff I'm going to be doing in the future, which I really take no pleasure in because I can think of all the other things I'll want to be doing more.

And I'm a bit lonely right now.

"Hey guys I forgot about this important part of the assignment maybe I could have put it into the syllabus OH WELL."
Gee, thanks teach.

There are masses of people wandering around in this house

I hate moving, if only for this bullshit

Rain stopped, it's getting hotter, my A/C is still broken.

This is not an ideal situation.

There are so many people in my house. Yesterday there were way more, on account of my cousin's wedding, and that especially sucked because there were loud obnoxious otakus crawling all over our pool. It's better today but I still wish I could just have a regular quiet day.

At least they should all be gone in about a week.

I missed Sloth on the phone because my phone died.

Ugh feelings.

Why do I have to be so passive by nature.

Why do people only focus on such minor things when it comes to relationships?

Oh yeah they freak out about how old they are compared to how I am, or how long I've known them, or how far away they live.

But doesn't it matter most if this person is actually nice to me? Someone that actually puts effort into making me feel good about myself? Why arnt those the most important things to others?

Well, to be fair, when you're a teenager (well, all the time, really. But ESPECIALLY now), all manners of proximity are fairly important. Proximity of actual physical presence, proximity of maturity, proximity of personality and familiarity. I mean, if it's just a casual "I feel affection for you" thing, then it's no big deal, but if you're intending to pursue a serious relationship then you probably should be close to the person in more ways than one. Like, maybe if only one of those things was out (like say, distance), then you'd be fine. But all of them (distance, age and familiarity) seems like you might be diving into it faster than you should.

I mean, I don't know the dude, or how far apart you two are in any of those things, but I'm just saying, don't immediately blow off what they're saying.

Ugh, stomach hurts. I haven't eaten yet today but I don't think I'll be up to it.

THis is bullshit, I cna't have a little room in the fridge to myself, fuck that shit. I bought a pack of drinks and put it in the fridge, everything still fit fine, but then I get a complaint about it. It takes up too much room, bitch you filled the entire fucking fridge with your shit, and all I've got is a small drawer at the bottom to myself. How aboutyou go fuck yourself,and comeback whenyou actually pay any kind of bill.

My asthma seems to making a comeback.

Augh headache out of nowhere

I really love it when my dad reminds me that I'm 24 years old and have no job while living at home with my parents.

You know, because I enjoy being reminded that I wasted my time getting an Associates in Computer Graphics, got rejected from the military three times for three different reasons, failed a Corrections Officer test simply be being colorblind, know that said colorblindness will keep me out of many other jobs (like electrician, drone pilot, police, etc), am halfway through a Bachelors in IT but I don't feel like I'm learning anything, and that for pretty much six years I've been running a series of treadmills that don't go anywhere.

Meanwhile my brother, three years younger, entered the Navy on his first attempt, got so many awards and honors in boot camp and beyond (a coin from an admiral, Blue Jacket of the Quarter, advancement to E-4 in the fastest allowed time, is being paid to pursue a Bachelors in Finance, and is a shoo-in for a program that will make him an officer after another year of schooling.

i want/need to take my medication but because they're new i don't know which ones i take and how many and my mom didn't help me learn them like she promised and her mobile phone is switched off so haha