Everybody's Gay: LGBTQA Support Thread

[SaintCrazy]

Or you could try saying something along the lines of "idk, i thought that guy's hair was pretty cool". Just to simply let him know you didn't agree. He might ease up on the disparaging comments a bit if he knows you have a differing opinion.

Of course there is also a risk he'd argue about it. All the more reason to reaffirm how much of a douche he is.

[Rinoko]

I recorded myself in my normal speaking voice to show you guys how I sound now.

I'll make more audio recordings once I begin vocal therapy.

Edit: Also sorry for my shitty mic.

[Rinoko]

Someone on Imgur found my earlier post and apologized for everyone being assholes, so that was pretty nice!

[Wiffle]

Yay! I'm glad.

On the other hand I am very upset that people are comparing this whole situation with Rachel Dolezal to being transgender. How offensive can you get when you compare cultural appropriation to gender identity right?

[Riku]

Oh lawd. I go to the university that lady works (worked?) at. I was actually wondering the first time I saw her "huh, she must have a lot of white people on at least one side of her family." And to be fair, she is married into a black family, and has several degrees in the cultural studies (I forget if she's got multiple Masters' or a Doctorate). So she knows what the fuck she's talking about regarding her work.
It's just really stupid that she felt the need to lie about being part black/american indian.

[TerraChimaera]

Gay people are rad

[Wiffle]

Oh lawd. I go to the university that lady works (worked?) at. I was actually wondering the first time I saw her "huh, she must have a lot of white people on at least one side of her family." And to be fair, she is married into a black family, and has several degrees in the cultural studies (I forget if she's got multiple Masters' or a Doctorate). So she knows what the fuck she's talking about regarding her work.
It's just really stupid that she felt the need to lie about being part black/american indian.

Still, knowing a lot about a culture and having a lot of personal connections to people who are legitimately a part of it doesn't quite justify cultural appropriation.

[Chopstix]

Last night was the first night ever i hung out with a groupnof nust gay men since coming out and it was really awesome feeling. I'd encourage anyone to find a group like that or even go to a youth/adult community center. Like the first time in a long time no one commented on how my wrists get 'bendy' or how im not acting completely 'straight' and it was just nice to be myself for a change.

[[Citation Needed]]

no one commented on how my wrists get 'bendy'

Haha, what? Bendy wrists?

Is that the 'limp wrist' gay stereotype thing? That's terribly amusing. I am imagining your coworker or someone (a 60+ year old woman in my mind) who is extremely concerned with how bendy your wrists seem to be.


So I had to work with the Totally Adorable but Unfortunately Bigoted and Straight coworker tonight.
It went okay. He keeps wearing my jacket when he does the walk-in cooler stuff. :/ Half of my brain says "bweep bwoop bweep bwoop it's a signal" and the other half says "SHUT UP OTHER HALF OF BRAIN, IT'S THE ONLY JACKET BACK THERE THAT ISN'T 3X"

[Otherwise]

How offensive can you get when you compare cultural appropriation to gender identity right?

Out of honest curiosity, what would you say are the distinctions between the two?

[[Citation Needed]]

Aren't they two completely different things...?

"What would you say are the distinctions between bananas and eggplants?"
"Well, one of them is yellow and the other is purple."

[Rinoko]

Because gender isn't a culture and race is something you're born with.

Gender is a social construct, so you can identify with whatever makes you most comfortable.

However, you can't identify as a race you aren't a part of because unlike gender identity, that is determined when you're born. And trying to pass as black is also incredibly arrogant and offensive because not only was that not the race she was born into, but doing so also means she is taking a culture she isn't a part of and trying make it hers. That's completely inconsiderate to people who are a part of black culture because that culture is part of who they are as a people, hence it's cultural appropriation.

That's not to say that you can't hang out with black friends or participate in some events typically found in said culture. White rappers and break dancers aren't offensive or anything. It's when you try to say that you belong to a culture that you don't belong to that it becomes a problem. You can be among a different culture, but not a part of it.

And personally I do think some arguments about cultural appropriation are bullshit, like I really don't think Iggy Azalea rapping using a "black" voice is outrage worthy, but then who am I to say? I'm not a member of black culture and I never can be, so try as I might, I won't ever really know that culture fully. Maybe there's something to it I don't see right now. Heck, maybe somebody could explain it to me to some degree and I might change my mind.

But not completely knowing a culture isn't the same as not caring about the people in it. Just because one doesn't understand someone else's lifestyle doesn't mean you can't support them and care about cultural issues. In fact you probably should care about different cultures to spread awareness, acceptance, and tolerance.

So many problems around the world could be made so much simpler if we'd just learn from each other.

[[Citation Needed]]

I really don't think Iggy Azalea rapping using a "black" voice is outrage worthy

Is a black voice a thing? From my experience it is entirely impossible to 100% determine ethnicity via vocal cords. I've worked in customer service positions for the last 5 years so I have had a lot of people shout things at the back of my head, and it is impossible to know skin color without turning and looking.

I mean yeah there is that stereotypical "angry black woman" voice that "funny" teenagers talk with sometimes, but that's the extent of that, as far as I know.

[Rinoko]

Yeah, I'm not really sure about that one, either, hence the quotes.

I just know she catches a lot of flak for that.

[Otherwise]

It wasn't too long ago that gender was something you were born with also. While it's relatively easy to accept the idea that gender roles aren't what they used to be, now a person's gender and sex are supposedly no longer static either. What used to be "normal" is now "cisgender" due to popularly shifting standards. Based on what? Apparently not biology or medical procedure, since I'm repeatedly told that what's between one's legs isn't as important as what's in one's heart and mind.

So why is it different for someone's skin tone?

"You can be among a different culture, but not a part of it."
"...doing so also means she is taking a culture she isn't a part of and trying make it hers."

Really? The idea that you can appropriate a new culture is one of the foundational tenets of American society. It's what "melting pot" means. You might have been German or Mexican or Chinese before, but when you come to America and gain citizenship you become American and adopt that culture as your own. Why is it such a detestable idea to admire a culture different than one's own, identify with that culture, and wish to integrate oneself into that culture enough that one decides one wants to become part of that culture? The difference between the American melting pot and the white/black boundary lies in skin color and ancestry, but if people are so adamantly opposed to crossing those boundaries can't that be chalked down to the kinds of racial divides that society is trying to eliminate?

What part of black culture, I wonder, is so exclusive that a white woman can't incorporate it?

To be clear, I don't agree with either claim. In my opinion race and gender are both still traits granted at birth that don't change. Because of that, however, I can't see how one is so mind-blowingly offensive if you accept the other as valid. Substitute the words "culture" or "race" for "gender" or "sex" in Marcato's post and things start looking really familiar.

And the idea that race isn't a distinction made at birth isn't a new one either.

http://www.newsweek.com/there-no-such-thing-race-283123

For that matter, what do you make of people who've recently been identified as "trans-abled": physically healthy individuals who believe they should have been born as or become disabled and go as far as maiming themselves to more closely meet their self-image?