EPIC BATTLE THREAD

[Shoolis]

2 cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other "Does this taste funny to you?"

[Exeres]

Heard it before.

Also I guess I'm allowing third contestants.

[John Craft]

Once I wanted to become a police officer, but I failed the IQ test when I arrived on time at the right building.

[Dedivax]

One day Berlusconi dies of heart attack and he ends up in Hell, where Satan's waiting for him.
"I don't know what to do!" Says the Devil, "You must stay here but this place is full!". After thinking about it, the Devil tells him "You know what? I have three people that have been as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, and you can take his place. I'll even let you decide which one!"
Berlusconi accepts and so the Devil opens the first door. In that room there is a big pool where Craxi [An italian politician] is diving, trying to get a big and shiny treasure that's on the pool floor, but he fails. So he tries again, and again, and again, but to no avail. In Hell, this is his destiny. "No, I'm not a great swimmer and I wouldn't resist being poor forever. I can't do this", Silvio says. In the second room there is Cossiga [Another italian dude], who must destroy an infinite number of big stones with a hugeass pickaxe. "No, you know my back really hurts, I can't do this for all eternity!"
In the third room there is Bill Clinton getting a blowjob from Monica Lewinski. Berlusconi can't believe his eyes and after a bit he says: "Yes, this will do". "Ok", says the Devil. "Monica, you can go now"

[Shoolis]

Wait this is a contest? WHATEV

[Exeres]

John Craft was funny, but Dedivax has POLITICS. He knows my soft spot.

ROUND 4: Dedivax

We are tied. Next round decides it.

ROUND 5: Grab a digital camera. Run outside and take a picture of a squirrel. I will judge the picture a la Pokemon Snap.

[Dedivax]

It's midnight here in Italy

[Exeres]

I hope your camera has night vision. And your squirrels nocturnal.

I realize this challenge is somewhat more difficult to perform than the previous challenges, so you both have five minutes to complete it.

[Dedivax]

I'm afraid I'll have to go Inception all over your booty

[Exeres]

I...

You know what? I've decided I don't want to know why it looks like that. Now I just need John Craft's entry.

[Dedivax]

Making of

[John Craft]

Sorry it took so long, it's midnight in France too
http://desmond.imageshack.us/Himg708/sc ... res=medium
The squirrel asked me to hide its face so I put this black stuff in front of his eyes
Hope it's... we're cool, huh ?

[Exeres]

Hmm...

Contrast... resolution... shutter speed... angle...



Shoolis wins. Offered me a blowjob for the battle and it turns out I'm a corrupt judge.

[Dedivax]

My Dave avatar is not amused

[Exeres]