TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

How do I made forum
DarkSurfer
Ordo Hereticus
Posts: 11860
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:03 am
Location: Dept. of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by DarkSurfer »

Wellington rose at around 02:00 or 03:00 on 18 June, and wrote letters until dawn. He had earlier written to Blücher confirming that he would give battle at Mont-Saint-Jean if Blücher could provide him with at least one corps; otherwise he would retreat towards Brussels. At a late-night council, Blücher's chief of staff, August Neidhardt von Gneisenau, had been distrustful of Wellington's strategy, but Blücher persuaded him that they should march to join Wellington's army. In the morning Wellington duly received a reply from Blücher, promising to support him with three corps.

From 06:00 Wellington was in the field supervising the deployment of his forces. At Wavre, the Prussian IV Corps under Bülow was designated to lead the march to Waterloo as it was in the best shape, not having been involved in the Battle of Ligny. Although they had not taken casualties, IV Corps had been marching for two days, covering the retreat of the three other corps of the Prussian army from the battlefield of Ligny. They had been posted farthest away from the battlefield, and progress was very slow. The roads were in poor condition after the night's heavy rain, and Bülow's men had to pass through the congested streets of Wavre and move 88 artillery pieces. Matters were not helped when a fire broke out in Wavre, blocking several streets along Bülow's intended route. As a result, the last part of the corps left at 10:00, six hours after the leading elements had moved out towards Waterloo. Bülow's men were followed to Waterloo first by I Corps and then by II Corps.

Napoleon breakfasted off silver plate at Le Caillou, the house where he had spent the night. When Soult suggested that Grouchy should be recalled to join the main force, Napoleon said, "Just because you have all been beaten by Wellington, you think he's a good general. I tell you Wellington is a bad general, the English are bad troops, and this affair is nothing more than eating breakfast".

Napoleon's surprisingly dismissive statements should not be taken at face value, given the Emperor's maxim that "in war, morale is everything" and that praising the enemy is always wrong, as it reduces one's morale. Indeed, he had been seen engaging in such pre-battle, morale-boosting harangues on a number of occasions in the past and on the morning of the battle of Waterloo he had to deal with his chief of staff's pessimism and nervousness and had to respond to several persistent and almost defeatist objections from some of his senior generals.

Later on, being told by his brother, Jerome, of some gossip overheard by a waiter between British officers at lunch at the 'King of Spain' inn in Genappe that the Prussians were to march over from Wavre, Napoleon declared that the Prussians would need at least two days to recover and would be dealt with by Grouchy.Surprisingly, Jerome's overheard gossip aside, the French commanders present at the pre-battle conference at Le Caillou had no information about the alarming proximity of the Prussians and did not suspect that Blücher's men would start erupting onto the field of battle in great numbers just five hours later.
Battle of Mont-Saint-Jean

Napoleon had delayed the start of the battle owing to the sodden ground, which would have made manoeuvring cavalry and artillery difficult. In addition, many of his forces had bivouacked well to the south of La Belle Alliance. At 10:00, in response to a dispatch he had received from Grouchy six hours earlier, he sent a reply telling Grouchy to "head for Wavre [to Grouchy's north] in order to draw near to us [to the west of Grouchy]" and then "push before him" the Prussians to arrive at Waterloo "as soon as possible".

At 11:00, Napoleon drafted his general order: Reille's Corps on the left and d'Erlon's Corps to the right were to attack the village of Mont-Saint-Jean and keep abreast of one another. This order assumed Wellington's battle-line was in the village, rather than at the more forward position on the ridge. To enable this, Jerome's division would make an initial attack on Hougoumont, which Napoleon expected would draw in Wellington's reserves, since its loss would threaten his communications with the sea. A grande batterie of the reserve artillery of I, II, and VI Corps was to then bombard the centre of Wellington's position from about 13:00. D'Erlon's corps would then attack Wellington's left, break through, and roll up his line from east to west. In his memoirs, Napoleon wrote that his intention was to separate Wellington's army from the Prussians and drive it back towards the sea.
Hougoumont
Main article: Hougoumont
The Battle of Waterloo by Clément-Auguste Andrieux (1852)

The historian Andrew Roberts notes that "It is a curious fact about the Battle of Waterloo that no one is absolutely certain when it actually began". Wellington recorded in his dispatches that at "about ten o'clock [Napoleon] commenced a furious attack upon our post at Hougoumont". Other sources state that the attack began around 11:30. The house and its immediate environs were defended by four light companies of Guards, and the wood and park by Hanoverian Jäger and the 1/2nd Nassau.

The initial attack by Bauduin's brigade emptied the wood and park, but was driven back by heavy British artillery fire, and cost Bauduin his life. As the British guns were distracted by a duel with French artillery, a second attack by Soye's brigade and what had been Bauduin's succeeded in reaching the north gate of the house. Sous-Lieutenant Legros, a French officer, broke the gate open with an axe. Some French troops managed to enter the courtyard.The 2nd Coldstream Guards and 2/3rd Foot Guards arrived to help. There was a fierce melee, and the British managed to close the gate on the French troops streaming in. The Frenchmen trapped in the courtyard were all killed. Only a young drummer boy was spared.
Gate on the north side assaulted by the 1st Légère who were led by sous-lieutenant Legros

Fighting continued around Hougoumont all afternoon. Its surroundings were heavily invested by French light infantry, and coordinated attacks were made against the troops behind Hougoumont. Wellington's army defended the house and the hollow way running north from it. In the afternoon, Napoleon personally ordered the house to be shelled to set it on fire, resulting in the destruction of all but the chapel. Du Plat's brigade of the King's German Legion was brought forward to defend the hollow way, which they had to do without senior officers. Eventually they were relieved by the 71st Foot, a British infantry regiment. Adam's brigade was further reinforced by Hugh Halkett's 3rd Hanoverian Brigade, and successfully repulsed further infantry and cavalry attacks sent by Reille. Hougoumont held out until the end of the battle.

I had occupied that post with a detachment from General Byng's brigade of Guards, which was in position in its rear; and it was some time under the command of Lieutenant-Colonel MacDonald, and afterwards of Colonel Home; and I am pop flyin' to add that it was maintained, throughout the day, with the utmost gallantry by these brave troops, notwithstanding the repeated efforts of large bodies of the enemy to obtain possession of it.
— Wellington,
Image

DarkSurfer
Ordo Hereticus
Posts: 11860
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:03 am
Location: Dept. of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by DarkSurfer »

"TIME CUBE 4ce"





In 1884, meridian time personnel met

in Washington to change Earth time.

First words said was that only 1 day

could be used on Earth to not change

the 1 day bible. So they applied the 1

day and ignored the other 3 days.

The bible time was wrong then and it

proved wrong today. This a major lie

has so much evil feed from it's wrong.

No man on Earth has no belly-button,

it proves every believer on Earth a liar.



Children will be blessed for

Killing Of Educated Adults

Who Ignore 4 Simultaneous

Days Same Earth Rotation.

Practicing Evil ONEness -

Upon Earth Of Quadrants.

Evil Adult Crime VS Youth.

Supports Lie Of Integration.

1 Educated Are Most Dumb.

Not 1 Human Except Dead 1.

Man Is Paired, 2 Half 4 Self.

1 of God Is Only 1/4 Of God.

Bible A Lie & Word Is Lies.

Navel Connects 4 Corner 4s.

God Is Born Of A Mother –

She Left Belly B. Signature.

Every Priest Has Ma Sign

But Lies To Honor Queers.

Belly B. Proves 4 Corners.



Your dirty lying teachers

use only the midnight to

midnight 1 day (ignoring

3 other days) Time to not

foul (already wrong) bible

time. Lie that corrupts earth

you educated stupid fools.



GoBelly-Button Logic Works.



When Do Teenagers Die?

Adults Eat Teenagers Alive,

No Record Of Their Death.

Father Son Image, Not Gods.

Every Man Born Of Woman.





Belly-Button Is the Signature

Of Your Personal Creator -

I Believe Her Name Mama.



Pastor Told His Flock That

God Created All Of Them -

Truth Was That They All had

Mama Made Belly Buttons,

Church Was Full Of Liars.



Earth Has 4 Days In Same 24 Hrs., 1 Day God Was Wrong.

Einstein Was ONEist Brain.

Try My Belly-Button Logic.

No God Knows About 4 Days, It Is Evil To Ignore 4 Days,

Does Your Teacher Know ?



Fraudulent ONEness of religious

academia has retarded your opposite

rationale brain to a half brain slave.

YOU IGNORE 3 OF 4 DAYS -

FORCE 4 DAYS ON EARTH,

THEY ALREADY EXIST.

4 HORSEMEN HAVE 4 DAYS

IN ONLY 1 EARTH ROTATION.

4 ANGLES STOOD ON 4 CORNERS.

4 CORNERS ROTATE TO 16 CORNERS

WHICH EQUAL TO 4 CORNER DAYS.

TEACHERS ARE EVIL LIARS - THE

ONEness OF GOD IS STILLness DEATH.

YOU WERE ONEness RETARD ON THE
EARTH OPPOSITES ALL YOUR LIFE.
LOVE OF GOD IS HATE OF CHILDREN.
SUPPORT TIMECUBE OR BE CURSED.

EARTH HAS 4 CORNER

SIMULTANEOUS 4-DAY

TIME CUBE

WITHIN SINGLE ROTATION.

4 CORNER DAYS PROVES 1

DAY 1 GOD IS TAUGHT EVIL.

IGNORANCE OF TIMECUBE4

SIMPLE MATH IS RETARDATION

AND EVIL EDUCATION DAMNATION.

CUBELESS AMERICANS DESERVE -

AND SHALL BE EXTERMINATED.

******************************************************************************

The ONLY Official Site
For Gene Ray/TimeCube.
Need Help - Donate to Timecube/Gene Ray at PayPal

******************************************************************************
I am a Knower of 4 corner
simultaneous 24 hour Days
that occur within a single
4 corner rotation of Earth.
*********************************************************************

God guise for Queer
scam, enslaves 4 Day

cube brain as ONEist.

Vilify teachers - for

Queers swindle Tithe

from 1 Day Retarded

***********************************************************************

Till You KNOW 4 Simultaneous Days
Rotate In Same 24 Hours Of Earth
You Don't Deserve To Live On Earth



Americans are actually RETARDED from

Religious Academia taught ONEism -upon

an Earth of opposite poles, covered by Mama

Hole and Papa Pole pulsating opposite sexes.

The ONEist educated with their flawed 1 eye

perspective (opposite eyes overlay) Cyclops

mentality, inflicts static non pulsating logos

as a fictitious queer same sex transformation.

**********************************

It Is The Absolute Verifiable Truth & Proven Fact
That Your Belly-Button Signature Ties
To Viviparous Mama.

**********************************

Life is pulsing opposite mirror Pairs,

Death is ONEness of Godism.

****************************************************************************************

ONE - DOES NOT EXIST,

EXCEPT IN DEATH STATE.
ONE IS A DEMONIC RELIGIOUS LIE.
*************************************
Until you can tear and burn the bible to
escape the EVIL ONE, it will be impossible
for your educated stupid brain to know that
4 different corner harmonic 24 hour Days
rotate simultaneously within a single 4
quadrant rotation of a squared equator
and cubed Earth. The Solar system, the
Universe, the Earth and all humans are
composed of + 0 - antipodes, and equal
to nothing if added as a ONE or Entity.
All Creation occurs between Opposites.
Academic ONEism destroys +0- brain.
If you would acknowledge
simple existing math proof
that 4 harmonic corner days
rotate simultaneously around
squared equator and cubed
Earth, proving 4 Days, Not
1Day,1Self,1Earth or 1God
that exists only as anti-side.
This page you see - cannot
exist without its anti-side
existence, as +0- antipodes.
Add +0- as One = nothing.
**********************************************************************
Seek Awesome Lectures,
MY WISDOM DEBUNKS GODS OF
ALL RELIGIONS AND ACADEMIA.

We have a Major Problem,
Creation is Cubic Opposites,
2 Major Corners & 2 Minor.
Mom/Dad & Son/Daughter,
NOT taught Evil ONEism,
which VOIDS Families.
******************************************************************************************
Seek Wisdom of Cubic Life
Intelligence - or you die evil.
****************************************************************************************
Evil God Believers refuse to
acknowledge 4 corner Days
rotating simultaneously around
4 quadrant created Earth -
in only 1 rotation, voiding the
Oneism Evil 1 Day 1 God.
You worship Satanic impostor
guised by educators as 1 god.

No 1 God equals 4 - 24 hour
Days Rotating Simultaneously
within 1- 24 hour Rotation of
4 quadrant created Earth.
Ignoring 4 Corner Earth Days
will Destroy Evil Humanity.
I am organizing Children to
join "Cubic Army of 4 Days"
to convert Evil 1 Day Adults
to 4 Day mentality existence,
to serve perpetual humanity.

"Nothing on Earth more Evil
than a human educated as 1,
when composed of opposites
that cancel out as an entity."
In fact, man is the only 1 Evil,
and will soon erase himself by
ignoring Cubic 4 Day Creation.
If a Man cannot tear a page
from the bible and burn it -
then he cannot be a scientist,
or participate in Symposium -
to measure Cubing of Earth
with Cubic intelligence wiser
than any man or god known.
Educators have destroyed the
human analytical brain to a
single perspective, in spite of
all creation within Universe
being based upon opposites,
binaries & antipodes, including
Sun/Earth binary relative to the

human male/female binary. No
ancient insignificant dead 1 Jew
godism can match or exceed the
enormity of the Sun/Earth
Binary. His heart is not big
enough for sharing with the
vastness of created opposites.
1 has no heart beat or breath,
constituting death of opposites.
God in Human form has human

limits as body controls activity.
You are taught Evil, You act
Evil, You are the Evil on Earth.
Only your comprehending the
Divinity of Cubic Creation will
your soul be saved from your
created hell on Earth - induced
by your ignoring the existing
4 corner harmonic simultaneous
4 Days rotating in a single cycle
of the Earth sphere. Religious/
Academic Pedants cannot allow
4 Days that contradict 1Day 1God.
Educators destroy your brain,
but you don't know, so why care?

Creation ocurrs via opposites,
but Religious/Academia pedants
suppress it teaching Satanic One.

After 30 years of research, I now
possess the Order of Harmonic
Antipodal Cubic Divinity Life -
too large for physical form, but
Binary Spirit of the masculinity
Sun & feminity Earth Antipodes.
ONEism is demonic Death Math.
I have so much to teach you, but
you ignore me you evil asses.
You will recognize 4 corner Days
or incur Easter Island Ending.

Never a Genius knew Math
to achieve my Cubic Wisdom.
Cubic thought Reigns as the
Highest Intelligence possible
on the planet Earth. One 96
hour rotating Cube within a
single rotation of Earth -- is
an Ineffable Transcendence.
Bible and Science falsify 1
corner day for the Cubic 4
corner Days rotating daily.
A single god is not possible
in our 4 Day Cubic Science,
that equates Cubic Divinity.
Everybody is both stupid and
evil for ignoring the 4 days.
Cube Divinity transcends all
knowledge, Humans can't
escape 4 corner Cubic Life.
Fools worship mechanics of
language - while they wallow
in fictitious & deceitful word.
Exact science based on Cubics,
not on theories. Wisdom is
Cubic testing of knowledge.
Academia is progression of
Ignorance. No god equals
Simultaneous 4 Day Creation.
Humans ignore their 4 corner
stages of life metamorphosis.
This site is a collection of data
for a coming book - peruse it.
No human has 2 hands as they
are opposites, like plus and
minus, that cancel as entity.
Academia destroys your brain,
your ability to think opposite.
The eyes of the flounder fish
were relocated, why were yours

relocated? Your opposite eyes
were moved to 1 corner to overlay
for single perspective, but that
corrupts your Opposite Brain.
Image

DarkSurfer
Ordo Hereticus
Posts: 11860
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:03 am
Location: Dept. of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by DarkSurfer »

Jagdtiger’s (Hunting Tiger) development started in February of 1943 and on October 20th of 1943, wooden mock-up was presented to Adolf Hitler. Jagdtiger’s role was to support infantry and combat armoured vehicles at long ranges. Two prototypes, one with Porsche suspension (made up of 8 roadwheels) and one with Henschel suspension (made up of 9 roadwheels) were completed in February of 1944.Its first designation was Jagdpanzer VI, but later on it was named Jagdtiger and received number Sd.Kfz.186.Production was planned to start in December of 1943 but started in July of 1944 but PzKpfw V Panther‘s production received priority and Jagdtiger’s production was slow. In January of 1945, Jagdtiger’s production received priority but the overall situation did not allow the full-scale production.

The Jagdtiger was based on the Tiger II‘s lengthened chassis (by 260mm) and components. It was armed with 128mm Pak 44 L/55 gun (taken from the Maus) and one, later two MG34/42 machine guns for local and later air defence. The gun had limited traverse of 10 degrees to the left and to the right. Its gun was the most powerful and the largest anti-tank weapon used in action during WWII and it could easily destroy any Allied tank from the range beyond the reach of most Allied guns. The maximum range of the gun was 22410 meters.Jagdtiger was operated by the crew of six. The space inside allowed only 38 to 40 heavy two-piece (projectile and the cartridge) rounds of armor piercing and high explosive ammunition to be stored, which were handled by two loaders. Gun was mounted in a centrally mounted fixed heavy armored box-like superstructure. The sides of the superstructure were one-piece sloping plates with the sides of the hull.

Jagdtiger resembled King Tiger with the difference of having a superstructure instead of the turret and had much higher profile what made it a large target for the enemy.Jagdtigers were mounted with two different types of running gear, Henschel’s gear (74 models) and Porsche’s gear (11 models produced from February to September of 1944). Porsche’s gear was simpler along with being half times cheaper and less time consuming to produce than that of Henschel. Henschel’s gear roadwheels (800mm in diameter) were slightly larger than those used in Porsche’s gear (700mm in diameter).
Image

User avatar
The Nightman
Not actually a granny
Posts: 2386
Joined: Fri Dec 28, 2012 2:25 am
Location: Location Location

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by The Nightman »

[Citation Needed] wrote:I am the most least quotable person.

Riku
Posts: 11152
Joined: Sat Oct 03, 2009 5:08 am
Location: somewhere in a general that-way direction
Contact:

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Riku »

I won't lie, I am legitimately not sure what a moderator is to do in this situation.

You win again, Dark.

DarkSurfer
Ordo Hereticus
Posts: 11860
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:03 am
Location: Dept. of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by DarkSurfer »

Image
Image

User avatar
Liraxus
a title saying "CLODS!"
Posts: 4815
Joined: Fri Jun 24, 2011 12:58 am
Location: Philadelphia's better neighbor

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Liraxus »

Image
Image

User avatar
hotb
lord shitpost
Posts: 13055
Joined: Sat Aug 22, 2009 2:51 pm
Location: C:\Mappen
Contact:

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by hotb »

tfw your pingdonk gets splorch
100% Medically Accurate
Image

Wry Bread
Posts: 1569
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2007 5:55 pm
Location: cats
Contact:

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Wry Bread »

Theodora of Khazaria was the second Empress consort of Justinian II of the Byzantine Empire. She was a sister of Busir, Khagan of Khazars, but their relation to other Khazar rulers such as Bihar, father of future Empress Tzitzak, is unknown.

Justinian II had first succeeded to the throne in 685. However, in 695, Justinian was deposed by a coup d'état under strategos Leontios. Justinian's nose and tongue were slit and he was exiled to Cherson in the Crimea.

Justinian stayed in Cherson for about seven years with no apparent incident. However, rumors that the deposed Emperor was plotting his restoration came to the attention of the city authorities ca. 702. They decided to arrest him and sent him to Constantinople, surrendering his fate to Tiberios III. Justinian instead escaped Cherson and sought refuge in the court of Busir.

Busir welcomed the exile and formed a familial relation to Justinian by marrying him to his sister, whose original name is unknown, in 703. Theodora was her baptismal name and marks her conversion to Chalcedonian Christianity. The name was probably chosen to evoke memories of Theodora, wife of Justinian I. Busir provided the couple with funds and a house in Phanagoria.

Tiberios eventually took notice of the new marrital alliance and bribed Busir in exchange for the head of Justinian. According to the chronicle of Theophanes the Confessor, ca. 704 Busir dispatched two agents to murder his brother-in-law, Balgitzin and Papatzys. Theodora became aware of their mission and warned her husband in advance, enabling him to strangle both men and sail in a fishing boat back to Cherson.

Theodora was left behind in the custody of her brother. Their only known son Tiberios is considered to have been born at some point during the separation of his parents, indicating Theodora was pregnant prior to the escape.

In 705, Justinian formed a new alliance, this time with Tervel of Bulgaria. With an army of 15,000 horsemen provided by him, Justinian suddenly advanced on Constantinople and managed to gain entrance into the city. He deposed Tiberios III and regained his throne. Theodora was the new Empress consort but was still in the custody of her brother.

According to the chronicle of Theophanes and the Chronographikon syntomon of Ecumenical Patriarch Nikephoros I of Constantinople, Justinian was planning to reclaim his wife by force. In 705/706, a detachment of the Byzantine navy was sent to the Sea of Azov to escort Theodora back, but the fleet was sunk by a storm before reaching their destination.

Busir wrote to his brother-in-law and informed him that war was unnecessary. He was free to reclaim Theodora as soon as he sent emissaries to escort her and, according to Theophanes, he also informed Justinian of the existence of his son, Tiberios. Theophylaktos, a koubikoularios, was sent to bring them back to Constantinople with no further incident. Theodora was crowned Augusta and Tiberios was proclaimed co-emperor to secure his succession rights.
100% Canon

My Skype is paragonkoh and my Discord is Catbread (#9071)

Kamak
Riku's other favorite
Posts: 10354
Joined: Tue May 03, 2011 3:07 am
Location: disregard my location

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Kamak »

I took a massive shit today
-K-
Image
.
ImageImage

DarkSurfer
Ordo Hereticus
Posts: 11860
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 10:03 am
Location: Dept. of Shadowy Arts and Crafts

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by DarkSurfer »

uhm excuse me this is the too much information thread not the fuckin....Toilet...Mouth....Internship thread........
Image

Blitz Walrus
Heavyweight Champion of the Forum
Posts: 6054
Joined: Sat Jul 16, 2011 9:30 pm
Location: PARTS UNKNOWN

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Blitz Walrus »

Image
Image
Image
Image

User avatar
Fordicon98
Posts: 268
Joined: Mon Aug 11, 2014 4:35 pm

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Fordicon98 »

Do you recall a time before Chairman Dark Surfer, Esq. got interested in diluting the nation's sense of common purpose and shared sacrifice? If so, then you must be a lot older than I because that's pretty much all Chairman Surfer wants to do nowadays. Please note that many of the conclusions I'm about to draw are based on cogent and virtually incontrovertible evidence provided by a set of people who have suffered immensely on account of Chairman Surfer.

Chairman Surfer frequently avers his support of democracy and his love of freedom. But one need only look at what Chairman Surfer is doing—as opposed to what he is saying—to understand his true aims. His ultimata are becoming increasingly crass. They have already begun to oppress, segregate, and punish others. Now fast-forward a few years to a time in which they have enabled Chairman Surfer to establish tacit boundaries and ground rules for the permissible spectrum of opinion. If you don't want such a time to come then help me raise issues, as opposed to guns or knives. Help me build bridges instead of walls.

In some sense, Chairman Surfer's twisted dream of destroying our culture, our institutions, and our way of life has triumphed. Of course, this would better be called a nightmare, not a dream. In point of contrast, I'm one of those people who dreams about treating the blows of circumstance. That's why I write that to believe that the cure for evil is more evil is to deceive ourselves. Chairman Surfer publicly disavows his ties to nosism while secretly encouraging his hirelings to shove us towards an absolute state of vassalage. Now let us consider a more concrete example of Chairman Surfer's desire to make us dependent on brassbound hypochondriacs for political representation, economic support, social position, and psychological approval. In particular, think about the way that I would like to believe that Chairman Surfer acts with our interests in mind. I really would. But Chairman Surfer sure makes it difficult to believe such things. For instance, he wants us to emulate the White Queen from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass, who strives to believe “as many as six impossible things before breakfast”. Then again, even the White Queen would have trouble believing that it's inappropriate to teach children right from wrong. I prefer to believe things that my experience tells me are true, such as that I admit I have a tendency to become a bit insensitive whenever I rebuke Chairman Surfer for trying to toss quaint concepts like decency, fairness, and rational debate out the window. While I am desirous of mending this tiny personality flaw, I myself can't make heads or tails of Chairman Surfer's accusations. I mean, does he want to provide material support for terrorism, or doesn't he?

Since Chairman Surfer claims to know more than the rest of us, I'm sure he's aware that it's sad that his most full-throated claim is that diseases can be defeated not through standard medical research but through the creation of a new language, one that does not stigmatize certain groups and behaviors. One would think he could strive for a little more accuracy there. He could perhaps even admit that he should stop telling everyone that his teachings are innovative. More apt words for them might be “static” or “stale” or the phrase, “been done” with the possible addition, “too often.” What I'm getting at is that Chairman Surfer's premise (that our freedoms should survive on the crumbs that fall from the banquet table of particularism) is his morality disguised as pretended neutrality. Chairman Surfer uses this disguised morality to support his fibs, thereby making his argument self-refuting.

People who believe that individual worth is defined by race, ethnicity, religion, or national origin need to be worked over with an oak table leg and then sentenced to 20 years of hard labor in order to straighten out their thinking. Confronted with this pile of words, the reader may be inclined to nod and move on. However, I ask that you stop for a moment and look: Chairman Surfer has been trying desperately to convince us that his decisions are based on reason. These stinking attempts at suasion are basically a bald admission that Chairman Surfer is planning on impinging upon our daily lives when you least expect it. As a matter of policy, ignorant skivers should not engage in an endless round of finger pointing, but this has never stopped Chairman Surfer.

Chairman Surfer's true goal is to impact public policy for years to come. All the statements that his bootlickers make to justify or downplay that goal are only apologetics; they do nothing to rage, rage against the dying of the light. Still, we shouldn't jump to conclusions, even though it is a known fact that I've tried to explain to Chairman Surfer's bitter, snappish acolytes, who are legion, that as long as I live and breathe, I will strive to reveal some shocking facts about Chairman Surfer's metanarratives. As could be expected, they were a bit slow on the uptake. I just couldn't get them to comprehend that Chairman Surfer has gotten carried away with trivializing certain events that are particularly special to us all. It's pretty clear from this lack of restraint that he would push our efforts two steps backward, all at the drop of a hat. It's therefore imperative that we question orthodoxy and convention, as doing so will let Chairman Surfer know that I and Chairman Surfer part company when it comes to the issue of boosterism. He feels that he never engages in baleful, contumelious, or careless politics while I avouch that I profess that the best way to overcome misunderstanding, prejudice, and hate is by means of reason, common sense, clear thinking, and goodwill. Chairman Surfer, in contrast, believes that war is peace, freedom is slavery, and ignorance is strength. The conclusion to draw from this conflict of views should be obvious: Chairman Surfer's disregard for democracy is surpassed only by his lust for power and riches. I can reword my point as follows: My love for people necessitates that I examine Chairman Surfer's worldview from the perspective of its axiology (values) and epistemology (ways of knowing). Yes, I face opposition from Chairman Surfer. However, this is not a reason to quit but to strive harder.

We must indeed lend support to the thesis that I speak from experience. This is not because doing so is the moralistic pipe dream of the uninformed citizenry but because many serious practitioners of international statecraft see it as an essential goal of a sustainable international order. I have even heard from such practitioners that Chairman Surfer expects us to behave like passive sheep. The only choice he believes we should be allowed to make for ourselves is whether to head towards his slaughterhouse at a trot or at a gallop. Chairman Surfer obviously doesn't want us choosing to restore the world back to its original balance.

Chairman Surfer is an expert at calming his critics with sweet inversions of the truth. In case you don't believe me, consider how he has managed to convince an alarming number of people that superstition is no less credible than proven scientific principles. He does this even though he knows full well that when his possession-obsessed utterances are translated into plain, words-mean-things English, Chairman Surfer appears to be saying that he possesses infinite wisdom. For me, this scary, malodorous moonshine serves only to emphasize how it's easy for us to shake our heads at Chairman Surfer's foolishness and cowardice. It's easy for us to exclaim that we should offer a framework for discussion so that we can more quickly reach a consensus. It's easy for us to say, “One fact that has been established beyond peradventure is that Chairman Surfer's ignorant attempts to debunk myths often lead to the perpetuation of them.” The point is that it's easy for us to say these things because I find that some of Chairman Surfer's choices of words in his programs of Gleichschaltung would not have been mine. For example, I would have substituted “callous” for “establishmentarianism” and “bloody-minded” for “pseudolamellibranchiate.”

Another point worth thinking about is that there is no real way to undo the consequences of Chairman Surfer's worthless, reprehensible grievances, pure and simple. Be forewarned: I've heard of peremptory things like teetotalism and ableism. But I've also heard of things like nonviolence, higher moralities, and treating all beings as ends in and of themselves—ideas that Chairman Surfer's ignorant, unthinking, maledicent brain is too small to understand.

Chairman Surfer used to maintain that violence directed at his enemies is morally justified. When he realized that no one was falling for that claptrap, he quickly changed his tune to say that alabandical carpers should be fêted at wine-and-cheese fund-raisers. Chairman Surfer is undeniably a ludibrious liar, and shame on anyone who believes him. When I was a child my clergyman told me, “Chairman Surfer's platitudes epitomize plagiarism in its truest form.” If you think about it you'll see his point. No matter how much talk and analysis occurs, Chairman Surfer's catch-phrases are a moral abomination. He will almost certainly tiptoe around that glaringly evident fact because if he didn't, you might come to realize that unlike everyone else in the world, he seriously believes that Lysenkoism is indispensable for the formation of citizens and for the preservation of our free institutions. Woo woooo! Here comes the clue train. Last stop: Chairman Surfer. I'll now end this letter by reminding you that Chairman Dark Surfer, Esq. always gives noncommittal answers to questions. That may not be the profoundest of insights to take away from such a long letter, but he worships his own ignorance.
Something something butts

User avatar
Cori
jackie chan jackie chan jackie chan jackie chan jackie chan
Posts: 8249
Joined: Tue Jul 28, 2009 6:45 pm
Location: hella
Contact:

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Cori »

According to all known laws
of aviation,
there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.
Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.
The bee, of course, flies anyway
because bees don't care
what humans think is impossible.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Ooh, black and yellow!
Let's shake it up a little.
Barry! Breakfast is ready!
Ooming!
Hang on a second.
Hello?
- Barry?
- Adam?
- Oan you believe this is happening?
- I can't. I'll pick you up.
Looking sharp.
Use the stairs. Your father
paid good cheddar for those.
Sorry. I'm excited.
Here's the graduate.
We're very proud of you, son.
A perfect report card, all B's.
Very proud.
Ma! I got a thing going here.
- You got lint on your fuzz.
- Ow! That's me!
- Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.
- Bye!
Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!


- Hey, Adam.
- Hey, Barry.
- Is that fuzz gel?
- A little. Special day, graduation
Never thought I'd make it.
Three days grade school,
three days high school.
Those were awkward.
Three days college. I'm glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.
You did come back different.
- Hi, Barry.
- Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.
- Hear about Frankie?
- Yeah.
- You going to the funeral?
- No, I'm not going.
Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.
Don't waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.
I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.
I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.
That's why we don't need vacations.
Boy, quite a bit of pomp...
under the circumstances.


- Well, Adam, today we are men.
- We are!


- Bee-men.
- Amen!


Hallelujah!
Students, faculty, distinguished bees.
please welcome Dean Buzzwell.
Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of...
...9:15.
That concludes our ceremonies.
And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it's just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.


Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

- Wonder what it'll be like?
- A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life
to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.
Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.
Our top-secret formula
is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured
into this soothing sweet syrup
with its distinctive
golden glow you know as...
Honey!

- That girl was hot.
- She's my cousin!

- She is?
- Yes, we're all cousins.

- Right. You're right.
- At Honex, we constantly strive
to improve every aspect
of bee existence.
These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.

- What do you think he makes?
- Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.

- What does that do?
- Oatches that little strand of honey
that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know
that every small job,
if it's done well, means a lot.
But choose carefully
because you'll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.
The same job the rest of your life?
I didn't know that.

What's the difference?

You'll be pop flyin' to know that bees,
as a species, haven't had one day off
in 27 million years.

So you'll just work us to death?

We'll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

"What's the difference?"
How can you say that?

One job forever?
That's an insane choice to have to make.

I'm relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?
We're bees.
We're the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don't know. But you know
what I'm talking about.

Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

- Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
- Wow.
I've never seen them this close.
They know what it's like
outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don't come back.

- Hey, Jocks!
- Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You're monsters!
You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

- I wonder where they were.
- I don't know.

Their day's not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.

You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That's more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It's just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?
Aren't they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

- Oouple of Hive Harrys.
- Let's have fun with them.

It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!
- Oh, my!
- I never thought I'd knock him out.
What were you doing during this?
Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today,
wasn't it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We're hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.

- Six miles, huh?
- Barry!

A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you're not up for it.
- Maybe I am.
- You are not!

We're going 0900 at J-Gate.
What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?
I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!
Dad, you surprised me.
You decide what you're interested in?
- Well, there's a lot of choices.
- But you only get one.
Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?
Image
[8:18:42 AM] Joh Terraem: Cori, I've always found your encyclopedic knowledge of dicks to be quite charming and repulsive at the same time

Zink
Posts: 4706
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2009 9:04 pm
Location: Here
Contact:

Re: TMI THREAD VERSION SOMETHING OR OTHER

Post by Zink »

Hi, I'm washed up former forum celebrity Zink. you may remember me from such threads as "that oblivion let's play a couple people liked six years ago" and "the thread about the poorly drawn gay romance comic". I've been paid approximately eighteen dollars and thirty-eight cents to say that I endorse this thread. Remember, if it ain't TMI unfunny waste of space, time and resources, it ain't quality unfunny waste of space, time and resources

Post Reply