The Dating Stories/Progress thread

[scebboaliwiw]

You can find other, better people who are gorgeous.

[D-vid]

He's absolutely gorgeous though.

He's a dogturd spraypainted gold.

[Liraxus]

Just try to figure out what you want to do in life and try not to be desperate for other people, lots of people who are desperate tend to do irrational things and it usually ends up badly for them with either a broken heart or other mental damage. Just do what everyone keeps telling you. Focus on doing stuff for yourself, treat yourself some times, find hobbies, enjoy your current favorite activities, just try to forget about relations, your ex's sound like douchebags anyways, it sucks to be desperate, but you'll get over it if you just do 'you' things for a while.

[Reyo]

He's absolutely gorgeous though.

Your priorities with men are a little misplaced, Natch.

[Nachalnik]

Why am I not interested in making friends unless I can date them? The second I find out I can't I'm out off the friendship. I just end it.

Someone said it's because I'm autistic but I don't know.

Advice?

[Liraxus]

That's what can happen when you get desperate, you put everything else aside and try to focus on finding someone to love, but as we've recommended before, try and do stuff for YOU. Don't worry about dating, you have all the time in the world, try and just keep some friends without rushing right into a relationship, get to know your friends more instead of pushing them away because it'll more or less lead you to just being back at square one, patience is a part of finding someone that can be very rewarding.

I can't say I know much about Autism, but my mom knows a good bit on it considering my sister has Autism, so I'll ask her and get back to you on it, but I highly doubt it's autism personally.

[Vax]

I think you're obsessed to an unhealthy degree with the idea of a relationship. This probably comes a bit from a lack of positive feedback from other people in your life (specifically your parents), as well as a lack of self confidence. I think that you have the mistaken assumption that being in a relationship with a cute boy will somehow validate you in some way, but it really won't.

It's true that some of your issues may stem from your high functioning autism. A lot of people with autism, even high functioning, have cited difficulty with relationships and interpersonal stuff in general. I've had a lot of friends with wide ranges of developmental disabilities who are actually in healthy relationships, but they pretty much all said that they had trouble at first either with intimacy, or actually functioning in the relationship. They said it's important ti be forthcoming about it, even if it's embarassing.

I think if you try to not fixate on the idea of having an intimate relationship, you'll find that it's easier to make actual friends and learn to be healthy and pop flyin' around other people!

[Tales]

i had my first break up and the only thing i felt was relief so like that's good

[spongedav]

Chopstix:

First and foremost, convince yourself that you are good enough to be dated/hooked up with. I find what helps is aiming low, then I never feel bad when I skip the gym for two weeks and dont look super hot cause the other guy is also not a magasine stud. Always remember, consent is a thing. If they are trying to get you in their pants, they want you in their pants. LOVE YO' SELF.

Nachalnik:

The ex game is a dangerous game. Rebounding on my current break up with my ex at the moment, and just... don't. Unless you have a long, complicated history and both understand it will never go anywhere past physical attraction, just don't go for an ex.

[The Nightman]

Advice?

Listening to the advice we've given you would be good advice.

Along with that, you could join a group or something and that way you'd be interacting with several people at once and creating friendships.

[Nachalnik]

Me and my ex had a stupid fight and I got really fed up basically and told him how he makes me cry everyday and how much of a struggle it is to deal with him all the time and he just went offline on me

Then I started to cry and about 20 seconds into the crying I realised I was actually really pop flyin' and actually relieved and I was just overwhelmed.

I feel really good. I unfriended him and there's no doubt I'm going to hear about it like the first time I unfriended him but I'm going to be really strong this time

[SaintCrazy]

I'm very pop flyin' for you Nacha! You're much better off not having to deal with him.

[Kamak]

Still single, still perfectly okay with that. Still finding cute guys and sighing as they wind up with girlfriends. Also doesn't help that I'm friends with most of them and it's awkward as fuck because I definitely don't want to ruin a friendship over finding them to be cute and I don't typically have feelings for them until we're friends (not that it stops me from thinking I'm just befriending them to get close to them).

Also some crushes from high school are getting married and at least one crush is gay and it's kinda... weird and sad.

Hmm... maybe I'm not as okay. I don't mind being single at all, I guess I just hate not confessing my feelings because it feels like I'm hiding from them or ashamed of myself? if that makes any sense.

[Wiffle]

Pretty much I finally got to where I finally accept I'm not suitable for people in this area of relationship, and there's nothing I can do about the fact. Keeping that in mind, I have been making a lot of friends instead! College is great for meeting cool people to chill with.

[Alkarii]

My mom said last night that she wants to set me up with a lady with whom she works, let's call her V. V has two young children, and apparently their father won't come around. The guy apparently said he wasn't screwing around on her, had a kid with another woman that was born within a couple weeks of one he had with V.

Now, I haven't been involved with anyone for more than 8 years, but is it wrong of me to want to avoid getting involved with this particular woman? I've only met her once, and she seemed nice. But I don't know what kind of shit may come along (I never do), but this seems risky. She's black, which isn't a problem for me, but I'm worried her family may have a problem with me getting involved with her, because, well, I'm not black.

Also, I don't like that my MOTHER is trying to get me a girlfriend. I'm not a pet or livestock, and I'm having trouble making enough cheddar to take care of myself.