AWKWARD ZOMBIE

BEHOLD, THE RETURN OF THE GLORIOUS


-cough-, hey guys, sorry for my lack of updating, general, that was amazing.

also i cringed a lot.

So yea, dealing with drama. I am return.



We ...God dammit

you'll see why I have been reluctant to update, it's because this is going to be shit. the comic, the characters, the writing. It's just pure shit.

I'm already nauseated.



Okay, so apparently the cops tried to arrest Chris for doing something more than retarded, and
his gal-pal....you know what? I don't even remember her name, so I'll make one up. she is now Whorebag McWidecunt.


so the next page shows Mary, God bless her soul, trying to come up with a way to stop chris's antics.



so we discover another hero on a quest for chris's ultimate downfall.

we shall call him white power.





what the fuck, you honestly think that sitting next to a door and drawing a comic in a bar, wearing a headset connected to a nintendo DS and a yellow sonic necklace is going to get women to come up to you and just ...


you know what. why even bother. I mean it's not like he's actually going to listen.



okay so black guy and what I think is Cly Clash, I cant really tell because this is just that bad.

okay so Chris uses his amazing blowing skills, and blows those two pretty hard.

on to the next pa



OMYGODWHATTHEFUCKISHEDOING

OH GOD

he....God that cafeteria slob I had today I can taste it.

and that joke

I feel a tumor growing

QUICK THE BRAIN BLEECH

okay okay....okay... okay I'm good. I'm good. Moving along.




Chris pulls his transformation bullshit and shows everyone how used he is to holding his two fingers together and doing ect ect



sword of...lightning....what

dear God he's been drinking way too much fanta.



Notice how he, instead of adding paneling and clarity, simply put the words "slow motion" above the comic panels.

ha, he said came.




Oh God dammit. Really? You're gonna bastardize transformers now? really?



put his flame out? Are you implying that that orange blob is a flame?

come on chris I mean what the fuck.



So, optimus' bastard son throws Chris, well at least he gets hurt, we can hope for internal damage.



wait...wait a minute

THEY DID IT!HIS REIGN OF STUPIDITY HAS ENDED!

PRAISE TO WHOEVER IS IN CHARGE OF ALL OF THIS



Oh no... HER.

We can only hope for the greater good that she has no idea where they are going.


we can only hope


zap to the extreme, my forumites, zap to the extreme.

Zang wrote: okay so Chris uses his amazing blowing skills, and blows those two pretty hard.

Fucking why, Zang, why. You gave me such bad images.

First off...



Funniest fucking thing. Unintentionally, of course, but just look at it and try not to laugh. Alsooo



Derp face ahoy.

Valbrandur wrote:Fucking why, Panties, why. You gave me such bad images.

Problem, Val?

At some point in the future I will get a videocamera
when I get it, my first video, will be me wasting all my printer ink printing every page of sonichu in color
I will then proceed to BURN every page in a bonfire as I laugh maniacally
at the end of it I will say, Chris your comic is first, you will be next. SEE YOU IN HELL!!!!!!!!

edit: I realized my avatar fits this post

daisies your eyes, Chris, stop referencing Excel Saga.

First, we got 2 of the same pages around here (Page is S-3 BTW).

Second, what is up with the last page? There's a giant...block thing... maybe it's my compy.

Third, he brought giant mechas into this poorly made self idolizing fan comic... I suddenly wonder what else he'll ruin with his touch.

...that was awesome

Very nice!

Taruta wrote:First, we got 2 of the same pages around here (Page is S-3 BTW).

Chris doesn't keep track of things. This should not surprise you.

Second, what is up with the last page? There's a giant...block thing... maybe it's my compy.

nah,It happened for me too, the pic must've had some kind of error. Just assume it's something along the lines of "Oh no! I shall come save you, my brother" or something.

Third, he brought giant mechas into this poorly made self idolizing fan comic... I suddenly wonder what else he'll ruin with his touch.

take your pic.

Zang wrote:take your pic.

...OH...MY...GOD...

Guess who has a new avatar.

Ok, time for context.

Three days before drawing this comic, Chris got into deep shit.

It was July 20th, 2005, and a new Target had just opened in Ruckersville. It had been a month since Chris got himself banned from Wal-Mart, and he'd set up shop inside Target for the reasons he outlined in the comic.

Almost immediately, Chris was approached by management and asked to leave. Chris got belligerent and refused to move(going by the comic he pretended they didn't exist). The managers responded by calling the police. Not the mall-cop variety Chris normally had to deal with, either. These were TRUE and HONEST cops in BLUE or BLACK, not the SLANDEROUS, VIRGIN-HATING BROWN-WEARING FAKES.

They asked Chris to leave again, this time informing him that he was banned from Target.

Chris wrote:I did not want to leave. I would have left peacefully, in fact, I was ready to go, but I had a prepared speech to say to them stupid Jerkops

Chris apparently attempted to give a speech to the cops. Chris claimed that during said speech, the cops spontaneously arrested him. What actually happened, however, was a lot more hilarious. The moment Chris saw the cops, he bolted. This led to the cops chasing him through the store until they managed to dogpile onto him. Chris would later complain of the following things happening in said dogpile:

*Someone pulled his pants down
*He was hog-tied
*His head was rubbed against the carpet hard enough to draw blood
*The handcuffs used on him were too tight and he lost feeling in his hands
*The cops were too heavy and he couldn't breathe

Chris was then plonked in the back of a cop car and hauled off to the county jail. However, Chris's parents paid bail and he was released before he could spend a night in prison. Chris mentioned, later, that the only thing he found amusing about the ordeal was that the arresting officer had a name that rhymed with a dirty word. It should be mentioned that IRL Bagget is a renowned hero who, in addition to arresting Chris, saved two people from a burning building.

Chris was put on trial the following week. In the period between the arrest and the trial, he drew Sub-Episodes 7 and 8. According to Chris's claim that his mother would "get them back in court", it's likely that Chris's parents attempted to sue the police for brutality/discrimination.

It should be noted that a day before the trial, Chris got into a car accident with some lady. Some claim that he did it so he could ask her out or something. Chris claims a math problem got stuck in his head and he rear-ended a lady. He was arrested again. Chris lost $30 to fines and was ordered to pay $56 to repairs. Eventually, after two hearings, Chris was let off. However, he was still banned from the Target.

Ultra Bidoof wrote:Bagget is a renowned hero who, in addition to arresting Chris, saved two people from a burning building.

I'm having trouble picking out the more heroic act.

Ultra Bidoof that is amazing, dude where do you find this stuff out I have to see this.