COMIC IDEAS

[Omnithea]

Frustratician/Meowch:
Trainer Katie has adventures with Meowth.
Sends Meowth against Groudon.
Has Meowth push boulders around.
Takes Meowth to the store. Pays the cashier by slapping Meowth upside the head.
Sends Meowth up against Jynx. Tells it to use Pay Day. Jynx responds to money being thrown by stripping. Katie is already blindfolded.
Katie takes Meowth to Indigo Plateau. Sends it out against Lance's Dragonite.
KATIE: "Use Frustration."

Hot Spat:
Norrin climbs into Hot Springs. Relaxes. Attendant approaches him.
"Sir, could you please ask your Pokemon to get out?"
Norrin opens eyes and looks at water around him. Purple Muk, orange Slugma, gray Ditto are liquefied and stuck to other patrons.

Soup's On:
Alternatively Norrin walks into Hot Springs with Exeggcute, Marowak, Tepig, Farfetch'd, etc, and wakes up a few hours later wondering what smells so good.

Speed Oh No:
Trainer Katie defeats Swimmer. Swimmer hands over cash. Katie looks disappointed.
SWIMMER: "Sorry, can't carry much." Holds up speedos.

[Siege_TF]

Since HISHE (or to be exact their Batman and Superman characters) has flat out said they're not doing a Green Lantern episode...

Hal is moping around his brother's place and notices his nephew Jason glued to the TV in his room.
"Still watching those japaneese cartoons, eh?"
"They're called ANIME, uncle!"
*Bright flash on the T.V.*
"What the... Is this on DVD? Can you rewind that?"
*Green Lantern kills Parralax with a Kamehameha*
"I can't believe that wo..."
*Hals' hands are smouldering stumps*

OR

The Kamehameha wave blows his own head off because it comes out of his ring and not his palms.

[Omnithea]

This Big:
Trainer Katie uses Old Rod. Pulls up Magikarp on line. Sighs. Perks up at idea. Possibly indicated by Mareep tail lighting up in place of light bulb. Casts line with Magikarp still attached. Pulls back in to see that larger Pokemon has taken the Magikarp bait. Rinses, repeats until she catches Kyogre/Other Big Fish.

[Galaxy Man]

I Canteenven

Heavy and Medic are mowing down hundreds of robots. Heavy runs out of bullets.
Heavy grabs canteen and drinks it. Chokes on bullets.

[Lordy]

This reminds me. In the original games, you could only buy Fresh Water from Celadon City's vending machines in the Department Store. Because of this, and because Erika is the gym leader and she's got a greenhouse for a gym basically, I expected Celadon to be a more peaceful/clean/etc. city than Saffron with all of the buildings/businesses/crime/etc.

The water in Celadon is heavily polluted, as Grimer and Muk naturally spawn there. There are biker gangs all around Celadon aswell, and of course, the Rockets had an entire base in the city, which makes you question whether people just didn't notice, or if they were naive. Celadon was a huge metaphor for a city with a lost identity and a criminal underground losing itself in the modern world, and almost gone to the point of becoming a city like Saffron (and technically you contribute to that by stealing an Eevee from someone's house by going in the back door).

Plus, it makes me wonder if the reason Celadon sold Fresh Water had to do with the attitude in the 80's and 90's that it was better to spend extra cheddar for convenience than actually work to clean up the problem.

But maybe that's all just silly conjecture on my part.

Fun fact: In FRLG (but not gen 1, I checked) Grimer and Koffing have a 1% encounter rate through fishing in that one pond. In Gens 2 and 4, they're all you can find. And celadon's overall population has declined.

[Omnithea]

Sundae, Bloody Sundae:
Trainer Katie preps her team for battle. Gives each Pokemon an item to hold. Stops last at Vanillite. Puts Berry on top of its head. Licks lips.

One Basket/Scrambled/Not So Over Easy/Mortar Eggshelled/Egged On:
KATIE: "How are my Chansey and Exeggcute/Togetic doing?"
DAYCARE: "It's...complicated."
Daycare Lady leads Katie out back. There are eggs everywhere.
DAYCARE: "We don't know what's a Pokemon, what's Softboiled, what's a baby..."
Trainer Katie's eyes light up, she grabs the nearest egg. Egg explodes.
"...or what's an Egg Bomb.""

[Medic501]

Got another one for ye! This one's actually for Skyrim, NOT that original, but I'm just going with it here. If by some universal anomaly you have not completed the main storyline before I did, do not read this because it contains spoilers!

[Panel 1] *Katie, playing as a warrior class, is prepared to fight Alduin, the endboss dragon, in the afterlife realm of Sovngard. This panel should display the character as a race of raw hereditary might, such as Nord, Redguard, or Orc wielding dual one-handed weapons (swords, axes, maces, fish, etc) with a larger two-handed weapon mounted on their back. Their armor should be Daedric, Dragonbone, or Ebony to show that they're walking tanks that ain't give a daisies!*

[Panel 2] *The warrior class character is shown fighting Alduin with raw strength upon the ground, weapons flailing and Shouts (like Unrelenting Force, Fire, or Dragonrend) being exchanged like dialogue in Resident Evil: Degeneration. It is a panel of absolute chaos instilled by two immovable objects.*

[Panel 3] *Another character, mage class, is shown in a typical arcane pose wielding the Wabbajack and 'holding' a ball of magical or elemental energy to symbolize a spell. Their wardrobe consists entirely of robes and unarmored accessories that have all been enchanted to the Nth degree. Katie will know what the f*ck her mage character is called since it's already in the comics.*

[Panel 4] *Alduin is bearing down on Katie's mage from above, breathing his corrupted soul harvester Shout at them. The mage in return is throwing all sorts of magic right back at them, potentially several kinds of spells or all three element spells with one hand while the other brandishes the staff or empty-handed to generate a Steadfast Ward magical shield.*

[Panel 5] *Katie's stealth/thief/assassin character (probably a wood elf, they're great with bows and sneakiness) is crouched upon a rock wielding either an arrow drawn in their bow, or two daggers dripping with green poison and a bow plus quiver on their back. They're dudded up in a Thieves Guild, Nightingale, or Dark Brotherhood outfit to emphasize their specialty in stealth, and their eyes are casting a shifty glance to the side as if expecting an ambush or to be spotted.*

[Panel 6-1] *The thief is in the background hiding under a rock doing absolutely nothing to help while Alduin devours the three champions set up to assist in defeating him because their precious 30x sneak attack criticals aren't going to work on a boss dragon.*

[Panel 6-2 Alternate Ending] *The thief is busy doing something entirely different like picking pockets or readying their weapons to eliminate.* (OR) *Show Katie either quitting the game and changing it out, or doing something other than playing Skyrim. Either version of this panel is meant to illustrate very subtly that the dragon questline is dull and tedious in comparison to just fighting random-encounter dragons or doing subquests relevant to the character, and that nobody with a brain would try to kill ALDUIN THE WORLD AND SOUL DEVOURING DRAGON with a thief whose best weapon is hiding. Anyone who does obviously failed.*

I'm sure I'll catch some flak for that, but daisies it all, this is Awkward Zombie! We're s'posed to be edgy! We're sugar-fueled netizens livin' on the edge with only two days left 'till retirement! But if that comic doesn't work for you, here's something a little easier that actually happened to me:

[Panel 1] *Katie's character looks over their shoulder in alarm as a dragon is seen flying their way from behind, making for an inevitable battle.*

[Panel 2] *Katie is fighting the dragon throwing magic left and right like a boss. The dragon's health meter should be displayed as low at this point.*

[Panels 3-1 & 3-2] *The killing blow is struck on the dragon while it's in mid-flight rather than on the ground, the health meter shown as empty while the dragon flails in the throes of death!* / *Close-up of Katie's character wearing sunglasses and a smug grin because she's a badass with dragon-killing accuracy.* "Heh."

[Panel 4] *The dragon simply turns about and leaves with the subtitle 'Flies Away' and the back of Katie's frustrated character at having won the battle at great effort and getting no loot or dragon soul.*

An explanation for the peanut gallery: Unless the dragon lands after running out of health while still in the air, the dragon sometimes doesn't actually register as dead and fails to fall to the ground as a dead dragon should. This makes it possible for a dead dragon to simply turn about and leave without actually dying. Best part is that the game recognizes this as 'fleeing' and the dragon never stops flying away, so even if you could keep up with it (PROTIP: you can't), the dragon cannot be provoked into landing in a different "arena" and is no longer susceptible to damage. No corpse = no loot, and even more serious, you never get its soul. This is equally distressing to fix because the only thing more satisfying than killing a dragon is killing it while it's still flying. Makes the whole soul-absorption thing a lot more significant in a way, and it makes you feel hell'a accurate. This glitch doesn't always happen and has only happened to me once out of I think four times I've slain a flying dragon, but that's still an estimated 25% margin, which is unforgiveable. I'm sure there's a patch out that removes the dragon's ability to flee from battle after DEATH, or even adds a death sequence for dragons killed in midair, but I have no access to such a thing.

[Wordsmith]

Here's an idea.

One day, a young, carefree Katie was walking down the street when a man, walking the other way, passed her by...and farted. Having only just passed him, the gas spurted right in her direction, completely enveloping her. Katie continued to walk, but as she was walking downwind, the fart followed, like a loyal pet. Faster she walked, and faster still, but she was never able to outrun the fart. Many years later Katie had learned to accept the fart, and eventually the fart moved on. While relieved to be rid of the fart, Katie couldn't help but feel a bit sad. She had grown accustomed to the fart and a small part of her regretted having to see it leave. However, as time went on, Katie would make occasional visits to the fart. And while the fart misses Katie dearly, it is at the same time pop flyin' with its new life. That fart, ladies and gentlemen, was the Awkward Zombie forums.

[Tetrunes]

Alternatively, "How I Met Your Forum"

[Wordsmith]

Alternate ending: The fart was Norrin

[Kamak]

Alternatively, "How I Met Your Forum"

It'd take a year of comics to even get anywhere, and then Katie would probably drop it to draw more WW Link.

[Wordsmith]

Alright, I have another idea.

Princess Peach, wrapped in a cloak, walks into the woods. She is greeted by a shadowy figure.

"Are you alone?" the shadow asks.

"Yes," replies Peach, as she pulls down her hood and embraces the shadowy figure, who is revealed to be Bowser.

"We can't keep doing this every night. Eventually someone will notice we're gone." Bowser says. "We have to tell them."

"We can't," says Peach. "You know as well as I that our love is forbidden."

"Then leave the Mushroom Kingdom, and join me in the Koopa Kingdom as my bride. My people harbor no ill feelings toward you," Bowser says.

"That may be true, but the Toads are not quite as accepting of...your kind. And I cannot leave my kingdom. It is my duty as princess to govern it."

"Then what are we to do?"

"I've come up with a plan. First, invade my kingdom and "kidnap" me, while telling your kingdom I have agreed to be your wife. We spend whatever time we can together until someone comes to "rescue" me. Let them, while telling your people I had been kidnapped. For a while, I will govern my domain, until the time is right for another staged "kidnapping". We repeat the process as much as necessary."

"But surely the casualties of such a ruse would be taxing."

"That is why I will appoint a royal "hero" to be the one to rescue me. One that can get the job done, but at the same time is so gullible that they can do the same rescue mission again and again while never finding us out."

"But who on Earth could be so stupid?"

Bowser and Peach then look at the reader with sly grins.

Zoom out to show them on the TV screen, as Katie watches, wiimote and nunchuck in hand.

Katie: "So that's it? Mario is just some pawn in the scheme of two star-crossed lovers?"

Then on screen, Mario walks by in the background. Neither Peach nor Bowser turn to look at him.

Katie throws her Wii out the window.

[TheStranger]

Alternatively, "How I Met Your Forum"

It'd take a year of comics to even get anywhere, and then Katie would probably drop it to draw more WW Link.

If it would be anything like the show, itd just be 10 years of the main character describing his sex life in disturbing detail to his kids

[Kamak]

Alternatively, "How I Met Your Forum"

It'd take a year of comics to even get anywhere, and then Katie would probably drop it to draw more WW Link.

If it would be anything like the show, itd just be 10 years of the main character describing his sex life in disturbing detail to his kids

Welp, I'm not sure the forum is ready for Katie's sexual endeavors.

All 2 of them.

[Wordsmith]

It'd take a year of comics to even get anywhere, and then Katie would probably drop it to draw more WW Link.

If it would be anything like the show, itd just be 10 years of the main character describing his sex life in disturbing detail to his kids

Welp, I'm not sure the forum is ready for Katie's sexual endeavors.

All 2 of them.

I made some weird snorting sound when I read that.