AWKWARD ZOMBIE

the cigarette makes it

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I looked up on the internet why I can't take compliments from Tuxedo Mask very well and one website helpfully said it might have to do with my social anxiety while bodaciously all the others told me it's because I'm a egotistical man-hating feminist bitch who thinks every man is out to rape her. Tha...

“bye honey, i’m off to work”

i remember when you used to be able to buy chicken on a popsicle stick

i'm not kidding

they even had jokes written on them

these chicken nuggets taste like wotsits

"we're the real victims here!"

Casual ableism is wishing me for my birthday to “stay healthy”. I haven’t been “healthy” for the past 5 years.

casual ableism is telling someone to fuck off. not everyone can just “fuck off”

i'm trying to find my slip on shoes in the cupboard but i can't because everyone bodaciously just throws all their shoes and coats in there and you can't actually get into the cupboard because there's a really tall shoe rack in the way and it's got cat litter bags on top so you can't pull them out t...

I’m going to make you a sandwich. This seems retarded, right? See, to most guys, it’s usually the other way around. But no. I’m not like that. I want to prove to you that I’m not like the sexist guys out there in this world. You don’t belong in a kitchen, because you belong in my heart. Sincerely, ...

i like how if i use the window button during the sims the game will crash and so i spent 20 minutes waiting for it to load for nothing